Bride with Panic Disorder!!! HELP!

Your father can absolutely walk you down the aisle! Some of my favorite weddings have been between 12-30 guests. Keep it simple; do a sweet restaurant, some nice live music; it'll be gorgeous. And as calm as it can be!

I'd recommend starting to work with a therapist if you aren't currently. Even if you have in the past, it can always be helpful, especially with anxiety and panic disorders, so you can hopefully work on strengthening skills and strategies to manage wedding anxiety, etc. Since you've been dealing with this for quite a while I imagine that you've tried medications before, but it could definitely be worth looking into some PRN anxiety meds. If you're concerned about addictive potential with benzos, you could always explore a non addictive option like Vistaril. (Of course consult with your doctor). Is there anything in the past that's worked well for you? You've clearly come SUCH A LONG WAYS and built up really solid skills to manage this in order to be able to return to work, so I'd encourage you to draw upon those things that have worked in the past. You've come so far and have already accomplished/overcome so much, you've got the strength to continue to do so. Best of luck to you.

I'm also an older bride but I have the children. I also have anxiety and would LOVE to elope but that is not an option.

I started doing yoga & meditation to relieve some of the tension & panic. Its helping!

I am having a small wedding, thankfully, and I definitely recommend that!

Hi, I've been diagnosed with GAD. Visualizations and mantras have been (sometimes literally) life saving when it comes to anxiety-provoking situations. Play with some of those in the months leading up to your wedding. Learn what works for you. Also, lean on your FS as much as possible. Would you be more relaxed if the two of you walk in together, instead of processing by yourself/with a family member?

If nothing else, consider an elopement/tiny ceremony. All you need to get married is you, your FS, and an officiant. Any other aspect that is creating a health/safety concern, nix it!

I would look minimalist wedding inspiration. At home or super small. Day of coordinator is a must. Take care of yourself.

I agree with what @lynnie said - many things are not required.

because many of my friends have social anxiety i am trying to reduce stressors for them as well.

We're not having passed apps, we're not doing toasts or video recorded messages, the DJ has been told not to harass people into dancing, there will be no bouquet toss or garter toss (i HATED being FORCED to participate in these up until now)

If you dont want to go without walking down the aisle with your dad but feel like you're going to have a panic attack because all eyes on you is too much, you can practice walking towards FS with your eyes locked on them and blocking everyone else out. You could try wearing one of those nude bluetooth ear buds that play music. or learn some breathing exercises that you can do as you're walking.

I'm really glad you're in a better place now than where you say you were in your 20s. Moving forward in life with what feels like an elephant on your back is a really big deal <3

I have generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks, major depression, and OCD. I take Xanax for my panic attacks, though it would mean you couldn't drink during your wedding... I mean, my therapist has suggested meditation techniques and deep breathing. It's just one of those things people like us dread. I'm planning on focusing on my FH whenever I feel panicky - just look at his face, remember why I'm there, and try to shut out the crowds.

Your father can still walk you down aisle.

-Do a first look to reduce your anxiety/anticipation of seeing FH for the first time.

-Plan the ceremony with your officiant so your speaking is minimized (if that makes you anxious). You do not have to do personal vows, or you could simply read them to each other privately during your first look.

-You can skip anything you don't want to do. You don't have to make a speech, you don't have to do a first dance, a cake cutting, garter toss, any of that. Don't feel pressured to do those things just because they're "traditional". As long as you host your guests properly, you're good.

A small wedding would be ideal but there are also a lot of things you can change since it is YOUR wedding! Don't have a grand entrance, your head table could not be front and center. There are probably other little things you can do so that you're not always the center of attention. Good luck

Just focus on your FH. He helps you calm down and feel normal right? If you focus on him and keep him with you then it will help you feel grounded and less panicked. Plus always being together all evening would not be seen as odd since it is your wedding.

That's what helped me. I nearly passed out walking down the aisle because I was so overwhelmed with emotion. Once I got to the front I focused on my husband and by the end of the ceremony I felt all better.

What about a small immediate family wedding so he can still walk you down the aisle but it's more manageable size for you

As a Counselor, when working with clients that have anxiety or panic disorders. I would first make them identify triggers and rate them accordingly to low, moderate, severe. It's best to know what your triggers are and let those around you know so you can spot out "uh oh, that's a trigger I'm going into panic mode."

I would also recommend identifying coping skills. When you are in a state of panic what or who can help calm you down even if it's just a small step down. Practice these coping techniques on your own as well with others.

Generally, I have my clients use Cognitive Behavior therapy. Decrease negative ways of thinking and increase more positive ways. Help prevent them from thinking of everything that can go wrong and focus on how it can go right. For example, pretty much being in front of people watching you makes you anxious. What if you had a specific person stand out in the audience and walk through the crowd (they know your coping techniques) so if they see you going into panic mode they can help escort you back or have you step out for a bit to regroup.

Hope this helps!

I know how you feel about having all eyes on you. It's nerve wracking. Try not to think about your anxieties and just focus on what your wedding symbolizes. I agree that you should try to have a small ceremony if you can. It will be an awesome day!

Before you knock it. Would you be opposed to wearing a veil and or with a lace blind fold that can be removed at the altar with your FH? I only suggest it, because some times seeing everything can be a trigger and if you FH happens to be a type of crutch or safe place for you that could help you do the aisle walk and still stand for the ceremony.

Maybe do a more private ceremony with just immediate family & a reception separately with everyone else?

In addition to some of the other suggestions (I highly recommend strategizing with a therapist), build in a LOT of margin to your day. Take it slow and give yourself time for breaks with just your husband or even by yourself. Think about what works for you on a daily basis and mimic that in your planning.

Hey, girl! I totally can relate to you on the anxiety of wedding day, especially for an introvert or high anxiety personality. I've got all sorts of diagnosis, but one of those being Generalized Anxiety and Panic Disorder. So I UNDERSTAND! For those reasons, I've always wanted a small wedding, but my fiance has a huge family and many friends he wants there, which I also do so we decided to go with a bigger wedding. One thing that we did, that I think will help me, is we found a friend's large backyard to use as a reception venue. I just felt more comfortable with the idea of doing it outside, where there's open space, enough room to mingle, etc, that way it's not too croweded. (Big crowds set me off, at times). So, we tried an intimate setting and that's already helped me feel more comfortable. Another thing I suggest is eat plenty of snacks through out the day and eat a meal that night! Having food in me helps me manage the anxiety so much more easily. If you're feeling stresses or over stimulated, take time to take a breather or retreat to a quiet place, like the changing room. I've learned with myself that if I don't take the time to calm myself or breath, I'll definitely have to take the time to panic or distress later. Last of all, practice mindfulness. Focus on the very moment before you, like the person you're speaking with, the food you're munching on, maybe the way the lights twinkle, how your new husband smiles. Just focusing on the moment and not judging ourselves even if we do become anxious helps me loads.

I have anxiety. But not as bad as you. I am planning and planning and making a list and checking it twice.

I was freaking out at first. It has calmed down greatly since that time. Still getting panic attacks but I am able to come out of them fairly quickly

Have you considered sharing your concerns about having a panic attack with your fiancé, family, and friends? If you can identify a panic attack as it comes on, and your loved ones know you experience them, then it may not be so unusual for you to step aside for a moment during the reception or to take a few calm pauses during the ceremony. Often times, the biggest trigger for panic attacks is the fear of having one. So if you can normalize that fear, you may be able to minimize the likelihood of having one. Hope this helps!

Hey Amanda, hold in there! I also suffer from anxiety and I used to have panic attacks quite regularly. It doesn't help that you've got something quite stressful coming up to make things worse!

The best thing you can do to help with your panic is to reduce your anxiety. I'd defintely recommend practicing some form of focused relaxation technique such as self hypnosis, meditation, mindfulness etc, but make sure you do it regularly i.e. once a day.

I also found something called the Panic Away program really helpful. If you want to find out more about it, you can read up on it here http://www.zapmystress.com/panic-attacks/panic-away/.

I'm sure everything will go really well for you. Just remember, you suffer far more from your imagination that you do reality. Good luck with it all and remind yourself that it's okay to have fun on your wedding day - everyone there is on your side.