Bridal shower dilemma

There’s no right or wrong here! My family lives in Texas and my husband’s live in California so we had two showers. We let the hosts plan each and not all of the bridesmaids could come but I didn’t expect them to! I would just let the host take the lead and whoever can come then great.

It sounds like you'd like a brunch one in DC, so I'd tell your MOH that so she can start planning & they can split up who is going to pay for the brunch, mimosa bar, etc. I wouldn't exclude your fiance's family, I would invite them and if they can't make it, at least they were included. If they really want a shower near them, they can host a separate couple's shower but I'm sure they will just go to the DC one or not at all. Only 3 of my 9 bridesmaids came to my shower, and two of those had to fly in for it. A ton of my family missed it because it was in CO (where I live) and most my family is in TX or CA.

My husband's family lives in NJ and my family lives in PA about 3 hours apart. We had my shower was in the middle so both parties drove about 1.5 hours. It wasn't any issue for anyone. It was a surprise so I didn't even know anything about it until it happened so I wasn't involved in the planning process. My sister-in-law who was also a bridesmaid handle most of it since she has been a bridesmaid 10+ times and knew how planning these things worked. The other bridesmaids, my mom and my mother-in-law helped with some stuff too. My mom paid for half of the venue and my sister-in-law paid for the other half. My mother-in-law made all of the desserts which included Oreo balls, cupcakes and cookies. One bridesmaid bought games other bought me a tiara and sash. Everything else my sister-in-law did which included hosting, sending out invitations, buying decorations, etc. If they can't work together to plan, the brunch sounds fun. However, you are still going to have to decide where to have it. Don't be like my brother-in-law's wife who had hers 8+ hours away from his family the weekend after our wedding. None of his side attended because it was the weekend after our wedding. They were going to drive the 8 hours, but they had already traveled for our wedding so the timing was not well planned.

You can still invite everyone you'd want and whomever can make it, will make it.