Brides, how are your parents reacting to the current situation?

My parents have expressed no hesitation with coming. They can wear a mask and don't have to be within 6 ft of anyone besides me and FH if they don't want to. If you can guarantee that to your parents, I can't see why they wouldn't want to come. Then again, everyone has their own comfort level with this stuff.

The most important people at the wedding are you and FH, and you need to do what works for you. They might not be comfortable coming to a wedding for another year. I say go forward, offer safety measures to them, and hope they come around--I bet they will.

I’m so sorry! I think your family should be more supportive, but I don’t know what to say 🤷🏼‍♀️
I hope they do come. A wedding is a big milestone in someone’s life no matter the outside circumstances. ❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I was just thinking about how the last picture I have of my parents and sister together was when I was like 4 and I had wrote it down that I wanted a picture with them on my wedding day. Now I don’t think that’ll even happen. I’m just hoping like crazy things will be better by Oct and even Feb where we have postponed

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I do have a tendency to try to accommodate people too much but I think I just need to lay out the safety measures and just leave it to them

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That's all you can do. Everyone has a different comfort level, so explain what you're doing to insure their safety and let them make their own decisions. But you are absolutely right to feel stressed or hurt, don't let anyone invalidate those feelings. At the end of the day, I hope they're able to come but try to be understanding if they don't.

I can understand their concerns. We’ve had to shift plans due to FMIL’s health and do what’s best for them and put everyone else first. It was hard to do because we had planned and has this vision. Rather than trying to decide on what to do, we included them in our decision-making to see what plan or scenario they would feel most comfortable with.

I’m so sorry in the loss of your future FIL. I completely understand that you are disappointed in your parents’ hesitation in coming to your courthouse wedding. For what it’s worth, I’m in the same boat. My parents are hesitant about coming to our very small wedding this year, and it’s sad to think they might not be there. But, my dad is 65 and has high blood pressure - two high risk factors for complications. So I understand their perspective and respect it. I’d rather be able to celebrate with them later than risk losing them to COVID because they traveled. Good luck ❤️

One of my FSIL told us that she will not be attending our wedding due to covid. She said she will change her mind if things change but I am skeptical. The FH family all are traveling from OH to FL for the wedding. The other sister still hasn’t responded yet. My FILs have already said they will be here no matter what. I am feeling upset because if his sisters don’t come, his parents will be the only family that he has at the ceremony. Also, I have met his sisters once and it was due to their father passing last year. This is my FH second wedding and I feel a bit insecure that don’t like me since I will be wife #2. I don’t have any siblings and I was hoping to use this wedding as a way to connect with my “sisters”. I feel like I may be overreacting but we have been planning the wedding since Feb 2019. I don’t want to postpone unless I am forced.

Take this for what it's worth, but I think every single person gets to decide for themselves what they want to do in light of the pandemic and shouldn't be made to feel guilty for it. If you choose to have a wedding during COVID, then you should also choose to be understanding when guests decline. I love my sister with all my heart. She is my best friend. But if she had her wedding right now, I would say no. I have a family who counts on me and I don't want to get sick from this thing. Dying is one thing because I have life insurance, but even those who survive have chronic illness and some are disabled for life. If I am one of the unfortunate ones who ends up in the ICU or who has chronic lung disease or neurologic symptoms that make me unable to work (which is happening to a lot of people who survive), who's going to care for my children or pay for them to go to college or be there on their wedding day? I wouldn't ask loved ones to risk that when they're hesitant.

View Quoted Comment I'm so sorry you're going through this. Since they live nearby, even if they're not willing to go into city hall for the ceremony, would you consider asking them to meet you outside of it afterward for a (masked, possibly socially distanced) picture? At least that way you'd get your picture and they'd be acknowledging your wedding day in some way.

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This is exactly what I was going to say. I completely understand why you're upset - they're your family! But at the same time, you get to be married how you want to be married, and the best you can do is offer them the plan and leave it up to them. I hope you find some peace with it!

I am so sorry to hear about your FH father. I can’t imagine being directly affected bu this pandemic in that way. Maybe you can explicitly explain the details, number in attendance, social distancing plans, masks etc. so that they have a clear image of the plans. Is your family not going in public at all right now? Do they not go to the store, etc? Just an idea... since you’re doing an intimate courthouse ceremony, is having an officiant marry you outdoors at a park, beach, etc. an option? It’s the same concept. But perhaps being outside would ease some of you family’s concern.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Yes they do go out but only for groceries/dr appt but they try to do everything very fast and early in the morning. The courthouse even told us they are not allowed to do inside ceremonies at this time. But that it may change come Oct. I would love an outdoor ceremony so it works out but also like having the option of indoor in case it rains.


It also makes me sad because I would like to have a little mini celebration at a restaurant afterwards. Outside preferably for everyone’s comfort. I’m not going to get all done up, get married, take pictures then go home. All I would like is just like some appetizers and a drink for everyone to toast in celebration. I find it very frustrating because my MOH and everyone on his side that is in attendance is fine with this after celebration. My family is not. They don’t feel comfortable taking off their masks to eat. It’s just unfortunate because I understand and will not force them into anything they are uncomfortable with but just the principle of not having my family there while I celebrate my marriage.

View Quoted Comment I can suggest that. This whole situation is so awful I would have liked our picture to be mask free only because I don’t want to look back at them and instantly think of this time. But I know I Will not make them uncomfortable, so I have to sacrifice

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I’m feeling better now!

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry that this is happening! This is such an awful time. Wedding planning is stressful enough as is. I truly think people who are not wedding planning don’t understand the stress brides are under. It’s just hard for them to empathize.


I do hope things work out for you!

View Quoted Comment At an outdoor event with plenty of space, there should be no problem eating. I have a very high risk family member (lung disease, will not survive a respiratory infection), and her doctor has signed off on seeing friends outdoors and 6 feet+ away because the risk of getting it from someone else outside far away is so low. Maybe they would feel more comfortable if a doctor walked them through some of the transmission characteristics so they know that an outdoor, actually distanced event presents pretty much zero risk.


Maybe you and FS could also get tests beforehand?

Normally I don't judge anyone's feelings on the risk because this is so difficult, but your family seems to be overestimating the risk of transmission to an un-scientific level.

View Quoted Comment It’s funny you say that! My mom and sister are nurses! My mom isn’t bedside anymore but she does instruction. This is why is boggles my mind on how they are reacting.

View Quoted Comment Okay yeah that just baffles me

View Quoted Comment Your feelings are totally understandable. But what I’ve realized in this pandemic is that everyone has a different level of comfort and a different gauge on what they will do/won’t do right now. These are crazy times and this pandemic is out of our control. So, really only focus on the things you CAN control. If they can’t come, it might require what a lot of others are doing which is live streaming the wedding for them to watch online. Best wishes and either way it will all work out.