Bridal shower/engagement party

I don't think engagement parties are that common really. I've only ever known 2 people to have them. We didn't do one. I did have a bridal shower and bachelorette, but not because I requested it. My bridesmaids specifically wanted to throw one for me, and I knew nothing about them until the day of. While I enjoyed them and they were lovely, I didn't need one and if no one had offered to throw one, I wouldn't have been terribly upset. We didn't do anything very elaborate for my bachelorette though. We're about 2 hours from Atlantic City, so we spent 1 night there and went out to dinner and just hung out and talked and had a few drinks.

So relieved to know I’m not the only one that feels this way 😮‍💨

We did have an engagement party. It was really more of something to get our families together. We won’t be doing any other traditional parties though. I also don’t like too much attention so this wedding is enough!

I did not have an engagement party. i've seen a lot of people skip on the pre wedding activities and it is totally fine! at the end of the day all of that is optional

If doing pre-wedding parties wont make you happy then skip them. They are optional. My husband and I skipped having an engagement party or wedding shower. He proposed to me at a large dinner with most of our friends there so that kind of counts but it didn't involve gifts or either of our families. My work used to do something at our monthly meeting pre-COVID but they decided to pass around an envelope and surprised me with a cash gift instead.


We did have small get-togethers for our bachelorette and bachelor parties. Mine was 4 friends having drinks and take-out Chinese together and my husband's was his college friends having drinks and board games the night before the wedding.

Every social circle is different in what their traditions entail, but these are what are common in ours. Covid has not changed anything as far as how they are done.

We’ve never seen an engagement party in real life. I’ve only ever seen them on Law and Order though and those are mini weddings on their own, which is not the vibe we want.
Destination bachelor/ette parties in our families get the side eye due to huge expenses and general inconvenience. It’s common to have a simple local bachelor/ette following the rehearsal dinner but nothing more lavish than that.
Showers are under 20 guests in someone’s home with cake and punch. It’s considered a faux pas to ask for any alternative to wrapped physical gifts: for example, cash, gift cards, experiences, stock the bar, etc. And it’s considered in bad taste in our circles to decline a shower. Our social circles do not gift cash, experiences, or other alternatives. If you don’t have a registry of physical things you need and want, you will get physical items you can’t return anywhere.
Welcome parties for traveling guests who are not participating in rehearsal or rehearsal dinner are not done in our circles. Rehearsal dinners are very casual because the next day is much more formal.
Brides don’t wear white, dresses or otherwise, to any pre wedding events.
The only things we do are a very casual pizza and sodas rehearsal dinner for only those participating in the rehearsal, a simple local bachelorette party, and a simple shower.

View Quoted Comment I hear so many people say they have people who won’t gift cash and that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard! Our circle certainly gives money. The check alone from his grandparents 😅

View Quoted Comment It’s good to know I’m not alone either! Lol

View Quoted Comment I feel like I always see people on here ask questions about engagement parties

TOTALLY AGREE! We are having that discussion tonight when we get home about how to tell the family we don't need anything else done. His aunts are very sweet for wanting to throw an engagement party AND bridal shower. We have been together almost 9 years so it really isn't necessary. We are both doing our own separate bach/bachelorette parties with our closest friends. We also don't need another crockpot or dishes!

View Quoted Comment We’ve been together almost 8. We don’t need anymore stuff 🥴 we’re literally going to be packing away and SELLING a ton of stuff right before our wedding as we’re moving into an RV full time from our apartment to travel. We already have way too much stuff!