Bridal shower help !

Hi Haylie! Here's my take on all of your questions!

How many games do you plan on doing at your shower? What kind of games ? And how many prizes/what kind of prizes for each game? We haven't planned on doing games for ours, but I've seen the classic ones like the shoe game, guess the dress, what's in my purse, who said/did what first? At all of the showers I've been to, they didn't give out prizes, it was just a fun activity for everyone!

How long do you plan on the shower lasting? For our couple's shower with friends, we plan on having it last 4 hours on the invite, but are pretty sure people will stay long after that. The same goes for our family couple's shower.

Desserts aside, what kind of actual food do you plan on serving? I love pimento cheese, so having that as a dip would be a must! Chips, various dips, charcuterie boards are a big crowd pleaser as well! You could also go with a theme, like 'I Do BBQ' and serve bbq! Finger sandwiches and finger foods are also easy.

Any tips for being awkward while opening gifts in front of so many people of you and your fiancé are on the shyer side? You don't have to open gifts in front of people if you don't want to! If it makes you uncomfortable doing this, it's perfectly fine to skip it! Either way, make sure you have someone writing down who gifted what, that way it's easier when you get ready to write thank you cards!

Extra Advice: Make sure that if you have alcoholic bevs. that you also have non-alcoholic options! Have plenty of plates and napkins for food because guests go through them quick! Have enough seating as well. If you aren't sure what type of wine you want to have at your wedding, a fun idea is to have a blind wine tasting station at your shower. Guests taste each wine and vote for what they like the best, and you can tally the votes at the end of the day to see which ones your guests liked the most! If you do favors such as cookies, make sure they're placed somewhere with high traffic by the exit door) so that your guests will see them and take one! Most importantly, HAVE FUN and enjoy being celebrated! I can't wait till we have ours!!!

View Quoted Comment The “ I do BQQ” sounds super cute, and I know everyone would love charcuterie boards !
I guess it never crossed my mind that other people don’t do prizes ! Most of the ones I’ve been to have done it, but I suppose things are a little different everywhere !
I’ve seen a previous forum about how opting to not open gifts in front of everyone is considered rude, and I definitely don’t want to upset anyone. Maybe I’ll do more research on this and see how we feel. Thank you so much !

View Quoted Comment

The only one I went to that did prizes was a baby shower! They did little gifts like gift cards, so that's always an idea!

I feel like opening gifts and considering it rude is kinda personal preference. You could always ask friends and family what they think about it and go from there!

How many games do you plan on doing at your shower ? What kind of games ? And how many prizes/what kind of prizes for each game?

- at my shower we had some games that weren't interactive such as each guest writing down their guess for how many candies were in a jar [and then they win that as their prize whoever was closest] so in total i probably had like 5 games because two of them weren't interactive. i would plan a prize for every game you have.

How long do you plan on the shower lasting ?

- mine started at 2p and ended at around 5p
Desserts aside, what kind of actual food do you plan on serving ?

- this goes with a theme, i feel! mine was afternoon tea so i had finger sandwiches and smaller things that can be eaten by hand

Any showers, given and attended, and the usual max is 2:30 -3 hours, plus set up and clean-up.
Sometimes family groups will gather for a cookout or picnic, and dads and kids disappear during the shower time if the venue is a cottage or beach front picnic area. Usually between meals you serve desserts, coffee, light fare ( fruit salad, melon chunks or scoops, pineapple.)
If you cross lunch time 2 hours or 5-7 you are expected to serve a complete meal for all. Showers are a minor party of the wedding, and are not meant to compete with the reception or even be half of one. On shower day, look at your gifts. Sometimes many or most are group gifts, 2-5 sharing lots, then individual ones. So there may only be 10- 14 gifts. Others, 5-10 not at the shower may have asked their mailed gift will be opened there. And you will have 45 gifts. Allow 3 minutes per gift and 1 per gift card, which may be a picture of something mailed to their home. Things that really offend a lot of people : getting to the gift opening more than a half hour into a non-meal shower. Not opening gifts.Because many giests spent time and mo eyon wrapping and want the bride to see it, there are complaints if others unwrap the gifts to save time. It is not worth up setting people to save 10-20 seconds each. just have scissors, knives, some one to list the gifts, and tape handy for taping gift cards to the item. If you look at a d talk to every gift giver, how er briefly, about 2 hours of gift un -wrapping flies. Yhen suddenly e eryone jad enough. If your guest list gets up to 60, consider splitting the list to two showers. 3 hours of present opening is deadly. To do one at two different times, or since you have the venue, a light luncheon 11-1:30 and a dessert and coffee with all different hosts and guests at 2:30, works better than one big shower opening 60-70 gifts and taking 3.5 hours straight of presents. If few shower games are played, or most are played near the end, okay. But people came for the present opening.

Mine lasted around 2 hours, a full meal was served, we played 2 games, prizes were Starbucks gift cards, my husband joined for opening the gifts and it wasn't awkward at all. Are you asking these questions because you're planning a shower for someone else? If you're the bride and you're talking about your shower, then you should sit back and relax and let the hosts take care of everything!

Same question as PP... Are you going to be the host of someone else's shower, or are you planning a bridal shower for yourself? If this is for your shower, then you don't need to worry about any of these details. The host of the shower is supposed to take care of all of the details, such as venue, invitations, menu, dessert, games, prizes, etc. All you need to do is provide a guest list, show up, open your gifts at the shower, and have fun. It's considered to be in poor taste for a bride to plan her own bridal shower anyway.

Assuming you are the beide, you are not involved in any planning beyond providing a list of your innermost social circle who is local, the dates you are available, and where you are registered because a shower is for physical gifts only. The hosts will worry about the rest.

View Quoted Comment I am the bride but all across both sides of our families, everyone just kind of plans their own thing so for me to expect someone else to host and plan the shower for me wouldnt sit well and would come across as “bridezilla”ish, if that makes any sense ? I don’t mind planning it, I actually think it’s super fun and I can make it how I want ! I’ve noticed that expectations are different depending on where you are or what your family does so I don’t mind planning it at all

View Quoted Comment I am the bride but all across both sides of our families and where we are from, everyone just kind of plans their own thing so for me to expect someone else to host and plan the shower for me wouldnt sit well and would come across as “bridezilla”ish, if that makes any sense ? I don’t mind planning it, I actually think it’s super fun and I can make it how I want ! I’ve noticed that expectations are different depending on where you are or what your family does so I don’t mind planning it at all

View Quoted Comment I am the bride but all across both sides of our families and where we are from, everyone just kind of plans their own thing so for me to expect someone else to host and plan the shower for me wouldnt sit well and would come across as “bridezilla”ish, if that makes any sense ? I don’t mind planning it, I actually think it’s super fun and I can make it how I want ! I’ve noticed that expectations are different depending on where you are or what your family does so I don’t mind planning it at all

View Quoted Comment

Regional or not, it's considered impolite and gift grabby to host and reiterated by Emily Post and Miss Manners who wrote all the etiquette books. As etiquette, it's not something you can make your own rules with depending on your area, social cirlce, etc to change at will, unlike tradition. Just let other people plan it, while you show up and have fun.

View Quoted Comment I don’t find it that way at all, every shower I’ve been to , the bride did most of the planning ( aside from help from bridesmaids and family). Never once did it cross my mind that it seems “gift grabby “ and I’ve never heard anyone say this before. It’s my wedding that I’m paying and planning for myself. It’s no one else’s responsibility to do anything for me and I would never ask or expect someone to offer to put in all this work for me or my fiancé when it’s something that we chose to do. Of course my bridesmaids and family are helping , and will play host day of, but I don’t see why I can’t plan out some of my shower if that’s what it is- MY shower.

View Quoted Comment

Oh wow, that's definitely different! I'm from New York, my fiance is from California, we currently live in Atlanta, and I have to say I've never heard of a bride planning her own shower before. I'm very curious where you and your fiance are from, lol

View Quoted Comment We live in Indiana right by Chicago. And it’s not like bridesmaids and family don’t help but I only know of very few brides who just let their host do everything. I guess others think this is completely rude but I had no clue that it would be looked on like that. I just figured that everyone kinda does stuff how they want so I really don’t know how to feel about it now 😅

I just sat down with my aunt and talked about these things:

1. The biggest thing that I stressed is that I did not want to open gifts in front of everyone. I think it's super awkward and if you aren't excited about a gift someone got you, you don't want to seem ungrateful.

2. As far as food we're doing a tea party theme, so sandwiches and small plated items.

3. Because of COVID and Southern Cali not being as open as other places, I'm hoping it will only last 2-3 hrs max.

4. Small strawberry cake with a lemon icing

I personally hate games, so we didn’t have any! My shower was co-Ed and three hours long (2 pm - 5 pm). People just mingled and chatted.


We did not open gifts at all. I honestly don’t know anyone who really enjoys this part of showers! We opened gifts at home and wrote thoughtful, personalized thank you cards.
We had some passed apps—bacon wrapped scallops and a few other things. We also had a raw bar with oysters and shrimp cocktail, and then a hot buffet with pasta, flatbread and chicken. Dessert was donuts!