Bridal shower and Bachelorette

If she doesn't want a bachelorette, please listen. There are a lot of stories on the forums of brides who didn't want pre-wedding parties, they were planned anyway and the brides and/or grooms were miserable because they didn't want to upset their family and friends over it. There are brides out there who truly do not want a bach party for one reason or another. I think if you want to do something for her, have a girls night the night before or two nights before the wedding playing games, doing nails, etc. It can be more of a calm stress free girls night

Bridal shower. If the brides mom or close female relative is in the picture, confirm with her if one is already being planned and offer to be a cohost if so. If not (or if you want to host your own), send a group text to the bridemaids that you are interested in hosting the bride a shower and if anyone else would like to contribute/cohost. If some say yes, ask how much they want to contribute and go from there. If no one offers, then you host it yourself

I agree with accepting the bride's opinion on whether or not she wants a party. She will likely not regret not having one, and even if she does, it's not for you to try to manage/prevent her hypothetical regrets in regard to her own wedding.

I would talk to the bride and give her some under 21 options you were thinking of for a bachelorette party if she still doesn't want one please listen to her. Its sweet of you to want your friend to have a great bridal experience but I wouldn't plan something she doesn't really want it could totally backfire.

I think that there could be lower key things that could be nice. You could do like a beach day or spa day or something to get pampered that wouldn't be like partying.