Bridal Shower

Well are you wanting gifts or just a celebration A little against tradition but my MOH agreed to host a bridal brunch (I am not doing a registry) but no gifts expected. Just wanna celebrate with my friends and they want to as well. Have you mentioned to them casually you would like one? Can your mom or MIL throw you one?

Unfortunately there isn't really a nice way to ask. These events generally only happen if someone offers to host.

Veronica is right. When we first got engaged and started planning my cousin offered to host a shower, but between work schedules and Covid a date was never set. I’m disappointed because I wanted to celebrate with friends and family, but it is what it is. Asking for a shower is considered rude, if someone wants to throw one they will do it without hints, but trying to subtly hint that you want a shower is the same as outright asking for one. Showers can cost the host a good amount of money and time in planning, it’s absolutely not something that should be expected.

This is a great topic. I’ve told my future mother in law & my sister (Who’s my MOH) what I wanted for my bachelorette party. I want an evening of painting, a nice dinner & a lingerie party with my best girls! Absolutely no bar scene though! Planning it a few days before the wedding- I figure by then I’m gonna want a relaxing evening.

It’s not about the gifts, I would just really like to have a simple afternoon to get together before the wedding with those close to us. I’m not looking for anything over the top but since some guests have asked me I just need to know what to tell them and how to not sound rude towards my bridesmaids asking about it

There isn’t a polite way to ask someone to throw you a party. If they want to and are able to, they will offer.

View Quoted Comment I understand, etiquette still applies though. I would tell guests that ask that to you do not have a shower planned. If your bridesmaids were planning one they would have asked for a guest list. No matter how you word it, asking your wedding party about hosting a shower- even a casual, no gifts required, get together is going to come off as asking them to throw you a party, which is frowned upon.

I feel like bridal showers are part of a wedding, period. I’ve never been to a wedding where there hasn’t been one. If you don’t feel comfortable asking, maybe throw the idea out there saying you were thinking of throwing yourself one and see if anyone offers? Is it possible they’re surprising you? Or could you tell someone in the bridal party or someone close to them you would’ve liked to have had one and see if someone can plant a seed? Idk if it’s where I’m from but I think it’s so odd that this wasn’t even a convo. (Could it be due to COVID?)

View Quoted Comment I kinda agree w this. It's not the task of the bridal party but everyone I have been in we have planned or the mom of bride did. I mean truthfully I just casually mentioned around my maid of honor that I love to have a bridal shower but I know it's rude for me to throw my own and then she offered to host one. However like others have said there's really no way to say or ask without it sounding rude. Now what we are doing in lieu of a bridal shower since I'm having a minimoni instead of a full wedding is I'm just doing a bridal brunch and I'm helping her Finance it. It's against tradition probably but no gifts are expected so it's basically like I'm just throwing a party and asking my friends to come celebrate my upcoming day. My friends in my circle are happy to do that. I would say don't worry about what others are asking in regards to gifts they want to get you a gift I'll get you one regardless if you have a bridal shower or not. Like this person suggested maybe you can just host like a bridal luncheon and just have them some close friends and family and you can provide the food or something? Like this person said maybe if you say you are thinking of throwing one then maybe they'll offer to help you out or something.

Know your crowd! My mom and MOH are hosting but I am very much involved in the process. I dont think it hurts to mention it if you feel like they won't be offended. We are a pretty non traditional group so it didn't bother anyone that I discuss it with them, especially under these circumstances.

I was only planning on having my best friend from Florida in my bridal party, so I mentioned that I didnt really expect her to throw me a shower or bachelorette party to my mom and some people on my fh side and his sil offered to throw me one. I honestly could care less about the bachelorette party but I do want the shower not just for gifts although it would be nice lol I just want to be celebrated lol