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Lenard
Beginner October 2022

Bridal shower for after covid elopement wedding celebration( on 1 yr anniversary)

Lenard, on September 29, 2021 at 6:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18
A little background real quick:
My now husband and I have been together for almost 10 years as boyfriend and girlfriend. When we decided to get married we not only had A LOT of personal ( Legal ) matters going on but the delta variant of COVID was in full swing!! We decided to elope with our parents and siblings present, and everyone told us to just celebrate with a “ big wedding” next year ( 2022).

My sister in laws and my sister want to do a Bridal Shower. How would I go about inviting people to a bridal shower when we are already married?I know this situation is becoming common with COVID but how do I explain to people? It’s no secret we are already married. Im just so worried about what people may think.

18 Comments

Latest activity by CountryBride, on September 30, 2021 at 8:55 PM
  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Ehh, this is a tough one.

    Honestly, I would decline a shower personally. You're already married and it's inappropriate to have a bridal shower when you are already married. You will likely get gifts at your vow renewal/celebration of marriage next year.

    As an alternative option, would your sisters be open to doing a girls trip? Kind of like a "bachelorette" of sorts? That way you can still celebrate with your closest friends but it wouldn't be a gift-giving event?

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with this. One of the things you forfeit by eloping is pre wedding parties including showers.
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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    Agree with this 100%.
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I'm gonna be the oddball out I guess. Girl have your bridal shower! I don't think it has to be forfeited because you for married during Covid - MANY BRIDES ARE DOING THIS. You can still have a bridal shower & those who want to celebrate you will come. I think it can still be called a bridal shower 🤷🏾‍♀️
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  • Lenard
    Beginner October 2022
    Lenard ·
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    Thank you! This has really had me stressed out.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    You had a covid wedding. It was very small. Just have the bridal shower if you want it since you're doing a bigger thing later. Just call it a bridal shower and follow all the ordinary etiquette rules.


    I'd be side eying a bridal shower if you had a full blown wedding, then had a bridal shower, then had a full blown vow renewal because you'd be asking an overlap of guests to gift you 3 times. This is not such a case
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated October 2021
    Jessica ·
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    Yeah, I disagree with the first few posters. I got married October 2, 2020 and had a bridal shower in May in advance of my upcoming vow renewal/big wedding. Perhaps some people declined because I was “already married,” but the vast majority of people were excited to celebrate me (as I have celebrated my friends at their showers, bachelorettes, and weddings). My sister (maid of honor) and mom were adamant about doing it and it turned out to be a nice day. If you want one/your family and friends want to throw one, I’d say go for it. We were also 100% open about already being married.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I would consider declining the shower. That does seem a bit odd considering you're married. Congrats btw!

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    I have to agree with this.

    We postponed our wedding by one year and are now downsizing our wedding (we went from a big soiree with 160+ people to planning a small sit down dinner with 45 people) and personally, if I or someone else were to throw a bridal shower after the fact, I wouldn't feel very comfortable as it would feel gift grabby to me.

    I do agree with the alternative suggested which is to do a bachelorette party - while also considered a pre-wedding event, given no gifts are given at this event, it may be a bit more appropriate and still gives your SILs something to plan if they want to.

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  • A
    Expert September 2022
    Allie ·
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    I totally agree with Jessica. I say go for it!!! For those who say it's gift-grabby, I totally (and respectfully) disagree....if this would be gift-grabby, so would every bridal/baby/occasion shower.

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    It’s gift grabby because OP is already married, and therefore no longer a bride. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a celebration of marriage or vow renewal of giving gifts at that event but in this case there is no bride, she is already a wife.


    Look, COVID sucks. It has impacted everyone. I went through my first pregnancy last year and had to have a scaled down baby shower. It wasn’t what I wanted but I understood the circumstances and was so grateful to have gad a shower thrown for me at all. I am not going to do a “do-over baby shower” because I couldn’t have the big blowout I wanted. I get the covid was a thing and in my personal opinion if the wedding wasn’t delayed, there are things that get forfeited like a shower.
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  • A
    Expert September 2022
    Allie ·
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    I respect your opinion! I didn't direct my comment to anyone in particular - just the perspective in general.

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  • Sarah
    Savvy October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    I eloped in 2020 with only our parents to witness. We postponed everything - the bachelorette party and the big wedding to 2021. I just had my bachelorette party a few weeks ago after being married nearly a year. It was fun and didn’t feel weird at all. My friends and I just joked that we were going to pretend I wasn’t married yet. I didn’t do a bridal shower but I say go for it!! Especially since you haven’t had your big wedding celebration yet.
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    Wholeheartedly disagree with this. Covid brides still deserve to have all of the special days that "normal" brides do. They didn't choose to have to deal with this. You got to have a baby shower, albeit smaller than you would have liked. Some people were in the position last year where that couldn't happen. Some people were in the position where they couldn't just postpone everything a year. That's not necessarily a "choice". So if someone now wants to host a shower now that things have calmed down, what's the big deal? Because a peice of paper has already been signed? All brides deserve to celebrate with family and friends.
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  • A
    Expert September 2022
    Allie ·
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    OP, you could call it a wedding shower instead of a bridal shower! You are inviting guests to the celebration this time around, and you/your partner/your marriage still deserve to be celebrated! Smiley smile

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  • Lenard
    Beginner October 2022
    Lenard ·
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    Thank you Allie! I was thinking of how I could reword it to where it was more suited. Thanks!!!!!
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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Op is celebrating. Next year at her vow renewal. I offered a suitable alternative where it wouldn’t be viewed as rude.


    Op, at the end of the day you can obviously do what you want. Just don’t be disappointed if people decide not to attend. Best of luck with your vow renewal!
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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    I would decline a shower it could send the wrong vibes
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