Bridal Shower Without Gifts?

The purpose of a shower is to “shower” the bride or couple with gifts. If you don’t want gifts, you don’t have a shower.

Not even to celebrate or play games? I know it's very "against tradition," but seems a bit silly if a shower is only about presents. I care more about spending time and celebrating than the material things.

View Quoted Comment You are 100% right. That is the reason for a shower. Maybe she can have a bridal reception?

If someone is offering to host a shower for you (this isn’t something you should ever host yourself), you could suggest just doing a luncheon or a themed shower (recipe, wine, etc).

View Quoted Comment People are going to bring gifts to a shower. If you want to have one, you should register. Otherwise you might just get a bunch of stuff you don’t want or need. You can ask the hostess to do a themed party like a recipe shower or a stock the bar party, for your own home bar, not the wedding. You could also consider registering for alternative items like camping gear.

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Absolutely. My mother and FMIL are trying to throw one, but I mentioned the backlash I've seen online about it and don't want to come off as rude or tacky. I guess we can essentially do the same thing and just not call it a bridal shower?

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That's true. That is something to consider. We would never use camping gear and there is quite literally nothing that I would even add to registry, because it's not necessary right now. I would hate for people to waste their money on something I won't even use. The stock the bar one is a really neat idea, though, thank you.

They can maybe word the invite something like “join us as we shower Cheyenne with love and good wishes” and maybe a note on the back “the bride would prefer only your presence, rather than your presents” something like that to let people know gifts aren’t necessary and then most likely you’ll get just small/fun gift instead of the usual pots/pans etc

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, it fact, Korean tradition, guests bring money and put them in provided envelopes... my fiancé and I are doing the same, and we made a polite sign that says to please contribute what you wish to our honeymoon fund. If people still end up bring gifts, we’re not going to turn them down, obviously. When people ask where we’re registered, we provide the link to our honeymoon fund that people can use PayPal/credit card to contribute to.

View Quoted Comment I think that’s a great idea! Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment I’m glad to hear that it’s deemed okay from others and other cultures. That helps, thank you!

We are doing an engagement bbq this summer instead of a shower.

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We are getting married this May and didn't do an engagement party, but I feel like it's a little late to do now lol. But I considered maybe just calling it an engagement party.

I like the idea of just saying to shower me with love and wishes. I want people to know that I want them to celebrate with me and that I don't care about gifts. I'd much rather have the love and support rather than stuff I won't ever use.

View Quoted Comment That’s how we feel too. And maybe you could state that in the invites.

Bridal Showers AREN'T just for gift!! You are showering the bride with love, care, advice, and support. If you want this time with your family, PLEASE HAVE IT! Hopefully, this is will your only marriage, so this will be your only time to have the shower. Now, if in the invites you want to word it a particular to encourage monetary gifts or none at all, then do just that.

You absolutely can have a shower without gifts. A shower does not have to be about getting pots and pans and money. It’s simply a time to celebrate the bride. My sister got married last year and didn’t want gifts. Instead we did a Christmas in July theme, asked people to bring (completely voluntary) donations for toys for tots, and had each guest write a letter to my sister with memories or advice and leave it in Santa’s mailbox. It was great for her to have a time to get together with family and friends (and I loved not having to sit through an hour of gift unwrapping!). Gifts or no gifts you do what you want!

We're not registered anywhere either; but my MOH and mom are still throwing me a shower. I asked if I needed to register for it and my MOH told me no so I'm not sure what she's telling the guests to bring, if anything.

I don't want to have a shower just for gifts nor do I think we should have to have a different name for it if you're not requesting gifts. I'm completely having with just enjoying some girl time. I agree with what Soon2BSmith said!

To me, the whole point of a shower is to get physical gifts. I've been to 10 weddings over the past 5 years, almost all of them lived together and all had registries besides 1. We own a home together and still have a registry, so I'm having a shower. If you want a shower, I'd just have the host call it a bridal party or something other than "shower" and put a note on the bottom you don't want any gifts.

Lol. You’re not going to last long around here if that’s how you plan to speak to people. The OP asked for opinions (this is an advice and etiquette forum right?) and I provided mine. Have a great day and happy planning!

View Quoted Comment Key words being : TO YOU the point of a shower is for physical gifts. A shower can be whatever the bride wants it to be. If she wants to spend time talking, mingling, play games and discussing the wedding with friends and family, then she can. I think that is fantastic. You can “shower” someone with things other than gifts. If a bridal shower was simply meant for gifts then I'm sure they would have called it a bridal gift shower. I’ve met a lot of people like you that have everything they need, but still ask for gifts because they want “new” and “improved” stuff and they feel as though they are entitled to it because “thats what happens at a shower”.... okay, well its not 1950 anymore, you don’t need help getting started out as a couple. It is a HUGE waste for people to buy you gifts that you don't need!! At the very least I hope all the crap you are replacing with new versions, goes to charity for someone who actually needs it. Not to mention it is a lot of pressure for your guests to get you an engagement gift, a bridal shower gift, sometimes a bachelorette gift, and then a wedding gift! A lot of people cant afford all that. If you don't NEED the stuff, be respectful. If you just want it or think you deserve it, then thats pretty sad.