Bride Forcing Ugly Bridesmaid Dresses! - What Should i Do / Say?

If you aren’t comfortable spending that much money, just tell her. Say that your finances won’t allow for all the costs of being her bridesmaid and, unfortunately, you have to bow out.

She's crossed a line--brides can fully dictate the exact gown their bridesmaids wear to a point. Not asking budget and demanding that y'all pay $300 (VERY expensive) for the dresses is, in my opinion, worse than the dresses being unflattering, as she clearly has no regards for your bank accounts.

(I'm also not a fan of brides dictating uniform BM dresses for the exact same "different body types" reason, too).

You're well within your rights to explain that isn't going to work for you (and the other bridesmaids should do so, all separately, as well). You don't have to make any excuses. Tell her that's not within your budget and you'd like to go with the original plan. If she refuses, tell her that if those are her stipulations, you'll have to respectfully step down from the bridal party. Additionally, she absolutely cannot dictate anyone throw her a shower or a bachelorette, let alone an extravagant one.

I agree with Laura,

Just tell the bride politely that you cannot afford to spend $300 dollars on a dress that you will only wear once. If the wedding isn't until 7 months there is plenty of time to find another dress. I did something similar where I told the girls to pick their style of dress, but with my color and ultimately they all are going to be matching with each-other. She was your friend first, just talk to her.

“I’m sorry, I can no longer participate as a bridesmaid because of the huge financial commitment.”

Tell her you can either find your own dress as $300 for a dress is a big financial commitment you are not willing to make at this time, or you can step down from the bridal party. And I would encourage you to have the others speak up as well if they feel the same way

I would simply tell her you can’t spent the $300 on either of the dresses she has chosen, on top of the other bridesmaids commitments. She will either compromise with you, or she won’t. But the bride making a huge mistake by acting this way.

I would tell her straight up that you can't spend that much $$ on a dress.

While I believe that the bride can dictate any dress in any color she chooses, $300 is nuts.


I never had a budget talk with my bridesmaids, but I set a $125 limit when I walk looking... and they ended up being $135.
I'd just tell her straight up that you didn't budget $300 for a bridesmaids dress. And that alone has made you decide you can no longer be her bridesmaid.

Just wanna validate you here. It sounds like she’s gone over the top. $300 is a very high price to pay for a dress, and she should absolutely have not picked it if she a) didn’t even ask your budget b) previously told you you could pick out your own dresses to fit your body shapes.


I think that dropping out due to the unreasonable financial commitment is honestly fine....but if you want to be completely honestly with her, I would personally mention all of the the reasons why. (Because if you’re feeling this way, the other girls might be too...)

No, disrespect to your friend, but she sounds like me like she is becoming a bridezilla. I'm not sure if you would still want to continue be a part of the bridal party because if she's acting like this now wait until the day before the day of the wedding. I would honestly write back in the group chat and just say thank you for your input on the dresses, but that you thought that you all were allowed to choose what you would like + $300 is much more money than you were expecting to pay. Would she be willing to let you girls along with her decide the bridesmaid's dress that you want within your budget? If she responds negatively then I would just privately talk to her and let her know that unfortunately, this is much more than you had bargained for. And that maybe it's best that you to step down from being a bridesmaid. That could damage your friendship, but honestly, I feel like you're seeing a very not-so-nice side of someone that I would question if you want to be friends with them. Anytime I have been a bridesmaid. None of my friends that were brides ever disrespected me and had they did we probably would not even friends anymore. Also, you ladies can throw her bridal shower, but her mom can also help with that. So if she is expecting something lavish then I feel like her mother should step in and help finance that.

I think you are in the right on price. If you feel like that is too much for you, speak up. Tell the bride that is too much or that you need more notice to save up that much. Whatever your situations is.

As for style, suck it up. It is her day and you should wear whatever she wants no mater how ugly.

I wouldn't gives any excuses. Personally I would tell her how I felt. I understand that it is her wedding, but asking her bridesmaids to buy a $300 dress that none of them like and will never wear again is a little rude. I know every bride is different and wants something different but when picking dresses that your bridesmaids are paying for, you should be looking at the prices of them and pick something flattering. I would say sit down and talk to her. There is no reason for her to be rude to you and the rest of the bridesmaids. And if she continues to be rude, I'd personally back out from being a bridesmaid.

Ladies this is great advice so far, I am so anxious because I know I have to gather the courage to drop out of this if my friend doesn't relent.

She has now said we all have to change our hair for the big day, she is saying makeup artist needs to be paid $100 per bridesmaid and is very snarky about it. It's solidified my decision to quit.

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I am going to definitely let her know next week when I see her in person, you sound like you were a very reasonable bride. sigh...I wish other brides would follow suit when it comes to budgets of others!

View Quoted Comment Idk if my bridesmaids think the dresses are ugly... but being a large girl myself, I chose a dress that would be flattering on myself or my largest bridesmaid and went with it. I also chose multi colors and gave each girl the coloring though would suit them best. I tried to also choose a dress that might be a little forgiving if anyone got pregnant... we will see in 2 months if I was successful. 🤭

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Thanks Laura, the bride has proved that our budgets do not matter to her and this is really solidifying my decision to bow out.

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After she demanded that we all head to the bridal store and pay the $300, - 4 out of the 6 bridesmaids have stopped responding in the group chat, I am guessing they are feeling the same way that I am lol

If she keeps this up, she won't have any bridal party left.

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I am compiling a list of replies and this one is good! How can one argue with that! Unless she wants to foot my $300 dress lol Thanks Caytlyn =)

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She has definitely become a bridezilla. It has shocked me because I was a bridesmaid 2 years ago for my other friend who in contrast to this one, was very respectful, she allowed us bridesmaids to choose our dress styles and the experience was a very pleasant one. She even told us not to spend over $120 on a dress!!

I had so much fun supporting her on her big day. The most relaxed bride, I have ever met. Everything all fell into place and we are friends to this day!

Forward to this particular friend and the experience has left me sour and I really starting to see that maybe she's not who I thought she was. I am questioning the friendship sadly.

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It's very rude of her to go out of the budget. 4 of the bridesmaids have shown her dresses that are $150 and lower (that actually look better than the $300 style she chose ).

At this point she has complete disregard for our input and the snarkiness and rudeness coming from her also really gets to me.

I am dropping out in person next weekend, this may be the end of our friendship sadly, but it's good to feel respected even if the wedding day is definitely not about me but the bride and groom.

Thank you for your input Megan =)