Bridal Shower Help/intimate wedding

Maybe your friend doesn’t know the etiquette. I would tell her that you don’t feel comfortable inviting people who aren’t invited to the wedding.

A shower was hosted for me despite having an original guest list of only 17 people. We called ours a "Farewell to the Bride to Be." None of these ladies were invited to the wedding because we were supposed to be making a major move across country, starting my masters program, all while my fiance gets ready for deployment. I will tell you that no one had a problem with this and we had 30 amazing women who showed up to give their support. So ask yourself, why the intimate wedding? Is it for financial reasons, reasons like above, or even other reasons that hold validity. If she truly just hates these people, then no, don't have a shower. But I do not believe a bride shouldn't be told she can't celebrate like a bride because of circumstances that may be outside her control such as moving for a spouse, time restrictions because of work or school, and financial restrictions. I get invited to divorce parties, baby showers for a 5th kid, bridal showers for a 4th marriage. Let people celebrate. Period. If someone doesn't want to attend then they can make that choice.

It's good of you to think about this, page, your friend might not know the etiquette rule. Personally I had a surprise shower thrown for me that included people who had not been on my wedding guest list and while I really appreciated their attendance I did have to scramble to add them to my wedding guest list. I'd just check with your friend to make sure she knows this rule, and go with whatever she wants.