Bridal shower question

I personally wouldn’t attend a shower where the couple was just looking for money. We already give substantial monetary gifts for the wedding so the part of the shower that’s fun for me as a guest is seeing all the new stuff the bride/couple gets for their home.

Showers are for physical gifts, not to raise money for a vacation. If you don’t want gifts, you should decline the offer for a shower.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for putting in your input! We are very fortunate to already have a beautiful home and all the great things that go along with a beautiful home so for us to register for stuff for our home would be a huge waste for us and we would rather everyone’s money go towards something useful for us.

View Quoted Comment We’re not in anyway trying to “raise money for a vacation” we just figured it was a good alternative rather than gifts. We are also going to include on the invitation that a gift is not necessary, but figured we would give people an option Incase they wanted to attribute somehow.

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Unfortunately showers are generally for gifts and most people will not understand or think it's tacky to gift money.

I would decline the shower. Or have a shower with no gifts (physical or monetary). For the wedding don't have a registry or set up a honeymoon fund online.

I get where you are coming from. We didn't need a bunch of things, but rather saw it as an opportunity for "upgrades."

As a guest, I would probably feel less obligated/interested to attend. I get that spending $50 or whatever is still spending $50, but it just seems money hungry. Also, if everyone is giving money, what is there to do at the shower other than eat?

I would do a honeymoon themed shower where people give beach towels, tote bags, etc. or a stock the bar or recipe shower. I would find a monetary shower strange.

I agree with PPs, we are using our registry to “upgrade” home items. We also live together and are all set, but can always use newer housewares. Honeymoon funds are more for wedding gifts. The point of a bridal shower is to open gifts, so if you don’t register then there really isn’t a point in having one. People may gift money at the wedding, but for a shower, not likely.

How about Mr & Mrs gifts? me and my FH have our own home also and everything we need. House gifts seem more like house warming gifts to me so I made a registry on Etsy and option for Mrs. Lewis essentials, Mr&Mrs passport covers and just a bunch of Mrs. personalized stuff! After all a BRIDAL SHOWER is normally female only and for the bride while a WEDDING SHOWER is for both of y’all, male and female. Here are some pictures of a few items I added to my Bridal shower registry to give you an idea..

View Quoted Comment I like your idea with the honeymoon theme shower!! Essentials for honeymoon! I’m doing something similar to this!

You could always register for more “expensive” items that people could do for a group gift. Like new luggage sets, a margaritaville machine (seriously, these things are awesome), patio set, etc. Nothing is really off limits on a registry IMO

I agree with others that I would find it off-putting to be told to give a cash gift for a shower -- and even more so to be directed to call a travel agent and put money toward a trip. In our extended family there would definitely be some major eye-rolling regarding this approach. If you weren't someone like my niece, for whom I'd feel obligated to attend, I'd decline the invitation. (And, even if I came, I'd almost certainly purchase a tangible gift.) If you don't need or want gifts, personally, I'd decline the shower. I know you said you've already decided to take this approach, but you also asked for thoughts.

I wouldn't gift money at a shower, it seems weird to me. If the bride didn't have a physical gift registry, I'd probably just buy something I think they would like or a standard gift (personalized cutting board, wine glasses, etc.).

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If you have literally everything you already need, why have a shower? People will bring gifts (mostly likely of money) to the wedding. You can definitely use that money for your honeymoon. Why have an additional event to ask for more money?

Ive been to bridal showers where gifts weren't opened at all! Its okay to not opt for gifts. Instead during that time in the shower, opt for more games and activities. I think honeymoon fund is a great idea, and was looking into it myself.