Bridemaidzilla? What’s your opinion?

View Quoted Comment Her grandmother would completely understand as i spoke with her as were very close, and her grand daughter is known to do this. She said whatever you say goes it’s your day,

View Quoted Comment Her grandmother is not funding my wedding at all, she’s responsible for her dress attire and that’s it, and makeup was optional. Her grandmother knows and has a front row seat to being taken advantage of by her grand-daughter-thus is why a 28 year old women with a job has her grandmother funding her portion…her grandmother very clearly stated it’s my day my choice after speaking with her on what i should do about her grand daughter dictating roles and the wedding style. I want modest and that’s a requirement not a request.

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In that case you are married. If you want to have a great reception, by all means have one. Wear a white dress. Spend 6K, 60K, or 600K. It can be as lavish or modest as your means and preferences dictate.

Once again, though, guests have the right to decide for themselves and prioritize accordingly. Unless you are from a culture, religion or country where it's common knowledge and everyone knows the reception typically follows shortly after the legal ceremony, or signing, good manners obligates you to let your guests know they are invited to a celebration of an existing marriage. If it's not a big deal then it's also not a big deal to be honest.

View Quoted Comment Support is better then unwanted /unhelpful advice. Have a beautiful wedding.

I think you’re confused on what the role of a bridesMAID is it’s pretty self explanatory…

View Quoted Comment LOL, that is an unfortunate and ignorant misconception which is completely untrue. The “maid” in “bridesmaid” is nothing more than a historical reference to the traditionally young, single “maidens” who made up a bride’s wedding party. It has never been a reference to a job requirement or description. The role is meant to be an honor.

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That is so trite and insulting. The maid in bridesmaid is for "maiden". Your closest friends are not your personal servants just because you're a bride. This friend does sound pushy and tiresome, but you're in charge of setting your own boundaries. Be mad at yourself. If you didn't want grandma as officiant and any WP at all, then make it happen. It's really not fair to make fun of your friend on a public forum when you can't figure out how to say no to her.

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I agree with the first part, obviously, but can't agree that the friend was all that pushy, if at all.

Letting OP know that expensive hair and makeup are not in her budget was perfectly appropriate. She's free to DIY or go to the hair and makeup person of her choice for that matter. Considering OP only asked that the dresses be a certain color, not a specific dress, there was also nothing wrong with trying to save herself or her grandmother some money by shopping resale. She only asked. If the issue was matching a certain designer's color or fabric, then that's really all OP has to say.

As for hairstyle, like hair and makeup, once again that is not traditionally something the bride gets to dictate, whether there's an offer to pay or not. It's true that a lot of bridesmaids would bite their tongues, no matter how inappropriate the requests might be, but that doesn't justify anything.

I'd tell her to get in line or get out! A warning is fair but sheesh. It's your wedding! You pick you MOH, hairstyles, dresses, etc. When I was in a wedding I didn't complain, just did as I'm told. It's a respect thing.

The way the wedding party details work out best is when you have a handful of friends who have the same tastes or perspectives as you have for your wedding and they are ready and excited to participate in the fashion you want. If they are fine with your vision for dresses, makeup, hair, and events, there is no problem. If instead you have people from different backgrounds and interests, it is best to find a balance rather than driving a wedge between you. Certainly it might be too drastic if a bridesmaid decides to dye her hair forest green for the wedding day when you dresses are pale blue. You can try for something a little closer to your vision. Otherwise, see each of them as individuals there to celebrate with you.

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It's not a job. You're asking them to be in your wedding as a sign of honor and respect to them, not to get yourself a group of yes-men servants who follow your every command. Get in line or get out? I'd be getting out. Quickly. And never speaking to you again.

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Actually no, you're confused. It doesn't mean "maid" in the way you're interpreting it. It's troubling if it's really what you think of your nearest and dearest people. I'm hoping you're joking.

The role in the wedding party is a chance for you to spotlight or honour those people who have been important and dear to you in your life.

View Quoted Comment Yes i was being morbid in my joke, since people have been quite offended here by my question. 🤌🏼

I say it's your wedding and whatever you are asking they should

Respect whatever your wishes are regardless of who's paying. Me, I would kick her out. It shouldn't be a negotiation on what you want.

Hm. Telling me I must be confused on what the role of a bridesMAID is and that it’s pretty self-explanatory didn’t much sound like you meant it as a joke. Trolling, perhaps, but I’m not sure I buy it was meant that way until it was suggested to you. Either the humor doesn’t translate too well online or you backtracked when it turned out you were mistaken.


As for those saying kick her out, that’s pretty sad.

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I agree with this. This is all just sad for so many to say kick her out. She has done nothing wrong. This isn't even a wedding.

Using the military as an excuse is equally as bad.

It is shocking the number of people nowadays who are so willing to have basic manners go to the wayside.

View Quoted Comment Very big opinion Sandy…are you even familiar with military lifestyles? We are on our Pcs season so unfortunately nothing for me is set in stone including my wedding. Sorry that upsets you. It’s not an excuse it’s sadly a lifestyle we endure as a family and just how it works out for us this time around during our wedding planner period.

View Quoted Comment Nope no backtracking hun. Just sarcasm but that doesn’t sit well with many because you have too many opinions and don’t know when to stop commenting…this is like your 5th comment on here…Anyways EVERYONE! GOOD NEWS! Problem has been solved. Our agreed shopping date! IS STILL SET for December after we visit with our planner then family for the holidays. We all agreed we are sticking to the shopping plans for my bridesmaids and my mother. Her grandmother is in fact purchasing her dress on her behalf while i cover hair with makeup optional. Grandmother offered to pay makeup. She was not aware of her grand daughter suggesting to thrift the dress since she had already agreed to pay for her dress for her. This bridesmaid was put in her place that she agreed and admitted she has a habit of trying to take over but doesn’t mean to try to be the center of the attention as this isn’t her first time or friend she has done this to. It was talked out agreed we’d keep things modest with a hair up design that is simple as that is why she’s only being charged $100 for hair vs what i’m paying as the bride…Fees are based on complexity. Which all i had to explain. CM you are very invested so i wanted to tell you this directly, As for her dress she will wear what i decide because its my wedding my family and my reputation and hers im protecting by not dressing trashy with her boobs half out, which is more her taste then mine. Her grandmother fully agrees a wedding which also has a religious ceremony is not the place to dress with a low cut neckline in a southern bible belt state which is where our wedding is occuring.


Thankyou for all your input and attacks. Yes my wedding is $60,000 and i don’t care that i’m not a celebrity sorry to disappoint whoever commented that. Yes, my bridesmaid absolutely overstepped as she always does, once again, this time i chose to not tolerate it. Yes, we are doing what the bride wants and only what ME the bride wants because well none of you are paying for it so you shouldn’t be so angry!
Thank you all you gorgeous ladies brides and bridesmaids for the supportive comments! ❤️❤️❤️❤️You are all wonderful in your own way. Happy to have resolved this with your support and the support of my wedding planning team and my vendor’s knowledge of the norms.

View Quoted Comment Thankyou Michael, yes i understand. We just want to opt for simple and modest with any gifted accessories i give each bride to spice up their look, Everyone’s finally in agreement. Thanks for your kind input.