Bridal shower turnout--should i be upset?

I would not be upset since this is a busy time of year and not everyone will attend a shower who is invited. I don't think it is customary to send a gift to a shower that you aren't attending, usually weddings, but showers are an optional thing. A shower is also supposed to be your nearest and dearest.

That's a good turnout considering you invited so many OOT people and some who may not know you well.

If guests can't attend, they aren't required to send you a gift.

While I understand that it’s disappointing, a lot of people just aren’t that into going to showers. And when it’s not your own, I think it’s easy to overlook the fact that they are a big deal to some.
As for the gifts, the biggest reason why I would decline a shower invitation would be because I can’t afford a gift at the moment. Unless it was someone super close to me I honestly wouldn’t think to send anything.
And quite honestly, I likely would decline for a distant relative or a friend’s wife. Nothing personal against those people, just not a priority for me unfortunately if they are my nearest and dearest.

I Dont think you should be upset. I a lot of ppl some prioritize showers.

I've never heard of sending a gift if you can't make it to a bridal shower. Even if you can't make it to the wedding a gift is not expected.

The only time i send a gift for a shower i dont attend os a baby shower .. especally sincw your an older bride as you said .. you probably have everything tou need ..

That seems like a good turnout considering you invited all female guests, most people who are wives of friends or distant relatives won’t prioritize bringing someone a gift they don’t know that well.

and no I’ve honestly never heard of sending a bridal shower gift if they didn’t come to it. I’ve declined some bridal showers and never sent gifts, those who declined my shower didn’t send gifts nor was I expecting it.

theres no reason for you to be upset. Just enjoy the company of who did show up.

The guest list for the shower never should have included all the female wedding guests in the first place. Shower are supposed to be for your nearest and dearest. Why would the wife or girlfriend of one of your FH's friends think it was an honor to be asked to give you an extra gift?

It is not customary to send a card or gift if you do not plan to attend a shower. It is nice, but by no means required.

Appreciate the guests who did come and the gifts you did receive, rather than spend time and energy analyzing why others did not attend.

I agree with pps.

Showers are supposed to be nearest and dearest, not necessarily every female guest. I would not go to a shower for someone I did not know well, nor would I travel for one unless it was my best friend or sibling, and even then there would be limits. Sounds like most of your declines were the people you aren't as close with or had to travel, which makes perfect sense.

No one is required to send a gift when they decline a shower invite, or a wedding invite for that matter. Do some people choose to do so? Yes, but it is absolutely not required.

- I wouldn’t be upset. It sounds like you invited a lot of people you’re not close with. I think showers should be for close family and friends only, not every wedding guest and it sounds like that’s who came. I invited only close friends and family, out of 22 guests, I had almost 100% attendance. Only three girls missed it, two were out of state and I knew they wouldn’t be able to make it but the host sent them an invite so they would know they weren’t forgotten - they were BMs. I’ve been invited to a shower for a distant cousin’s bride (they invited every female on the guest list). Personally, I would have felt uncomfortable. I didn’t know her, her friends, family, anyone on the guest list. I didn’t go.

- No. A bridal shower is not a summons to send a gift card or a present if you can’t attend. It’s certainly a nice gesture but not required.

I only had 6 people at my bridal shower... It was great! 15 is a large turnout in my opinion. And I agree, I have never heard of sending a shower gift if you didn't attend.

I understand you are disappointed, I always send a shower gift if I can't attend whether it be bridal or baby so I hear you on that aspect. But as far as the guest list, I would be happy with whoever came and like you said you had an amazing time. Is it more about the gifts you didn't receive or that people could not come?