Bridal Shower for small destination wedding?

No, it is not appropriate. Only those invited to wedding should be invited to pre-wedding events.

Any prewedding event where gift giving is common should be reserved only for those invited to the actual wedding.

View Quoted Comment Reminder: we will be having a celebration at home but the ceremony itself will be small as it is out of state

View Quoted Comment I understand, but unfortunately it is still not appropriate. Although I’m sure your intentions are good, doing this conveys to your guests that they were not important enough to invite to your wedding, but they are good enough to bring you a gift. It comes off as greedy/gift grabby. Best to follow proper etiquette and only invite to the shower those who are invited to the ceremony. You will get to celebrate with everybody else at your later reception.

I actually have a different opinion than prior posters. I think, if someone is invited to the local reception, you are still hosting them there (even though it's not the original ceremony). I wouldn't think twice about being invited to a pre-wedding event (shower, etc) as long as I was invited to the local reception! Of course, if I was invited to neither, or if there were no local reception, my answer would change. But, in my opinion, I would encourage you to go ahead!

Only those invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Unfortunately that is the sacrifice you make regarding pre-wedding events when you have a smaller guest list.

View Quoted Comment They are not invited to the ceremony which is the wedding the other posters are referring to. A celebration party can be held for anything at any time but those guests are not the VIPs invited to the main event on the original date. The confusion lies in the new trend of a reception held on a different date when weddings used to be ceremony and reception all in one on one single date. A reception only invite does not equal a shower invite.

Not appropriate. Only those invited to the actual wedding should be invited to pre-wedding events. Otherwise it comes across as a gift-grab. If I were invited to a shower but not to a couple's destination wedding (regardless of whether or not there was another celebration at home), I would assume the couple just wanted more gifts. 50 guests is also a very nice size; I wouldn't consider this number to be intimate.

Yep agree with the other posters. It's not polite to ask people excluded from the "main event" to give you gifts for your shower. It comes off as gift grabby. Just invite the group that were important enough to be invited to the actual destination wedding.

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Thank you for your message! My opinion remains unchanged, but I respect your opinion, just as you hopefully respect mine!

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I actually fully agree with you. I think the idea of needing to be there for paper signing is really silly especially with COVID completely changing the dynamics of weddings. As long as I was invited to some form of celebration for the wedding I would happily attend pre-wedding events. Especially if I knew the ceremony was going to be intimate. Even a local elopement I would still want to help celebrate the bride if they were someone I cared about.

I will have actually been legally married for almost a year by the time we have my bridal shower and bachelorette, and over a year by the time we have the wedding. Only my husband's best man and his wife will have attended our paper signing. No one has had any issue, and most people in my friend group have handled their marriages this way even prior to COVID.

Personally, I wouldn't be put out by it since I enjoy celebrating other people's happy moments, and the last 2 years have required people to be more understanding and flexible. Obviously, that isn't the case for everyone, so it may be the safe choice to forgo inviting anyone not invited to the wedding to avoid stepping on toes. You could throw an engagement party that's strictly just to celebrate. I'd also imagine anyone attending only the local reception would also consider bringing a gift to that event as well.

I would not invite them to the shower because then you would be obligated to throw the local party. You may find planning one wedding/ party is financially and emotionally enough. Some WW couples have cancelled their multiple stages because they were tired. Also, i would consider 50 a large number for destination, and some may feel slighted to be ranked as a secondary guest. A shower invite would be salt in the wound.