Bridal Party Guilt

I think this conversation should happen before anyone agrees to be in a wedding at all. The bride should have a somewhat clear picture of what she wants and should communicate that to potential maids before they agree to be in the wedding.

Expectations can vary greatly from wedding to wedding - from "just buy any dress that fits in this color palette and is within your budget and show up to my big day" to "I expect you to have this exact dress, shoes, accessories, and hair AND I want you to help me with planning and decor, AND I want to you plan shower and bachelorette for me AND I expect you to pay your way to attend my destination wedding at this expensive resort." So it's very easy for folks to get wrapped up in the moment, say "yes" and end up well in over their head and over their budget. Being in a wedding can cost $50 or $1500 pretty easily.

If you've already asked your maids and are feeling guilty about how expensive participating is, then you should think of a way to scale back your expectations to what you think is reasonable for your friends to contribute to be a part of your wedding. How much do you want your friends to pay to be in your wedding? How much would you feel comfortable paying to be a part of someone else's wedding? Is it $100, a few hundred dollars, a thousand? Whatever that number is, manage your expectations to work within that budget. If you feel like its on the low end, let maids choose their own dresses (within a framework of basic guidelines you provide), pick an inexpensive dress off a site like Lulu's or any number of other affordable options, or offer to buy the dresses for your maids. There are a lot of choices you can make to make being in your wedding less expensive for your bridesmaids.