I was out to dinner with two of my bridesmaids and one brought up that my sister, maid of honor, had asked the other bridesmaids to contribute financially to the bridal shower. And that she thought it was absurd and didn’t think she should have to pay for anything because the brides family usually pays for shower but was willing to “be in charge of games.”
I was really taken aback because I paid for her whole shower myself when I was out of a job and despite asking none of the other bridesmaid contributed. I put out quite a bit of money for her bachelorette And of course, I purchased a dress and paid for a hotel for two nights for her wedding. And a few years later when she got pregnant, I threw her a baby shower because she’s my friend and it was important for me to celebrate her life events
One of the other bridesmaid, who as not present but was mentioned as having also felt she shouldn’t have to contribute , I also threw her a bridal shower and bachelorette and got minor contributions from the other bridesmaids but mostly paid.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter but I guess I’m just sad that, after showing up for their big days and spending hours carefully creating these special days, that it was such a big deal that my sister asked them to contribute (not pay for, not split evenly, just contribute) that they felt the need to come back to me. Money stuff is though and I get that but the way it was approached - ambushing me like that - it made me feel like they didn’t care at all. I feel like they could be honest with my sister about what they could contribute (if anything) instead of telling her my family should just pay for it all and then complaining about her to me.
I called my sister and offered to pay their parts because I feel bad that she will shoulder the burden because I know what the financial burden is (times 2).
I don’t even know if I have a specific question. If you have advice, please share. I think mostly I just need to share my sadness because the people I would normally share my sadness with are causing it. I wish they were as excited about being a part of my day as I was about being a part of theirs instead of complaining about my sister to me.
Of note, my dad just passed away and I know I might be being a bit more sensitive right now
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