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Savvy June 2020

Bridal shower ettiquite

Rebekah, on January 10, 2020 at 8:30 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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Hi, engaged brides! I have a long line of women in my family, who live in South Carolina. The aunts (there are five) always throw a bride in our family a shower. I live in Virginia, but I visit frequently. A lot of my family isn't coming to the wedding because I live further away, so the shower would be the only time to celebrate with them. My wedding is in May, and none of my aunts have mentioned a shower. My mom thought they were hosting one, but then one of my aunts started chemo for cancer; she'll be done in a month. My question is should I ask if they are hosting one? My FMIL has asked a few times and said she'd throw one if they dont. But she lives in NC, and I really doubt anyone from my family would come. I'm not sure what the ettiquite is here because I don't want it to come across as if I'm asking for a shower. Help!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Sherry, on January 13, 2020 at 3:05 PM
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    I wouldn't ask myself because I feel like this would come off as rude. I would have my mother ask them if they are planning one.

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I agree with Alex. I would have my mom feel out the situation. If they don't plan one, I would see if your FMIL could do it in a more centrally located area. My sister/MOH, lives in India right now, I live in Houston, Texas, my family lived in central Texas (5 hours from me), and my friends live all over the place. Because Texas is such a huge state, my sister is planning to have the shower in Austin because it's the central location for everyone here.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If they were hosting one, they’d tell you. It’s rude to ask.
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  • Christine
    Expert September 2020
    Christine ·
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    I'd have your mom check in to see if they're planning on one.

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  • Jess
    Dedicated June 2022
    Jess ·
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    I agree with Christine, have your mom ask!

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  • Dayna
    Expert September 2021
    Dayna ·
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    If it turns out they are not hosting one and your FMIL offers instead, could she just host it in SC or somewhere that would be more convenient for your family to attend? It wouldn't be at her own house obviously but she could find a restaurant or venue to host it at.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I agree! Have your mom ask!

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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    I wouldn't ask. If they throw you one, great. If your FMIL wants to throw one then she can for whoever can attend. You can definitely have more than one.

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