Bridal showers when you’re eloping..??

You can't really have a "shower" because the purpose of that particular party is gifts. However, you could do a bridal tea or engagement party - something that indicates you wish to celebrate with people, but that gifts are not expected.

It's typically rude to invite people to pre-wedding events if they are not invited to the wedding itself. I think your best bet would be to host some kind of party after the elopement to celebrate your marriage.

I agree with Hannah. I would hold a low key part after the elopement to celebrate.

I third Hannah’s suggestion. I would host a post-wedding celebration, where you can display elopement pics/videos and talk about the experience, and you can specify no gifts.

You can’t have a shower. You can host a brunch though.

View Quoted Comment After talking with friends and family of mine. They do not have any problems with me having a shower. They know they aren’t invited just for “gifts”.
But thank you everyone for your input.

People say it's rude, but honestly as long as those invited know about the elopement & don't have a problem with it then who cares? I think people are so stuck on "etiquette" these days. I could say that if I were to personally elope and someone threw me a bridal shower, none of those in attendance would care or call it rude. If your guests are fine with it - GO FOR IT!

The etiquette police won’t come after you, but that’s what happens when you decide to elope/have a micro wedding. The invite pool for these events is the same size. If I was invited to one knowing I wasn’t invited to the wedding, depending on how close I am with the person I would just not go, or go but be slightly offended. Small or not, I’m good enough to buy you a gift but not go the wedding. That’s why it comes of gift grabby in certain circles

View Quoted Comment Pretty sure she can do whatever she wants.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%. The guests know you’re eloping so it’s not rude!

We just canceled our wedding plans and are eloping alone in Hawaii. So, personally, I would feel odd having any kind of pre-wedding events since no one is invited. However, in your case, you can have a small hosted shower that includes your parents and siblings, since they will be at the wedding. We’ll have a 1st anniversary celebration next year with family & friends. But, nothing right now beforehand.

No one is going to tell you to your face you're being rude. I'd call it a bridal luncheon/brunch rather than a "shower". By definition, a bridal shower is a gift giving prelude to a wedding to which all the shower attendees are invited. It's like the appetizer course.

View Quoted Comment My family and friends are very up front people, just as I am. So when they are asked if they would have their feelings hurt or if it’s rude, they tell me the truth.

View Quoted Comment I also agree with this. I wouldn't invite anyone to pre-wedding event that aren't invited to the wedding eloping or not, it's just not a good idea.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with these posts. You're not sure how to word the invites, likely because at some level you know perhaps that this isn't a good idea?

I would have a party or something to mark the occasion afterward.

I don't know about all these etiquette rules. If my friend was eloping or having a tiny wedding and I couldn't come, I would hope that she would at least invite me to the shower so that I could bring or give her a gift. That's how my social circle works and send like yours probably similar.


Who is helping out or hosting the shower for you? I would have the invite say, "Whitney and xxxx are eloping in Xxxx 2021! Even though we won't all be present at the ceremony, please join us in showering the bride with love in preparation for her upcoming day!" Or something to that effect. You definitely are a bride and deserve to feel that way up until your wedding whether it's an elopement or not.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the helpful and respectful advice!