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CourtneyBrittain
Master August 2019

Bridal or Wedding shower?

CourtneyBrittain, on June 7, 2019 at 3:13 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 17
My mom has been talking to a couple of her friends who would like to host a shower. My mom is thinking it would be a bridal shower, meaning just me and then various ladies invited, but FH comes from a family where it’s always the couples shower; whether it’s a wedding shower, baby shower, etc. it is centered around the couple. When I mentioned that FH would like to be a part of the shower, my mom seemed off out by the idea and said traditionally it’s just a ladies thing. I thought recently wedding showers were becoming a couples thing?
FH hasn’t had many strong opinions, but he would like to be a part of the shower and it gives him a chance to meet people and vice versa.

What are your thoughts on a wedding shower vs strictly a bridal shower?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on June 8, 2019 at 3:12 PM
  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    I like couple's showers! Would both men and women be invited?

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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    I’m not sure, that kind of depends on the host/who all is invited. I’d like the idea of both men and women being invited, but that quickly doubles the people invited so I would leave that decision to the host.
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  • Kate
    Dedicated June 2019
    Kate ·
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    I think if he wants to be involved then that's really nice & you should do that! Having a bridal shower is fun because its usually just ladies but I think there's too much separation in the wedding process & its fun to get to spend time together celebrating you as a couple. honestly, I'm usually really cranky about going to showers because its usually for like some cousin I barely know & neither of my brothers even have to send a gift which seems unfair lol at my shower FH dropped me off but then ended up hanging out through 90% of it because hes friends with all the girls too.

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  • Kate
    Dedicated June 2019
    Kate ·
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    Another thing too a lot of time men are turned off by the idea of showers - we were invited to a couple shower & FH didn't go cause he wasn't into it so a lot of the guys still might not show - but I really agree with you & your consideration of the cost, i think it really does depend on the host

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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    Exactly haha, why should us girls have to spend all the money 😂
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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    Hmm that is a good point!
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    We had 2 couples showers and loved it! Most of are friends are married or in relationships so it made sense to include everyone.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    I've been to both a ladies only bridal shower and a couples wedding shower. It's a different dynamic for sure. But I thought the couples shower was really fun!! It was nice to see the couple together, chatting about the wedding, and opening gifts together.

    I think if FH wants it to be a couples shower, you should try to convince your mom to do that. Men hardly ever want this, so you should give it to him, if you can.

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    I have hosted couple's showers for friends and we had a couple's shower. I've been to traditional bridal showers as well. I actually prefer the couple's shower where both men and women are invited. At our couple's shower, we had a good turn out of guys and girls and everyone had a great time. In fact, the guys really got into the games.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think having a joint one could be really fun. i never even thought of that myself but i see a lot of that happening more and more. it's sort of like in lieu of an engagement party

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    The idea that the shower should be only for the bride comes from an era in which it was assumed that the whole wedding was the bride's day, and the groom was only a prop. More and more people are recognizing that the wedding should be about the two of them. I'd definitely go with the couples shower.

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  • Michaela
    Super May 2020
    Michaela ·
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    Do you know if his side wants to do some sort of shower? I think it's also pretty common to have two showers, one on the brides side and one on the grooms side. If your mom is set on having a bridal shower, you can do that, and then his side can have a couples shower for you both! Not saying everyone always has two, or that you HAVE to have two, but it's not uncommon to do so Smiley smile

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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    No one else has mentioned throwing a shower yet, and his family lives up in Wichita so to our knowledge it’s just the one shower
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I cringe at the idea of a couples shower. I just think about my aunts dragging my uncles there. No thanks. See you boys at the wedding.

    I think a bridal shower is more of a female relative thing, and a couples shower although I'd much rather have an informal Jack&Jill or what not is more for the friend group.


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  • S
    Devoted September 2019
    Sara ·
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    The ladies only notion of showers was for older, married relatives to share with the bride how to be a wife. Through gifts and wisdom, the idea was to prepare the bride for her new married life.

    Ditto to baby showers for new moms!

    i think that tends to be less the case now, but I’m still looking forward to my girly shower. 😊
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    We're doing co-ed and I should go to bed because it's in less than 10 hours!!

    I call it a bridal shower, but FH has been calling it a wedding shower... I should switch to his terminology.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Most wedding showers I am invited to or and give, are women only. I go to 7 to 15 a year, sometimes one is a couples shower, mostly not. I like co- Ed showers, either closest female or closest male friends of the bride, each coming as singles, and no family. But I greatly dislike couples showers except the rare ones where both members if every couple know both bride and groom well. I hate it when in almost every couple, one person knows either the bride or the groom well, and not both, and their date is a stranger in barely acquainted. We had one shower I hated. Hubby or I knew well only 1/4 of the guests each, and nearly 3/4 of guests were near strangers to each of us. We never socialized with any if these people as couples, so all SO were complete strangers, half the party, and he or I knew one person of every couple. It was a well attended, terrible party.
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