Breaking Utah Reception Norms

A good DJ can really make the difference in setting a "party atmosphere." Still not as well as alcohol does, but it's something.

Alcohol and a good DJ are really the only things that keep the party going, in my opinion. If I did attend a dry wedding, I wouldn't stay at all after dinner. That being said, I've never even been invited to a dry wedding, so I have no personal experience. If you're not having alcohol, plan on a short reception. I don't think there's much you can do.

We're having an open bar and DJ to make sure we have a party that lasts late into the night.

I think you should focus on having an out of this world meal for your guests. If there is no alcohol, there will be no dancing, and an amazing meal will give them something to remember.

All I got is alcohol.....

Why no alcohol?

I'm assuming no alcohol because the majority of attendees are Mormon?

Games or organized activities could keep some folks around- you know your crowd best. Some examples: lawn games with prizes, dance exhibition and lessons (swing is popular with my friends), live band with caller (doesn't have to be square or line dancing, could be ceilidh etc). Will they like nostalgia, trivia, activity or competition? Only you can say.

I would say having games or activities would help. A mostly Mormon guest list is not going to snub you for your lack of alcohol, coming from a Mormon. Have ways to allow others to interact with each other, get a good DJ. Maybe even wait a little before dinner is served?

Are you LDS? If so and are planning a ring ceremony, maybe wait a while to have it in the reception?

Definitely have a good DJ. All of the Utah weddings I've been to haven't had a DJ at all. They've been just candy bars, receiving lines, and that's it. So it's kinda hard to stay for a reception when there isn't one really. Have a great DJ, serve dinner, make people want to stay..don't have a receiving line. I feel like whenever I see that at a wedding I drop my gift off and leave immediately. Dancing is enough for Utah weddings because it's not super common anyways.

Huh. I grew up going to dry weddings, but most people stay for 2-3 hours, nibbling at things and just talking. It's not the lack of alcohol, it's the lack of expectation.

I would set out some board games and have a good DJ to try to engage people. Maybe set out some madlibs or customized trivia about the two of you. I'd also spread some word of mouth that you're soooo looking forward to everyone hanging out for a while and chatting and dancing etc.

So yes, I am LDS. No, I have no idea about this ring ceremony business.

Great DJ it is! Any more advice as far as lawn games and such?

Are you being sealed in the temple or having a civil ceremony? If temple, some couples choose to exchange rings at their reception as a way to involve friends and family who are not able to be at the sealing. FH and I are doing this as all of our families and most of our friends are not LDS.

If you serve a dinner, that will all by itself make the reception longer. Other than that, what do people in your social circles normally do at parties? Obviously, they are not drinking, but do they dance, or play games, or what? I'd start with that, and see how you could adapt it to your wedding.

I grew up in Utah and I have never been to a wedding reception that I stayed at for longer than half an hour myself. If you want people to stay...

1. No receiving line. If you aren't mingling with your guests, nobody is going to sit around for hours.

2. Have different segments of the night--if not alcohol, at least drink service or some sort of punch. Then dinner, then cake, then dancing.

3. Real food. Every single reception I've been to had one of those disgusting chocolate fountains and some cut up fruit, maybe a ham roll if I was lucky. If you invite people over dinner, you really should serve dinner. Or, make it clear that it's a cake and punch reception.

4. I hate games and activities at weddings, and I've never seen people actually play board games at a wedding despite almost every one I've been to including them on the tables. So this tip is just to know your audience--if they would love bocce ball, include it, but you can't just set out jenga sets and assume guests will entertain themselves.

To those wondering why no booze: alcohol laws are sooooo different/strict in Utah!

I definitely suggest a plated dinner. Some kind of entertainment like a live band?

@ninjaaa, definitely not the only LDS bride here.

The ring ceremony is pretty standard here, but I am in Missouri rather than Utah so I'm sure that makes a difference. I don't think having mostly LDS members in attendance means you should automatically not have a ring ceremony though. We have plenty of LDS friends who would not be able to go to the sealing simply due to age (too young) and distance.

I've been on here since late November! Down to 12 days until we go to the KC temple, just had our temple recommend interviews with the stake president yesterday. It's crazy that we only have 1 Sunday left in our YSA branch before we "graduate" haha.

We are choosing to have one because literally no one in either of our families is able to be in the temple. FHs mom passed in October, and she was the only one even close, but she hadn't started temple prep classes yet or anything. My parents have been pretty supportive, for which I'm so grateful.

FH wanted to go to St. Louis, but it is closed for cleaning starting next Monday. After going a few times to do sealings with our branch and with friends, I think we both agree that the sealing rooms in KC are absolutely stunning. The temple is also allowing my parents to stay in the waiting room until Aaron and I come downstairs, and they will be the first to see us as a married couple before we make our grand exit

Thank you for the condolences. There are good days and bad days, but the perspective on life and death in the church has helped make this less bittersweet than it otherwise would have been.

He was running really late behind, but he knew FH from the time he was little so it was nice to talk and get some good marriage advice from him. I think I may be the first person who's ever asked him about how to go about adding FH on to my familysearch account as my husband, though. (It's the little things, you know).

If it's fun, they will stay. Find a good DJ. Be sure to talk to him about what he finds keeps guests there longer. On Pinterest, I've been seeing a lot of RSVPs with a song request line.

I'm LDS as is FH and his family and we're having a traditional wedding and reception following with no booze. We hired a DJ (one of the few splurges we're allowing since we're on a budget) and we're going to have him play upbeat music, encourage dancing, and I'm considering playing the shoe game during the reception if any "lull" is present. http://www.bridalguide.com/blogs/bridal-buzz/the-shoe-game

I'm planning on displaying an "order of events" for the reception as well so people know what's coming next...

"Mix and Mingle Hour....First Dance...Grab Some Grub...Dance....Cake....Fun and Games...etc.etc."

There will always be people that leave sooner than you'd expect regardless of whether or not there's alcohol.

Good luck!