Bridal party gifts

I have a small bridal party- 1 MOH & 2 bridesmaids. They purchased their dresses & they can wear whatever black shoes they own. I will be paying for hair/makeup for me & 2 others except 1 since she wants to do her own)- they will cover the tip. I scored many things on Etsy. I got them personalize totes, makeup bags & bracelets that were on sale. Magnets from Hallmark that was on their 75% off table. Lipgloss from Ulta that was on clearance. Specialty soaps, jams & syrup from the gift shop (I work at a hospital) that was on clearance. I purchased some sterling silver earrings from a farmers market that they marked down since I was getting 3 sets. The most expensive thing I purchased was some specialty olive oil & balsamic vinegar for each. All together, it was around $90 per person.

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I always got the impression that wedding party gifts, like bridesmaid proposals, were something that only gained popularity in the last decade or so due to Pinterest culture. I looked on Emily Post but couldn't find anything one way or the other.

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I have heard many people on this site and others say they'd prefer the dress expenses be paid for as opposed to receiving a gift...if you think about it, the dress/shoes/hair/makeup can be $300+ while any bridesmaid gift would rarely exceed $100. So by paying for the wedding expenses, the BMs are receiving more financial value than if they paid for their attire and received a gift. I find it a nice gesture.

In other countries (like where I suspect Belle may be from?), it is commonplace for the bride and groom to pay for wedding party attire. Only in the States do BMs pay. Which I don't mind - if paying for attire, the B/G almost certainly could not afford a gift on top. I couldn't!

View Quoted Comment Until about 15 years ago, including years I was first in weddings, couple paid for lodgings for BM and GM to stay if they came from out of town, before and night after a wedding, or if they came earlier at couple's request, like rehearsal. Or if they traveled to a destination. And people took care of their own hair or went to hair dresser themselves, not at the prices of current HMU. And people did not expect bridesmaids to split $1500-3,000 showers, or spend more than a few hours in the evening for a bachelor or bachelorette. And I am not talking covered wagon days, I am almost 40.
Overall, people expect too much for weddings, often, these days. ... I would rather the new stuff, BM proposal gifts, robes or shirts, stuff that says bridesmaid, favors, welcome bags, spa stuff, bottles of wine, drinks while getting ready, all new bride buys stuff that has come about recent 15 years, was what got eliminated, in exchange for the 1 traditional personal gift. If brides pick up other costs, fine. But when they do, the stuff usually is never worn elsewhere. Or is unnecessary, like 200-250 a bride recently generously said she was paying for HMUA for each of us in her party. Who did not want it. Or the earrings. Or the shoes. She is ranting about what she is spending, when everyone says, we don't want it, and making it a gift does not force us to accept it. So we just do not consider it a gift. Or something she is paying, that we would have to otherwise. Because we would simply not have it. This has happened repeatedly in the last few years. ... Too much money has become involved, too many expectations, in many weddings. ... Meanwhile, I do think it should not just be a money tradeoff. Brides should give a thank you gift, because they appreciate the BM being BM. Not give gift shop tote bags and candles stuff. And not just lift the burden of bridal "requirements."

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I agree that a lot of things that people are fussed about are unnecessary. I asked/expected my girls to buy their own dresses, from 1 of 3 colors and any style they wanted, on Azazie. I think that was fair. Offered the option of hair and makeup, at $75/each, or they could do their own. Shoes and jewelry, whatever they wanted as long as it went with the dress.

I am doing BM gifts, but admittedly, they will be (almost) the same for every person - I posted in a previous thread but I am getting them LL Bean tote bags, a stainless steel tumbler in their favorite color, a hanger personalized with their name (not bridesmaid), and a personalized ring dish. I know a lot of people suggested individual gifts but I have 7 girls and finding something approximately equal in value for each of them would have been too much of a headache.

View Quoted Comment Proposal gifts are the product of Pinterest and wedding tv and pressure brides into spending more money than they need to or have when a phone call works just as well.

View Quoted Comment We did exactly what you are doing and I did the same for my bridal party. Azazie dress and all

My BDs are paying for their dresses, shoes, and make up. They're doing their own hair.

I got them a cute cup with their name on it, a robe to get ready, and a tote bag.