So a bit of context. I got married back in the fall of 2020. Due to the world going through a pandemic, my now husband and I decided to hold off on a lot of extra events that lead up to the wedding. This included an engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelor party. I was able to have a small sleep over at my in-laws with just my bridesmaids that we counted as a bachelorette party.
When going through wedding planning my Maid of Honor asked if I still wanted to have a bridal shower even if it was after my wedding. I said yes and asked her to include my mom in the planning process. I knew my mom really wanted to have one and be involved since she was being hands off with wedding planning. My MoH suggested that after the wedding instead of a traditional shower we could do a bridal brunch and in lieu of the typical house gifts people could contribute to a honeymoon fund. I loved the idea and gave her the go ahead to plan with the rest of the bridesmaids. I told my mom and she loved the idea.
Fall arrived and we were able to have a beautiful outdoor wedding with no hiccups. One of my bridesmaids got engaged and asked me to be in her wedding. My husband and I decided to not plan a honeymoon since we still do not feel comfortable with traveling overseas. Overall, we are grateful to have been able to have a wedding knowing so many couples had their plans altered or even canceled.
Fast forward to now, 1.5 years after the wedding and I still haven’t heard a single word about the brunch. In the last year I planned a bridal shower for the bridesmaid who got engaged and she has now gotten married. Additionally two of my other bridesmaids have gotten engaged and I am currently planning one of their showers as well. While planning I can’t help but feel sad I didn’t even have the opportunity to have a shower.
I understand I am well past my wedding day, but a pandemic is a good reason to postpone a get together. I don’t care about getting gifts or money. I wanted the cheesy games, laughing at funny pictures, family members from both sides socializing, you know just people being happy to celebrate. My mom has asked me a few times if they are still going to have something and I told her I have no idea and to contact my MoH. Honestly, I think they forgot. I wanted it to be a surprise so I didn’t press for any details, but in doing so I dropped the ball of encouraging it.
Now, I am in the middle of planning my friends shower. I look at all the exciting things I want to do for her and I am really happy to be able to do this for her, but every now and then I feel a little bummed. I love planning parties and celebrations for my friends and family, but the fact that no one wants to do the same for me feels disheartening. I understand this is a completely privileged and selfish thing. I don’t know why it is affecting my so much. Is it FOMO? Should I just suck it up and come to terms? Not everyone gets what they want and I am no exception.
I brought up how I felt to my husband because he also never had a bachelor party. He mentioned how he was also pretty bummed and thought of throwing one for himself. I am afraid to bring it up as to appear entitled and looking for gifts. Plus, I don’t want to intrude on my friends lives over something from years ago. My husband’s groomsmen are now planning his belated bachelors party. So maybe it isn’t too late. I really do not know what to do.
