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Just Said Yes February 2018

Bratty Bridesmaids ruining my wedding excitement!

Alyssa, on February 5, 2018 at 1:43 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 13
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I am getting married and 17 days, and my bachelorette party is this weekend. My MOH is making it all about her. I have planned 90% of the night and had to argue with her about it constantly. She wanted to just go out to dinner and go home. I wanted to go to a bar. She is a part time barista at Starbucks and was complaining bc she normally works Sunday mornings. I asked her to maybe take a later shift, and after some huffing and puffing she did. My other bridesmaid said she was down and ready to go, but last week she said she can’t be there till after 9 now bc of an engagement party for a girls whose wedding she isn’t even in. My other bridesmaids I understand because they live out of town and have small children. Now my MOH wants to invite her boyfriend and all of their friends. She said they would do there own thing, but be there to watch out for us. That was fine with me, but now she is talking about how much fun it will be with all of us and how she plans to get wasted. I don’t even know these people. I told her I didn’t want to hangout with them and was looking for a low key night at a bar with some friends. She keeps making the night about her and what she wants, and when I tell her something she says she understands then tries to ask again in a few days.

I am am beyond fed up with the lack of support and help. The only help I had received was in buying my dress. Only one ordered there dress before January. One hasn’t even gotten hers in yet bc she waited to long (we are 17 days out) and the other is just now getting hers fitted! I also planned all but the food of my bridal shower.

This is mostly to vent, but also to see if anyone else went through the same thing and has advice.

13 Comments

Latest activity by M.Hand, on February 6, 2018 at 10:34 AM
  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    I's just cancel it. You both are being too dramatic about it.

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  • Peaches84
    Savvy September 2019
    Peaches84 ·
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    Nope can't say I haveBratty Bridesmaids ruining my wedding excitement! 1


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  • Amanda
    Super May 2018
    Amanda ·
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    Well, first off - you shouldn't have planned 90% of the night on your own. You should have left it up to your MOH and BM's to plan this event for you. I also would be salty as your MOH for "making her" take a later shift since she had to work in the morning. If I were her, I would've passed on even attending your bachelorette party.

    Now it seems out of control. I would do what @OG Kathryn said and cancel it. If it's not what you even want (and you planned it yourself) than it's gotten out of hand.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Honestly, your MOH might be feeling some kinda way cause you didn't let her plan the event. Kinda makes sense that she's not an invested. I don't think I'd call her bratty...

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    In all honesty, you're not supposed to plan pre-wedding events in your honor, like a bachelorette party. If someone else is interested in hosting one, they are supposed to offer and they are supposed to plan it. Otherwise, you just don't have one, as it is optional.

    Attendance is also optional. I'd be grateful that your BM who has two events to attend that night is making the effort to attend both, even though she's going to be late.

    It sounds like you should have let your MOH plan the dinner she wanted to do for your bachelorette. It's possible that she's sore that you didn't just let her plan what she was able to plan, and now that she's had to rearrange her work schedule to have a late night out, she wants to make the most of it with her boyfriend and some other friends. I can't exactly blame her for feeling that way. You've let her know you're not comfortable with all the extra people, and I think that's really all you can do. If you're going to public place, you can't really prevent others from also being at that bar. Hopefully, she'll keep in mind that you'd rather hang with the small group of friends invited to the bachelorette, not her friends if they come to the same bar, and she'll try to limit the time she spends with her friends and stay present with the bachelorette group.

    Also, keep in mind that your BMs aren't required to help with your wedding planning. They have lives that don't stop just because you are getting married. Your FS is the only person responsible for helping plan your wedding. If others offer, that's nice, but they aren't required to do so.
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    You shouldn’t have planned any of it and it isn’t their responsibility to help with anything to do with your wedding. They don’t have to plan or prep with you.
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  • AbeFroman
    Devoted October 2018
    AbeFroman ·
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    Tbh, this whole situation is much more dramatic than it needs to be. You should've let her plan the party she wanted to plan.

    And no one is required to help you or hold your hand through wedding planning.
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  • Mrs.Sanok
    VIP September 2018
    Mrs.Sanok ·
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    Like everyone else has said. You should have not planned any of your bachelorette party. I would be pretty annoyed if the bride just took over and changed everything that I have already planned.

    You also cannot be mad someone is going to an engagement party. So what if they are not in the wedding? They want to celebrate her other friend engagement!

    In my opinion what your MOH organically planned sounds wonderful! But I love to be at home and hang out with friends! We are not the bar type!

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    Sorry, but this is why we advise against planning your own pre-wedding parties. I agree with the other PPs that you should just cancel it. Your MOH had a nice suggestion of taking you out to dinner, but you weren't happy with that idea and on top of it, you made her change her work schedule to suit you. If I were your MOH I'd be a bit sore about how this all went down so I don't blame her for her response now.

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  • AllieB25
    Expert October 2018
    AllieB25 ·
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    Yeesh, this is all too much. I would cancel and be done with it. You should have let her plan the party for you that she wanted, if I was your MOH I would be upset too about you taking this away from her. It sounds like you told her what she was going to plan for you wasn't good enough, which may have hurt her feelings. And I won't even get into making her change her work schedule for your party.

    If there's any behavior I would deem 'bratty' in this situation, it would be yours.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    The last sentence of pp captures my thoughts exactly....

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  • Deirdre
    Super March 2018
    Deirdre ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    This is an awesome meme!


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  • S
    Expert July 2017
    SaraBear ·
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    • You shouldn’t have planned your own bachelorette. I’d be pissed if I tried to plan a bride her bachelorette and she told me no and told me I had to do what she planned.
    • You shouldn’t have told your friend to change her shift at work.
    • She offered a “low key night” with dinner and drinks and instead you want to go to bar. You shouldn’t have told her you wanted a “low key night” at a bar. It’s literally the same. exact. thing.
    • If my friend made me change my work shift (because we’re going to be out late) and told me we were going to a bar, I would also assume that we were going out, not doing something low key. If you wanted something low key, adding on a trip to the bar and forcing her to pick up a later shift was not the answer. If you told me i needed to change my shift and we were going to a bar, I would also be getting drunk (wasted).
    • it’s annoying she invited her boyfriend and friends but you can’t help who is at the bar. An acquaintance of mine invited some guy she went on one date with and his friend to my bachelorette and into my hotel room. We’re no longer speaking (for other reasons tho). Perhaps, she’s right and they will do their own thing.
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