One of my BMs is throwing me a bridal shower (yay!) in my fiance's hometown. The guest list is mostly my BMs, fiance's childhood friends, his parents' friends, a few of our college friends, and possibly my friends from my old job. All of these people are invited to the wedding. I'm struggling with whether it's okay to invite some men/partners to a coed shower but not all.
Example 1 - His parents are good friends with a few couples (who were like second parents to my FI) and I was planning to invite the husbands as well as the wives for my FIL and FI to socialize with. One of the couples has a daughter who my FI is good friends with, but we've met her husband maybe twice. Do we invite him too?
Example 2 - My FI's best friend lives about 2 hours away. We are good friends with his wife as well, was planning to invite her. Since my FI doesn't see his best friend often, as we live far away, I was planning to invite the friend as well. Friend is a GM - do we invite all GMs?
Example 3 - One of my best friends is a GM, I also do not see him often, and am good friends with his mom and was planning to invite her. Do I invite his dad? Do I invite him?
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If you went to a shower that your H was not invited to, and saw other men there, would you feel slighted that your H was not invited?
If you were a GM (imagine, lol), and saw on social media that there was a shower @2 hours away from you that you were not invited to, but other GMs were, would you be offended?
BONUS QUESTION: I have 5 former female coworkers I am inviting to the wedding. I am closer with 2 of them than the others, all live 2.5 hours away from the shower. Do I invite all to the shower? Just those 2? Do I have to invite their DHs if I have met them?
Just don't want this guest list to get out of hand...we are already nearing 30.
THANK YOU in advance for all your input!!