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Just Said Yes June 2022

Bridal Shower Etiquette

Jada, on January 11, 2021 at 6:53 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 14

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Hi all! So we are getting married in Bali on 6/22/2022 with only very close friends and family (30 guests total in which almost everyone is family). My MOH is planning my bridal shower and she plans on inviting guests that aren’t attending my wedding like some coworkers that I’m really close to, and other friends. Do you think it’s okay to invite people to the bridal shower that aren’t invited to the wedding since our wedding is very small?? We are also from Jersey so our wedding is 24hours away by flight. It’s just not realistic to invite those more distant people since it is such a far travel.

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Latest activity by Jada, on January 12, 2021 at 7:01 AM

Master July 2019
Hannah Online · on January 11, 2021 at 7:08 PM
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It's considered very gift grabby to invite people to a shower if they aren't invited to the wedding since whole purpose of the shower is to "shower the bride with gifts." If you want others there, I would switch the name to a luncheon and make no mention of gifts.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on January 11, 2021 at 7:13 PM
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I would recommend changing the name of the event.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on January 11, 2021 at 7:22 PM
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No the hostess (not the bride) can only invite those who are invited to the wedding.

It is common for houses of worship, coworkers, book clubs, etc to host a shower of their own completely separate from the main shower...because they want to share the bride's happiness and they are aware they will not be invited to the wedding. In that case, it is permitted, and it would be rude for the bride to turn it down.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on January 11, 2021 at 7:29 PM
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Personally, I don’t like the idea of inviting people to any pre-wedding events if they aren’t invited to the wedding. To me, not only is it a reminder that the invitee was snubbed and not invited to the wedding, but it also comes off as a gift grab.

Given you are getting married in Bali and the cost involved in attending the wedding, I would also be conscious of the nature of the pre-wedding events you (or your bridal party) hold. Not everyone gifts at all events but as someone who comes from a background where non-gifting is incredibly rude, being invited to a bridal shower (and sometimes the bachelorette too) on top of a wedding means that I will have spent a small fortune on gifts, let alone before factoring in any costs involved in merely attending the wedding. Just my humble opinion though.
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on January 11, 2021 at 7:31 PM
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I agree with the others- you’ll have to change the name of don’t invite them.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on January 11, 2021 at 7:35 PM
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I would imagine your coworkers will host their own shower for you separate from your MoH which is common.

There's no need to change the name of the event because they are showering you with gifts.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 11, 2021 at 8:07 PM
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No, it’s not okay to expect gifts from people that aren’t even invited to your wedding.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on January 11, 2021 at 8:11 PM
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Yeah, I agree with everyone else: don't invite people to a gift-giving party in honor of your wedding, if they aren't even invited to your wedding. It's irrelevant how far away you are getting married or that you are having a small wedding. Those are perfectly fine choices, but those choices mean you will also have a small shower.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on January 11, 2021 at 8:24 PM
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I agree with others. I wouldn't invite guests to a gift giving event like a shower if they aren't invited to the wedding.
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Savvy October 2021
Dana · on January 11, 2021 at 8:52 PM
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Usually that's not a good idea... Makes people feel obligated to gift and if they're not going to the wedding some can take it personally.
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Savvy June 2022
Jada · on January 12, 2021 at 5:14 AM
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Should have mentioned that we are NOT accepting any gifts throughout our entire wedding process.. none for the shower and obviously for the wedding since we are traveling. The bridal shower will simply be to eat, drink, celebrate and play games.
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Savvy June 2022
Jada · on January 12, 2021 at 5:16 AM
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Should have mentioned that we are not accepting any gifts throughout our wedding process since we are asking our guests to travel very far.. the same would be for the bridal shower! No gifts just celebration
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Master July 2019
Hannah Online · on January 12, 2021 at 7:00 AM
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Then I would 100% change the name. As I said previously, the purpose of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts." When people hear the phrase bridal shower, they equate it with a gift giving event. A bridal luncheon doesn't have that same connotation. Call it a luncheon and you'll be fine.
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Savvy June 2022
Jada · on January 12, 2021 at 7:01 AM
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Sure, thanks!
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Bridal Shower Etiquette

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