Bridal shower

The purpose is to "shower the bride" haha. Mine is next weekend and I'm so excited to hang out with my family and friends and celebrate getting married. You usually play some bridal related games, eat, and hang out and usually the women closest to you are invited, not everyone (mom, sisters, bridesmaids, MOG, future SILs, etc.). You also don't throw your own shower, someone decides to throw a party for you if they choose. You definitely don't need one and if you'd rather not have it, that's completely fine. Showers are usually for physical gifts, but you can do "stock the bar" where everyone brings a bottle or lingerie themed if you don't want household stuff.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Yeah I think my mom was wanting to plan one for me, do men go? Or my fiancé?

From what I have heard and seen guests will give gifts at the shower if they attend and then will usually just bring a card to the wedding since the gift has already been given. It is not like asking for a second gift (although some people will choose to do that anyway). Not everyone attends the shower usually so the people who don't attend bring their gifts/cards to the wedding.



I haven't talked about a bridal shower with my family yet. I think my mom will want to hold one and honestly my FH and I just moved in together and are still finding things we don't have, so it makes sense to have one. It sounds like you would be fine either way. Unless your mom is going to get really bent out of shape about not hosting one then I would say skip it and just get gifts at the wedding.

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I think traditionally they're only for women, but some couples do Jack and Jill showers which are co-ed! All the ones I've been to have been all women and the fiance stops by at the end to say thank you for the gifts and say hi to everyone.

Honestly everyone can use one. It’s to shower you with physical gifts to set up your new home. Who doesn’t want upgrades of better linens and matching household items? Plus just have fun with your guests. Same reason you register for gifts. Your guests want to celebrate with you and buy you something you need or that you want and wouldn’t necessarily buy yourselves.


Typically only the closest female guests who are invited to the wedding who are local to the shower location are invited. Coworkers and other social groups will also host a shower even though they know they are not invited because they are happy for you.

The purpose of a bridal shower is to give the couple gifts that they can use to build their lives together. My husband and I lived together for three years when we got married so we registered for items we either didn't want to buy ourselves or items that we needed to upgrade such as new dishes. Typically, you only invite female guests that the bride is the closest to, but coed showers have become more common. For my shower, my husband was the only male in attendance. He choose to attend because it was in a town neither of us were familiar with so he didn't really have anything else to do. It was there because our families live in two different states about three hours apart so it was in between both families.

I didn't want a shower because I just felt uncomfortable with the idea of this extra gift giving party and we FH and I are both established and actually had to decide what to keep and what to donate when we combined households. Instead I had what is more of a bridal luncheon, just my girls and my mom. We did a cooking class of sorts (we had a small group, all vaccinated, in the house of someone we knew), ate the food, and they arranged to get me a bunch of their favorite recipes. I felt much more comfortable with this set-up.

First realize they were started in the days when most brides lived with their families until marriage. And the only women working worked for really low wages. Second, If a person married twice, there was o shower, simply a luncheon that was a social party, just the bride's nearest and dearest friends and family. And it makes more sense. Brides collected or made things for a hope chest, embroidered sheets and hand made lace table lothes etc. And a few of her closest women friend and family made, of bought gifts, to set up a home. And a few helped with the trousseau, nice clothes for the wedding and honeymoon. If 5 years together mean you need no gifts, then there is no need for any to give you 2 gifts, then there is no need for anyone to give a shower to collect them. Have a social party, or not. But no shower.

FH and I have been together for 6 years, living together for 1. I’m not having a bridal shower because:
1. We have everything we need;
2. There is no point is putting a list together of some things we could possibly do with (ie nicer linen for our guest bed) because frankly we genuinely don’t need anything / it’s a waste of resources; and 3. Our guests (most) will give gifts at the wedding (cultural thing) so I don’t want to make some people spend even more money on another gift.
I personally dread being invited to bridal showers because I will never come empty handed so I end up hemorrhaging money!!

I had a bridal shower. Our registry is all cash fund gifts online so my shower was not about the gifts. It was about celebrating an exciting time in life. It was so special to get dressed up & celebrate the love. I put on a sash that said "Future Mrs.", got to take fun & candid pictures with friends/family & play a bunch of hilarious games! It was such a nice break from the hustle & bustle of constant wedding planning. I say go for it & let your mom plan something special for you!

I agree with your thoughts and they are completely optional. You can choose to skip it if you want. I will not be having a bridal shower as I feel uncomfortable with the idea of people 'showering' me with gifts. Also the thought of people staring at me for 2 hours as I open gifts is not my idea of a good time.

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Completely agree!

I didn't have a bridal shower, nor did I want one. We didn't have a registry because we had already lived together for years, had a house, and really didn't need more stuff. Being showered with gifts isn't really my thing. I honestly don't enjoy receiving gifts I don't want or need, and often feel guilty when I receive a well intentioned gift that I don't like or just isn't "me". I would rather get nothing than receive something I don't have a use for.