Bridal shower

The bride should know the date and be asked for the guest list. Other than that, any details and the rest of the planning can be kept as surprises.

This varies. It seems regional. My shower the mothers were presuming it was a surprise but my bridesmaids they were planning with were talking to me about it 🤣— I even picked the date haha. I asked them if it wasn’t supposed to be a surprise and they were like “oh no! I don’t think so! No one ever said so specifically??” — in my friends’ region showers didn’t tend to be. In my family’s, they do! So both sides presumed it went without saying 🤣. I asked my girls to just stop talking to me about the details and went on pretending to my mom like I didn’t know much….although I had to know SOMETHING— the shower was out of state from where I live haha

In my experience, certain elements can be a surprise, such as the type of food served, the decor, the games, etc. but the bride definitely needs to have a say in the guest list and know the date and time that the shower is being held.

I was the MOB and hosted my daughter's shower. Her personality is such that a surprise wouldn't have made her super happy... , so I involved her to some extent. She helped me choose the date and location (a restaurant, and she definitely had opinions about some of the options/menu choices) and she worked with me on the guest list. Beyond that, I tried to keep some details from her so there would be some things that would be small surprises the day of.

View Quoted Comment That’s my daughter as well. That’s why I asked the question. I honestly don’t think my daughter would enjoy a surprise of that nature

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LOL.... I know my daughter well enough to KNOW she would HATE a surprise shower.... She'd want know it was coming and to be able to plan her wardrobe/hair/etc., not to mention coordinate with her work schedule or other potential plans. We were in CA, and there weren't any "cultural" expectations about a shower being a surprise. But, we have family on the east coast and it seems the "surprise" element is practically a requirement (although, in my experience, most of the brides KNEW, but then pretended to be surprised... lol). Good luck! Daughter's shower was super fun!

I dont think it has to be a surprise.
I'm having both shower/batch on the same day and I have a say in both planning

My parents threw mine for me. I helped with most of it cuz I personally like planning parties.

Depends on the bride preference.

I knew where & when mine was, & I recently threw one & told the bride to be when it was (merely for dressing purposes, I would hate to not be dressed appropriately for pictures.

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I echo this!!