Bridal shower- alternative gifts for a couple living together

@Melissa- FH and I found a few things to register for but it was hard. We're just not into material things and we are established in life. If I want new knives I just go buy them. Why would I wait to get married to upgrade if I wanted to? That makes no sense to me. We spent 3 hours in BBB and ended up with a bunch of stuff on the registry that we already own. Guess you can never have too many wooden spoons....

@Erin Wood.. my FH and I are with you on not upgrading! We like to use our stuff until it can't be used anymore also! We are big on buying or own things so it was hard to create a registry as well!!

If you REALLY don't need any thing and you don't want to do "upgrades" - why not register at JustGive and pick out 2-3 charities that you really like? Your guests can donate to your charities in your name. That's what we're doing.

Upgrade all of the things.

@Wanda- On WW that's frowned upon as well.

What do you WANT to have, but not yet bought? I'm in the same boat, so a lot of my registry will be upgrades and whatnot. But we've found some "just for fun" items that still have a purpose, but aren't really needed. We also want full tool boxes and power tools, even though we aren't in a house yet. We could still use them and they'll be handy when we do buy a house!

Great suggestions...as long as they don't include requests for cash, the retail world is your oyster.

Hi! I work at Zola and get this question a lot. I agree with the comments above - I feel like you can always upgrade your bedding + bath linens. Bath linens were my favorite - I never had a bath sheet before so my shower felt like the right time to ask for one. I also asked for items for my home - artwork, rugs, etc. Even though we didn't need it at the time, we moved after our wedding so having new home decor felt nice for our new space. Experiences are also a nice option - maybe asking for a Blue Apron subscription?

You could do a stock the bar shower, lingerie shower maybe. Some sort of pamper the bride shower would be cool. Honeymoon themed shower when you get items to take on your honeymoon. Recipe shower.

I mean, you also don't have to have a shower. The point of a shower is the gifts, if you really don't need/want any gifts, just skip the shower.

Did someone seriously suggest registering for soulcycle?!

I pay a ton of money for my own monthly flywheel membership. I can't imagine asking someone to pick up the tab for that.

I second lingerie shower, those are fun

I've been dating my FH for 10.5 years, lived with him for 5 of those, and he has an Italian mother who considers it one of her major functions in life to buy kitchen appliances for her children. I thought we had everything we would need and I wouldn't know what to include on the registry. I was super wrong lol. I got MyRegistry which lets you put a little tab in your browser's bookmark bar and whenever I saw something I liked, I would click on that and it would add it to my registry.

Over the course of a few weeks, I ended up finding so much cool stuff for our apartment. I also focused a lot on decor, because that's something that FH and I will almost always resist buying ourselves because we don't want to spend money on an area rug or a cool clock.

For our couple's shower, my mom is doing a stock the bar party, because it's just going to be my family and I don't want them to feel like they need to go crazy and buy what amounts to two big wedding gifts.

Don't listen to Tanya. Honeymoon funds are tacky to begin with, even worse for a shower.

If you truly don't 'need anything', then don't have a shower. Have a lunch or something.

Charity registries are problematic. People may or may not like the cause; they may or may not like the administration.

I actually like the wine or food subscription idea, but I really feel they are overpriced and the packaging is overwhelming...

If feel that a gift to charity should never be "frowned upon". If you don't like the couple's charity pick one of your own to donate in their name or pick something that relates to their life story. If they met at college donate to the alumnae association. If they have a close relative with a disease, donate to that. If they are outdoorsy people give to the arbor society. It is proper etiquette to donate.

I do like the suggestions of an upgrade on items you already have. New sheets, knives, pots and pans, etc. Even new decor and things you would love to have, but maybe not pick out yourself.

We used Amazon for "non-traditional" registry items. From that, we received: camping chairs, camping stove, a kayak, a small greenhouse, garden tools, flower pots, a Nest thermostat and integrated fire/CO alarms (best gift ever!), Kindles, photo frames, a weed-whacker, an extension ladder, a saw/drill set, and cat toys. The possibilities are endless!

Also for those of you who don't want to upgrade linens because you don't want to waste what you have, animal shelters are always looking for more towels/sheets/linen tablecloths! That way you're not throwing anything away, but actually helping a great cause!

I don't think I could ever accumulate all of the kitchen gadgets and upgraded home items I would ever want.

Lingerie showers are fun, but if this is a bridal shower where all yours and FH's female relatives will be invited and that's not their thing or you don't have the kind of relationship with them where you would be comfortable opening lingerie in front of them and receiving it from them, I don't think it's a viable replacement for a bridal shower. It's more in the bachelorette realm.

Recipe showers can be a good idea (or a good add on to any bridal shower).

Do you and FH have any shared hobbies? REI can do wedding registries and could be a good option if both you and FH enjoy outdoor activities together. Also, do you both enjoy games? You could have a board game shower and register for a bunch of games that you don't have and would like to add to your collection to stock your home with plenty of games to play together and with company.

I would love a Kitchen aid stand mixer with all the extra's.