Bridal Party Hair

View Quoted Comment

Same. I was being generous and taking OP at her word that she actually has a diagnosis, but it does appear she is using it as shorthand to describe her pickiness.

With your wedding over a year away, it’s still quite early to be making such detailed decisions. Even if all girls have hair up, it does not guarantee that it there will be symmetry. What if all girls decide to have their hair done in a low bun and one decides to wear it up high with lots of curls? What happens if a girl cuts her hair short? Ultimately, you have to choose your battles and decide if this is worth potentially losing a bridesmaid (and friendship) over.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Not everyone is comfortable with their hair up and that should be respected. If you require it to be up, then be prepared to cover the bill yourself. A friendship should be more important at the end of the day than how someone looks.

Also, if my friend went on a wedding board and said she was worried about me, her bridesmaid and friend looking like a clown in makeup? I’d be backing out of that wedding, and likely, the friendship.

View Quoted Comment YES! 👏🏻🙌🏻 came here to say this! I absolutely cannot STAND when people do this and toss "OCD" around like it isn't a serious medical condition!

I don't think you're out of line at all. A simple request is not telling them that they must wear it this way or that way. You're giving them freedom to choose a style, so requesting an updo isn't too bridezilla, in my opinion anyways. If you were wanting specific hairstyle, I'd say you'd need to pay if they couldn't choose. BUT, you've given them an idea of what you're wanting and are allowing them to choose the specific style, so I think it's okay.
I will say - I don't think your bridesmaid giving you issues has anything at all to do with the hair or the money. I think she probably just wants to control things. My brother's wife WAS in my party until a few days ago when she decided to throw a fit over nothing. She hated the dresses I chose and was worried about being cold (wedding is indoors and we are providing sherpa blankets for all guests), so I wasn't risking having to put up with her unnecessary drama. Back in November, she picked the ugliest dress for us girls and not one of us said anything. Not to mention, she told me that I needed to wear nude heels but the other girls showed up in crocs, doc martins, birkenstocks, and cowboy boots. Again, I was told that my hair, makeup, and nails needed to be done a specific way. The other girls brushed their hair (only; no style or anything whatsoever), wore absolutely no makeup, and didn't have even their toes done, much less their finger nails). I hated literally everything about being in her party (especially because her and her family wouldn't shut up about the wedding and talked about it 24/7, but if I even so much as mention mine, she can't stand it because the attention isn't on her), but I sucked it up and did it because it wasn't about me. Now that the tables have turned and roles reversed, she voices her opinion about everything simply because she wants control. Doesn't work with me, so she will no longer be included 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'd say so long to the bridesmaid giving you trouble if she can't get it to together. This day is about you and hubby, nobody else. Good luck!!!