Bridal Party Guilt

I have not bc I'm not having a bridal party. My FH was in a wedding and his friend did not do this, which I thought was inconsiderate.

I haven’t only because they live close to the venue- the farthest they would have to travel is 45 mins away so they won’t have hotel expenses. My FH & I are 2.5 hrs away from the venue. I’m paying for mine, my MOH (my sister) & 1 bridesmaid’s (my daughter) hair & makeup but they’re covering the tip. My other bridesmaid wants to do her own.

It's definitely a good thing to discuss. They can tell you if it's out of their budget or not

I personally didn’t do this because I’m covering all the costs of my bridal party. But I think this is a really considerate thing to do. You are right about expenses adding up quickly. I’m sure your BMs would be very appreciative to have some input

I didn't check per se, but there were some people I didn't ask on purpose because of this (one of my dear friends had *just* recovered from cancer), and then I deliberately kept things as low cost as possible.

We all went dress shopping together, and I said, "this color, preferably this length, doesn't have to match". ...They all picked the same dress, and it wasn't that bad. I didn't require make-up or jewelry, or really anything besides the dress.

So, I kept costs down that way.

I spoke with each of them individually about theit budget for bridesmaids dresses and I made sure to stay within that amount. For hair and makeup, I told them I was considering someone for the wedding along with pricing and left it up to them if they wanted either service. For nails, I invited the girls to go with me the day before for manicures and pedicures. Again I left it completely up to them. They handled their own travel and hotel accommodations. While we got ready the morning of the wedding, I provided breakfast and lunch.

People except the position based on the fact that they know they will be asked to participate in certain events and there will be extra expenses. They are responsible for their airfare, hotel, and attire. The bride is responsible for providing make up and hair services. Plus The grooms family is responsible for providing the rehearsal dinner following rehearsal.

When I asked my BMs, leading up to the “will you please stand beside me as my bridesmaid” part, I set expectations about the dress cost. I’m covering hair and makeup, and I’m trying to keep costs low by not requiring a certain dress or shoes - just that they meet certain criteria like color and length. So hopefully they have worn it before and/or will wear it again, as they won’t look like traditional BM dresses. So I definitely think it’s a valid question, and a very considerate idea. For me, this comes down to a “know your crowd” thing. In my experience (and I know this can vary), it’s always been the guest/BM’s responsibility to pay for travel and lodging. I’ve seen hair & makeup covered by the couple, not covered, and half-covered. If I was a BM in a wedding with particularly expensive BM dresses, or in a particularly high-price location, or at a particularly high-price time of year (like holidays or peak summer rates), I would probably have extra appreciation for the bride covering hair and/or makeup. Overall, my personal opinion is that it’s important to make sure the BMs (after they paid for the flight/hotel/dress) are “covered” upon arrival....like fed and shown hospitality for the weekend (like breakfast and/or lunch while getting ready together, brunch the day after, etc). Good luck!!!

I didn't have a talk with them but we also didn't choose expensive dresses for them either. And I decided that I would buy all of their shoes. I'm not requiring them to get their hair or makeup professionally done, if they want to they can decide and pay for it. Which none of them had a problem, they didn't even want me buying their shoes lol

I asked them their budget for dresses, and most said "we're fine with whatever you want". I knew I wanted to go with Azazie for dresses, which are around $80-$130 each, so I specified that price point and they were fine with it. Candidly, if you agree to be a bridesmaid, you shouldn't have a problem with a $100 BM dress.


When it came to hair and makeup, I found a few places I liked and told them what the prices were (around $75 per service I think) and left it up to them if they wanted to get them done or do it themselves.
I am getting an Airbnb for us all for the weekend so that wasn't an issue. I didn't ask the about other travel expenses.

I did a few check-ins, yes.

I made hair and makeup optional, and told everyone the price. I also let everyone choose their own dress (only requirements were navy and floor-length), but they were still ultimately responsible for covering those costs, and I understand it adds up.

One of my bridesmaids got pregnant a few months before our wedding and needed to get her dress altered. With her new upcoming expenses, I offered to cover the cost of alterations and she took me up on it.

We did have an issue with some of the groomsmen having sticker shock over suit rentals, and DH had to have a few heart-to-hearts with them to figure things out.

View Quoted Comment I did the same thing! I bought shoes for my bridesmaids to try to keep their expenses as low as possible, and they all didn't want me to pay for them.

I didn't talk with them, but I'm just being mindful about everything. I gave them a color and length and they all picked their own dresses. I'm letting them decide if they want to get their hair and makeup done or do it themselves, and I'm not requiring specific shoes or jewelry. I'm also not doing a destination bachelorette. Just be respectful and treat them the way you would like to be treated if you were a bridesmaid.

Yes, I did check in with each bridesmaid along the way when making decisions, especially since all of my bridesmaids had to travel (the first check-in was asking about their dress budget). We kept the dresses under $150 a person which they paid for, I covered all of their hair and makeup, and they covered their own travel. Half stayed in the hotel block we arranged and the other half found cheaper lodging on their own. The bulk of their expenses were spent on travel. Like one of the PPs mentioned, I also made sure they were taken care of and well fed for the weekend. I would definitely recommend checking in with them!

View Quoted Comment I'm sure they appreciated it though, it's such a nice gesture!

I never talked to my bridal party about costs, but I tried being as budget conscious for them, hence why I got my dresses at Dress and Charm for a wonderful $65, and for the groomsmen I gave them a simple dresscode to follow.

I talked to my girls separately about what price point they felt most comfortable with. One is still in college, one just bought a house, one is saving for an elopement, and the other is making renovations on her house. I didn't want to pick a dress that would be too costly!

They all gave me the same price range luckily, so it worked out!

I personally appreciate it when the bride asks for an honest opinion when it comes to budget. It shows that she understands that the bridal party has other financial obligations other than her wedding, and that she's aware of that.

Dude that would be so nice if you did check in about that. because a lot of people do not realize how much $ and time it can take to be in someone's bridal party. in the midst of the excitement of being asked to be a part of someone's special day, there's actual logistics that people might forget or not realize.

The only things I'm not paying for is their dresses and flights for the 'maids from out of town. I checked in with them when I'd picked out the dresses to see if it was in everyone's budget and the girls had no problems affording it. I'll probably check in out of courtesy closer to the date to see if they've got no problems with their flights.

I had a private talk with each before they became bridesmaids. I don't believe in proposals and surprises. So I knew, for example that with them in other states during my whole engagement, it would cost more than any of the 3 could afford to come back for a shower, much less the cost. And I said no to that. Other friends and MOG offered showers, and I accepted those. And I let the bridesmaids pick and shop for their own dresses, so they could control costs. It is very important to all that people put their lives and family above anyone's wedding. Nice you are concerned about them.