Bridal Shower Etiquette

You made it clear originally that it was your mom who thought it should have been MOH job. I was supporting what you felt: no it isn't. And though I see what you are saying, mom only wanted you to do the communication and location, but since those are the most visible jobs to guests, they make it look like you are planning and hosting for yourself. Happy to hear MOH can do that part, let your mom do the rest. . . My husband or I were in 6 out of state ( 500 Mike's plus) weddings 2-6 weeks before ours, and went to 3 others. (The spring summer fall of 17 weddings for us!). So though my mom was not hosting our wedding or anything, she did RSVP checks as they came in, master list, and called me with names of the 2 no reply people. And with three small showers, NH, Boston, NYC, in 4 weeks, and non wedding guest 3, two with 30 plus small gifts, like a spice, or honey, or measuring cups, but still thank you notes, I wrote over 280 thank you notes in 3 weeks, since I worked 4 ten hour days each week and was all wedding or 2 or 3 on weekends, other people's, and 2 showers I gave for others. . . So my Godmother/ Matron of Honor would take the manilla envelope of thank you letters or notes, and make out envelopes. And stamp and mail. But was careful, and though we hand addressed invitations, she machine printed envelopes, and my return address and town postmark. So people would not see, written by someone else, posted another town, and think I got other people to write my notes. Because like it or not, the first thing other people notice, is who is handling the communication. And people get really bad impressions that last and last if they think a person does something rude. For the host to hand off last communications on RSVP issues , or have it appear bride did not do own notes ( when I did) would have been noted and remembered. Which is why I cautioned you: to be aware, people will notice communication from you, and take that to mean, you gave a party for yourself. I did not say it to chastise you. Or make you feel bad. Just to alert you, stop, do something that will be better received. To this day, in a huge and spread out family and friend network, I still hear about major faux pass from weddings and baby things several years back. And hubby's 13 sisters or sisters-in-law could not gossip more, magnifying every little thing. I was the only one, not guests, not vendors, who messed up at my wedding, and people who did not attend, from family or friends, in 6 countries and all over US and Canada, all knew in a week or two. And a friend, who followed a philosophy of, all etiquette is outdated, I will do what I want, got ,7 etiquette books the Christmas after her wedding, one from her boss's wife. Ouch. Little things do not seem they should matter so much. But your wedding is opening night for your marital social life, and people watch with a smile on their face and very critical observations later.
Have a nice shower! Have MOH put a visible mark on everything mom doesn't.

I was a Bridesmaid and I did her Invitations; one of her other Bridesmaid purchased the Hall; the other 2 made the food. The Bride did bring her famous Mac and Cheese and we was not turning her down on that one along with the Cheese Ball. I do not think you should do the invitation it should be assigned but then again I did my own Save The Date and Formal Invitations only because I wanted a certain look. I am not doing a Bridal Shower and I do not know if my ladies have something up their sleeve. However, because my wedding is a destination wedding and they are unable to attend my co-workers are throwing me a Bridal Shower at work and they did the online invites and I told her who all I would like to attend.

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I understand where you’re coming from. I basically have to throw my own bridal shower because my MOH is not being very active in it. Here’s the story. When I had my engagement party back in April we talked about this. She agreed to have the shower at her house, host it all that stuff. I guess I’m an idiot because I really don’t know how these type of parties work. Never been to a bridal shower before, barely even went gone to weddings (2 in my lifetime). I agreed to help pay for food and decorations ( which I now know you’re not supposed to do that). I did the invitations and had them RSVP to my email. Like I said I’m an idiot. MOH is now acting like she doesn’t want to do it so basically I’m running it now. It’s still at her house but I’m footing the bill. Had I known it would be like that and I’m not supposed to be doing all this I wouldn’t have had it. It’s not a big deal to me. My other bridesmaids are no help either.

I'm organizing/planning my own bridal shower. I feel the whole have your bridesmaids/maid of honor do it all & pay for it is crap. It's my bridal shower. But I'm not all up on the "traditions". My mom & MIL have been huge helps though. So I am very blessed.

View Quoted Comment Aw thats not fair to you, sorry. I don’t expect much from my bridesmaids but at the very least I expect them to keep their word if they say they are going to do something for me. I agree with you I wouldn’t have had a shower either if I knew I would be stuck with the responsibility. This is why im not having an engagement party or a shower. Im already planning the wedding myself and not to sound like a bridezilla but if I have to be involved in planning or organizing anything else besides the wedding then I’d rather not have it at all. My aunty wants to throw me a bridal shower, after she “hosted” my baby shower & I had to do everything, im going to decline. And plus my 50yo aunty has a stripper pole in her living room! How embarrassing lol.