Bridal Shower: Day before wedding?!

I think that could work out especially if you don't plan to have rehearsal dinner. It would be a lot more convenient if that way for everyone.

Thanks for the response Melle! Our rehearsal dinner is planned for Friday evening! But you’re right having bridal brunch/shower on Saturday would be more convenient since theoretically everyone should be in Philly at that point

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the response Melle! Our rehearsal dinner is planned for Friday evening! But you’re right having bridal brunch/shower on Saturday would be more convenient since theoretically everyone should be in Philly at that point

You don’t really plane your own shower cause it is a gift giving event that is for your bridal
party. The day before your wedding will be busy with a lot of last minute stuff. So planning everyone to meet for brunch then again a few hours later for rehearsal and dinner will be a lot.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your response! The only thing I’m involved in is picking the date and scouting the location. The rehearsal dinner is on Friday and the brunch would be on Saturday!

My Aunts are throwing my a bridal luncheon the day before the wedding. It will be a busy day, but like you most of our guests are traveling so it just makes sense to do it then. I will say this is a no-gifts event. I would feel a little weird having a traditional, gift receiving shower the day before the wedding but that’s just md

Usually people do not travel a great distance to a bridal shower. It is considered a minor party of the wedding. But if a bunch of people who want a shower, give one in their home area, it has always been the bride who tavels to the group, not the group to her. And it often means, two small showers far apart in distance. Both smaller.( Actually, easier on hostesses.) . . . . Shower gifts are a second gift, presented to the bride ( may be personal trouseau type, or her personal home activities things, or household, but not necessarily jointly used stuff.). . . And the wedding gift is sent or delivered, a bigger gift , for the use of the couple. . . . For that reason, the shower is only supposed to be for those who are the very closest friends and family of the bride. Not for rarely seen aunt's and cousins, not for friends of the groom's girlfriend's or wives, unless they are extremely close friends of the bride separate from their friendship with FI. And not for people who are friends of the parents, who are not people the bride would invite to her home without parents present, as they might family friends they visited and shared with all growing up, and have adult relationships with since leaving home. You do not ask ( as shower hostess) any wedding invitees, whom the bride would not call up and do something with, separate from families, boyfriend, or work things, to give what is a second gift. . . . And the other standard etiquette is, once people have gathered for a wedding or other invitation only event like a wedding, you do not hold any wedding related parties, except a rehearsal or RD for participants in the ceremony, that only includes some of those who are gathering for the wedding, the close women's friends, but excludes others. Long standing etiquette, like not holding tiered weddings, where people are likely to feel they are being labeled as second rate or second class, because some guest are invited and some not. . . This has always been the prohibition against showers wedding week or weekends, or while at a wedding destination . . . I thought that since I had friends doing a shower in N NH and another in Boston area, and MOG in NYC, small ones with no overlap in guest lists, that my aunt's wish to have a small one in the Catskills, where we were for a 3 day weekend for the wedding, just for my grandmother and aunts and a few F cousins traveling from Labrador, Greenland, Manitoba, and Finland and Denmark, would be fine. I mean, anyone else who might be close in relationship, be they friends or family, had been invited to at least one, even my bridesmaids, who gave none but were each an hour N, S, or W of MOG shower in NYC. . . .To my surprise, each of the older relatives auntie asked to participate, was horrified she would invite just them, to leave all the other guests at their Inn or resort motel, for a party the others were not coming to, a clearly wedding shower party. And a few aunts and an uncle proclaimed, how rude, once everyone has gathered. And I looked in several etiquette books, and found, be it US, Denmark, or Canada, generally it " is not done", like a tiered wedding. So, the grandmother's and aunts who wanted to give me the more personal gifts to the bride, did it 1:1 , like presents when your grandparents or aunt's visit not and not at a shower. . . In the end, you can do what you want. But know that lots of people may consider your family or friends hostessing the shower very bad mannered. People not invited. And some of those who are, who are leaving other gathered family members and their own SO or kids who are with them ( even if not attending the actual wedding) to attend a party for those elite and special closest friends and family of the bride. 🙂 It's a tough one. Practicality vs offending a whole lot of people. I will say that in the end, I really did enjoy the special half hour here and there where each if these few special older family took me aside, or asked me to their room, for a special present exchange. Personal, emotional exchanges of love, and their wisdom, without others crowding around. Other people seemed to respect that time as catching up with those closest to my heart who lived to far away for regular visits. And some people who might have gathered for the traveling person's shower, just gave a wedding gift sent before the wedding, or had two gifts delivered, one addressed to me personally, and the other to us as a couple.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your response yeah since a majority of those invited are out of state I think it’s the only thing that makes sense!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much for your response the bridal shower guest list is limited to close friends and family a majority of whom are out of state so to me a bridal shower (without gifts) makes sense to me logistically

Made sense to me, too, but I also understand why some not invited as close might be p o. Being aware and smoothing feelings is what matters, so it is not on any schedules or website where those not invited will see it, and either invite themselves also, or feel excluded. . . . My sister and now hub handled it differently. They married away from both US based families, near where they went to school. They paid a group fee ( actually, my parents did, since couple paid wedding themselves) for a local state park group use area, a section of lake beach with attached picnic area. And a building with a concession open to the public at the adjacent beach, and to tho renting the group use area. Pool tables, a miniature golf, and open card tables for 4somes and 2somes with available cards and games. Just made available at the same time as closest women relatives had their shower. Less close friends and relatives of ours, and men and kids of the women and kids who attended, and groom's side relatives, made great use of it family reunion style. Dad rented a couple of large grills, brought about 6 hibachis from home and self light charcoal. People who wanted to picnic stopped at a grocery or deli, stuff to cook or ready to eat. Low cost low key alternative. A few who had been sputtering, like MOG, shut up. And groom and my parents and his went to the picnic and swim area. . . I'd have been inclined to do this if relatives intended as guests, had not raised a worry about how others would feel left out of the shower. Sometimes it is nice for family traveling far to get some of their family reunion visits and chat out of the way before the wedding...🙂

Typically out of town guests don't go to the shower, which is fine. I'd have it earlier with in town guests. It seems like a lot of stress the day before with the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Out of town guests may not come in that early either. Only 3 of my 9 bridesmaids went to my shower since they were out of state.