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Alicia
Savvy June 2025

Bridemaidzilla? What’s your opinion?

Alicia, on April 22, 2024 at 11:25 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 61

Hello Everyone, Please share your input and what would you do. I’m pretty irritated and ready to fully call off all bridesmaids and replace them with a bridesman (one of my very good guy friends).Our wedding is set on June 11 2025.I have this one bridesmaid who complained about hair and makeup costs...
Hello Everyone,
Please share your input and what would you do.
I’m pretty irritated and ready to fully call off all bridesmaids and replace them with a bridesman (one of my very good guy friends).Our wedding is set on June 11 2025.I have this one bridesmaid who complained about hair and makeup costs which was priced at $108/hair, $108/makeup and $30/lashes with gratuity covered under this fee. So after she complained I offered and agreed to pay for the hair of all bridal party members, but require them to pay for their own dress priced between $75-150. I’m asking each bridesmaid to pick their own dress in forest green but it must be more conservative (AKA NO DEEP V CUT NECKS OR BOOBS FALLING OUT)…So after offering that this one bridesmaid in particular made a statement/question of “Is it okay with you if I thrift shop my dress if i can find it in a similar shade? (forest green was selected)”
Do you think this is ridiculous of her to ask or am i asking too much? I’m only asking the bridal party to cover $200-$250 in fees with the inclusion of shoes with their dresses.
I’m not receiving an engagement party or bachelorette party etc that i’m not paying for in full….so i really don’t know if this is something i should just kick her out of…i don’t feel like i should have to tell her this is ridiculous you need to stop dictating, as i hate confrontation. Another thing she made a statement today when i made bridesmaid hair request from each member she wants a dramatic and exquisite intricate hairdo with lots of braids etc….I wanted a viking style and wanted my bridesmaid to keep theirs simple and classy with a tucked low bun or braided low bun nearly done…she commented ew too Amish…and proceeded to send me very intricate bridal style hair….What do you all think? should i just ditch her fully from the wedding party? any alternative solutions…this girls whole family will be there, i even included her grandma in the bridal party as my matron of honor ( which she also tried taking the title of and named herself!)WTH DO I DO 🤭
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61 Comments

  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Many states only allow 30 days from the time the license is issued to when you can legally marry.


    Many weddings don’t last longer than 6 hours total, definitely not 3days. If you are spending upwards of $60k, which is considered large budget that most people don’t have or are willing to spend unless they are celebrities, then that is your choice. It’s not a standard cost minimum. It really sounds like you are exaggerating all the details because you are not willing to be open to other ideas and suggestions that are more polite and economical.
  • C
    CM ·
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    Your license is good for six months. The certificate of marriage is attached to the license and signed by the officiant and witnesses after the wedding ceremony. That is when it's filed, not before.

  • Natalie
    Beginner August 2025
    Natalie ·
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    It’s time for her to go. She’s is being disrespectful to you and your desires for your wedding. At the end of the day it’s her choice to be a part of your special day. This includes all requests made by you. If she is unwilling to adhere then she does not need to be a part of it. Put her out, you are dealing with enough and don’t need the extra headache from an unwilling participant.
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    That will likely end the friendship. It's a very public slight against her, and she's done nothing wrong. How do you think her Grandma will feel, who is also funding at least part of this wedding?

  • Natalie
    Beginner August 2025
    Natalie ·
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    Some of these responses whew!!! First and formost it was a choice to be a part of the wedding party not mandated. When all cost and requirements were expressed again their choice to decide if they want to do it. No one has the right to tell that bride how she wants her wedding party to show up at her wedding. If you don’t like it then respectfully decline. People kill me to have the audacity dictate what a bride and groom should do for their day. You don’t have to participate! This is their wedding not anyone else’s. My wedding party knows up front what my expectations are . They’ve known me for years and it hasn’t changed. If they can’t do it I won’t be upset I’ll understand but what I want is going to be what I want period and I don’t mind certain input but it’s my decision at the end!!!
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    It's no longer just about you when you involve other people's feelings, budgets and schedules. At that point you need to consider all of that.

    The point of asking people to be in a wedding is a chance for you to honour them. Not the other way around.

    Truly this BM asked if she could get a dress (in the correct colour) that lies more within her budget and also if she could have a more flattering hairstyle. She's done nothing wrong. To kick her out would make the OP look like a major bridezilla.

    Also you didn't answer what you think would happen when the BM's grandma hears about the fact that her granddaughter has been dropped from the wedding party. SHe's also in the wedding and is funding part of it.

  • Annajean
    Beginner July 2027
    Annajean ·
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    I am Bridezilla too

  • Natalie
    Beginner August 2025
    Natalie ·
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    I guess I’m one too but I also know the individual that I chose to be a part of my wedding. They’ve been a part of my festivities for years and gave no push back. And the discussion we’ve had about my wedding have been met with zero opposition. I’m very mindful of budgets and would never want them to go broke being in my wedding. Given the friendships and connections I have a lot of discounts in many areas of my wedding. I’m far from misinformed. I said what I want and that’s that. As I said it’s a choice and if they decide not to do it then I totally understand. I’m very upfront about what is expected so before they know what they are required. It’s not their day it’s my grooms and I day and those close to us are welcome to be a part. Everyone is different so I’ll agree to disagree and my opinion has not and will not change.
  • Natalie
    Beginner August 2025
    Natalie ·
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    I’ll be that too lolol
  • C
    CM ·
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    The onus is on you to be considerate and not impose, not on your friends to push back when you do. People don’t always object for fear of upsetting a bride, even when they know she’s out of line.
  • Natalie
    Beginner August 2025
    Natalie ·
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    I agree . I don’t feel it’s out of line to request a certain look for your bridle party. Whether it’s hair makeup dress style etc. I think this brides requests are minimum. I’ve selected their dresses I have the same stylist makeup artist and nail tech for all of them. The advantage is my bridesmaid have been a part of many events I’ve had and know how I roll and not one time given any push back. They are all very excited. Hopefully the friendship remains in tact but as said it is your day and what is important to you must be important to them if they agree to be a part of it all.
  • Natalie
    Beginner August 2025
    Natalie ·
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    I do agree please understand because my bridesmaids are my very good friends and my sisters I get their feedback often. Knowing them I know what works for them and for me. I am an over the top person they call me a Diva. I am very outspoken but I do it in love and always respectful
  • Traci
    Expert May 2025
    Traci ·
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    The bride voiced some concerns to get feed back. Now folks that don't have pics or profiles is laying down rules for someone else's wedding. What is this debate about her already being married and lying to guest. Bottom line it's her day period already married or not. This is too much stating that she is over exaggerating and telling folks how long weddings last if it last for 3 weeks that's her wedding. I'm sure the money and time the bridesmaids put into is not as much as the bride and groom which means they have the final say. If she didn't buy her dress yet I would dismiss her. But that is my opinion and I understand this is her wedding. Good luck again on your wedding 3 days of pure delight.
  • C
    CM ·
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    Most scamming experts warn you not to post a photo on a public website. But you knew that already.
  • Natalie
    Beginner August 2025
    Natalie ·
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    I think that’s on both parties . I get what you’re saying but as a bride you are already overwhelmed with planing that day and to keep getting push back from your wedding party is even more stressful. So it best to eliminate that stress , no hard feelings. If you don’t want to do what’s asked it is ok to decline instead of questioning everything and going against what is requested. To some it’s mean to remove her but to me it’s just as mean to keep causing issues.
  • Vanessa
    Just Said Yes October 2026
    Vanessa ·
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    Personally me, call me crazy, I think it’s weird when bridesmaids complain about expenses. Especially because they know WAYYYY in advance!! The entitlement from bridesmaids I’ve heard about is ridiculous. The day is about the BRIDE & GROOM and what you want!! And if they can’t afford to pay for things they should step down. You were being very nice to offer to pay for hair services!! You’re already paying for food and drinks. All in all the bride and groom are literally PAYING people to be at the wedding!! But the answer to your question! I would say drop her and anybody that complains about something. It’s your day.
  • Alicia
    Savvy June 2025
    Alicia ·
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    How are you going to tell me what we’re spending on our wedding?
    How do you know what our income is? You sound jealous in this….we are doing a destination wedding so yes it will be 3 days long as we are a large family and close friends and their families and everyone going agreed they want to enjoy the trip and the distance being traveled as a vacation in itself. Those details are not your business and irrelevant to the question i originally asked.
  • Alicia
    Savvy June 2025
    Alicia ·
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    You can do it either way. Where we are, our state allows us to officiate our own license and simply sign it and file it without a ceremony, Our planner said that’s fine since we don’t reside in the state we are having our wedding we have to be married prior anyhow to perform it in a separate state then we reside. Just so you know for those interested in the details.
  • Alicia
    Savvy June 2025
    Alicia ·
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    Love the support thankyou ❤️
  • Alicia
    Savvy June 2025
    Alicia ·
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    ❤️🤭 Your day girl your day!
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