Bride want’s bridesmaids to wear specific colors to bridal shower

I have never heard of a bride doing this (first time for everything). I find it ridiculous.

I would mention to the others, "this is what the bride is thinking of doing, what are your thoughts?" There are a few things at play.

1. Does the bridal party even have appropriate attire in these colors already. If the answer is no for anyone, then it's not fair for them to have to purchase new attire that isn't for the wedding itself while other people don't

2. They are not props for the bridal shower. They can wear a name tag or a corsage if the bride wants you all to stick out. This is what bridesmaids dresses and standing up at the alter with her is for.

3. Why? (This kind of goes with 2) What is the benefit or the purpose?

I would have pushed back on the bride first, but some wedding parties like this kind of stuff. If they don't want to, the bride will have to accept it.

There is no polite way and I wouldn’t feel the slightest bit obligated. Not to mention she’s just the guest of honor and properly has no say in the planning. Just when you thought you’d heard it all.

No, I agree with you. That is an awkward thing to try to communicate to others. I don't think there's a polite way to do that, and I would say no to that request. I might have a conversation with the bride around expectations and really think about whether you're able to meet all of them. My gut tells me that this might be an issue in future with this bride.

You are not obligated to participate. The bride is way too controlling and has no right to ask/demand this. Everyone involved needs to set clear boundaries and say absolutely not immediately. If you go along with this, her demands will only get worse down the road. A real friend would not ask this, but it’s possible that she is caught up in the Instagram influencer culture and doesn’t understand that this is a faux pas. Not everyone was taught etiquette by parents/elders and others don’t care.

Rather than thinking of a polite way to ask the bridesmaids when there isn't one, I'd focus on thinking of a polite way of telling the bride that you are uncomfortable with that and why.

Nope I mean maybe if the bridesmaids wanted to wear the wedding colors that could be fun and cute but it should not be mandated. And if she is insists on in being a requirement the bride needs to be the one to say that and I hope she's ready for members of the bp not attending the shower. Best of luck!

Oof, that's a tough spot. She really shouldn't be having any requests for the shower, let alone asking for a specific wardrobe. Can you gently communicate to her that you aren't sure it's appropriate to ask that of the bridal party? Or as above mentioned, ask the bridesmaids if they'd be okay with it to appease her (this is more dependent on your relationship with them).

Sounds like she's going to have a lot more "requests" to come... good luck

First of all to, my interpretation of what you wrote, I don’t see she dictated anything, no just yet. She just asked you for ideas of what the others should wear for the bridal shower. Which honestly, I think it’s kind of fun. What other occasion than for a birthday or wedding-related party to dress similar to your friends? Look at it from a more positive perspective and ask her how did she came up with this idea. Maybe she just wants super cute pics of everyone matching. If you tell me that she requested a specific brand, style, or budget for the outfits, then that’s wild, but it was just a simple question about colors, an idea she has because it’s probably what she has envisioned. Come on everyone! Why being so defensive and confrontational all the time? Talk to her nicely about how you feel, and you will probably end up understanding her!

View Quoted Comment “The bride has asked me to send a chart and inspiration of what colors the bridesmaids should wear at the bridal shower.”


If this is not an attempt to dictate I don’t know what is. And yes, people tend to get annoyed when a bride is unreasonable and inconsiderate. I’m sure she does want “cute pictures” but this is over the top. She gets some input into the bridesmaid dress, but that’s all.

View Quoted Comment It depends on the point of view you see it. I don’t see it like she’s dictating anything. She asked for opinions on what colors they should wear for the bridal shower. She wants them to differ from the other guests by wearing all one color of their selection. Maybe the rest of the bridesmaids agree with that idea, maybe not. Assuming that she’s dictating anything is overdramatic since she hasn’t given any orders for anything yet. She’s simply asking for input, and if the others love her, they should talk it out and be open to the idea before judging and confronting her. Again, it’s my opinion, and you and I will always disagree, so if you want, I’d recommend you save some time by not responding to my responses

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Look how cute this look. Im sorry but this is the time to be extra and going over the top. Hell yeah ! It’s your wedding and supposed to be one in a lifetime. So what else could make you an amazing bridesmaid if it’s not by spoiling and supporting your bride? Don’t make it about you, don’t be another of her problems, know that being a bridesmaid cost money so be sincere if you can do it or not. Good luck!

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That's very cute, and very much staged for social media. Actually, bridesmaids need to buy ONE dress to the specifications of the bride. Being a bridesmaid is the chance for the bride to honour those people that are important in life. Not the other way around.

Plus also, the fact that the bride asked the MOH to communicate this puts the MOH in a tricky position, because it's an over the top request.

View Quoted Comment The bride forwarded inspiration photos of what the BMs “should wear” and asked OP to communicate this to them. This does nor sound
optional or like a suggestion to me. Even asking would be inappropriate. As you point out most BMs want to make the bride happy and are uncomfortable objecting. The onus is on a bride to be considerate, not impose stupid and excessive burdens. She gets say over ONE dress not two.