Bride Friendship

This is incredibly rude on your friend’s part!!! All significant others should be a named guest, and really anyone in the bridal party should be given a plus one if they don’t have a significant other. So your hurt feelings are certainly justified, and I’m sorry it’s awkward between all of you now. In terms of ending the friendship, that probably depends on whether your hurt and awkwardness outweighs the good times. Did you ever ask her directly at the time you got the save the date? As rude as it is, a lot of couples don’t actually know the wedding rules of etiquette before they start planning, and some of them never learn. So this could have been an innocent, if hurtful, mistake. I honestly would have just declined the wedding invitation and probably stayed friends in the end, unless this was the latest in a long line of insults.

This is definitely rude on your friend. Couples are always considered a unit, especially being together awhile, and considering you’re in her wedding. I personally would back out and not attend. You can’t ask somebody to celebrate your relationship and actively disrespect theirs in the process

It is rude..... But weddings are crazy and can be very stressful. Maybe she had to make some cuts and didn't know what to do it? I still feel like she should have given you a heartfelt apology though. I don't know... It definitely was not good wedding etiquette. And it would have upset me too. Don't know if I would end the friendship though. Maybe when you eventually get married, don't invite her husband? Lol.

I agree with Taylor. It is very rude on your friend's part not to invite your boyfriend of two and half years. If you are close enough friend-wise with the bride, I would tell her that if your boyfriend is not welcome at the wedding, then you will not be attending either. I get that weddings are expensive, but she should have considered that when making the guest list. It is insulting to suggest that he is expendable due to costs. If she won't reconsider, then tell her you're sorry, but you can't be a bridesmaid and won't be at the wedding.

I agree with everything that both Kimberly and Taylor said. Have you asked your friend about why your partner isn't included? Couples should be invited together, so it's very rude on your friend's part to exclude him. If you've already had a conversation with your friend and she is not willing to include your partner, I would probably decline the wedding invitation.

She's had you to come and celebrate her relationship while simultaneously disrespecting yours. That's incredibly rude, and I would walk away from that "friendship".

I know there are strong feelings about this but IMO you need to go by intent. It would be a complete shame to throw away an otherwise valued friendship based only on someone’s misunderstanding or lack of knowledge of etiquette. Etiquette is meant as a guide for our own behavior, not a club by which to punish anyone who violates it. Of course some rudenesses are more forgivable than others.


Ironically it’s the more traditional experts who call for any long term, mature couple considering themselves to be a social unit to be invited as a couple as well as anyone married, engaged or living together.
While there’s some room for interpretation even there, for example I don’t necessarily agree one has to invite a BF of a few months, or a teenage couple, surprisingly even a popular and recognized “updated” source does not agree that even a long term BF must always be included. While I happen to disagree, it’s very possible your friend thinks she’s done nothing wrong. https://www.brides.com/story/people-to-cross-off-your-wedding-guest-list-and-why

Even if there is no question on any level that your BF should have been invited, your recourse was to ask if there was an oversight and they meant to include him, and if not, to say you are uncomfortable leaving him home in that case. But unless there are other issues, cutting off the friendship completely seems like an overreaction.
PS As for how they let you know, there is no obligation to include everyone to ultimately be invited on a STD. On top of that whether or not you think they were right or wrong it’s rude to tell someone that they aren’t invited to something.

Do I think she’s absolutely in the wrong? Yes.
Do I think it’s worth losing a friendship over? Maybe not. If it’s a good friendship and this is the only thing , I’d aim to move past it— be hurt, maybe express your feelings especially after the event, but I’d try to go with the “just because my friend made a bad decision here doesn’t make it a bad friendship” mentality. There’s lots of reasons why she may have done this and while none are great, it’s also likely most aren’t personal. Now if it’s clear it was personal, or it’s just part of a long list of different struggles in your recent friendship, that’s a different story.

I agree with Mcskipper. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. My husband (boyfriend at the time) and I had been together about 8 years at the time. It left a bad taste in my mouth and I had a terrible time at her wedding because I didn't know anyone else. But it was not worth losing a 25 year friendship over. I used that unfortunate experience to learn what not to do when planning my own wedding and made extra sure that all of my guests had someone they knew well at my wedding.

That is an etiquette violation and has absolutely nothing to do with budget. It is incredibly rude to invite someone without their partner to celebrate their relationship while ignoring yours. People try to justify it by saying “we haven’t met your “partner” and you don’t get a plus one until we do our B List”. That is equally rude. Cut your losses because this person doesn’t respect you and they are not a friend. Decline the invitation and move on with your life.

I would let her know it was hurtful and seek more clarification on the whys. There may be something personally or financially that you know nothing about. I would give her the benefit of the doubt and go from there. Do not end a friendship over one bad decision. She made a mistake and this is a chance for your friendship to grow to a new level. I would see it as an opportunity and not a friendship ending situation.