Brides over 40

The number one rule is that no one will be as excited about your wedding as you are.

Also, it's up to you and your FH/FW to plan your wedding, not your friends and family.

Personally, I don't want anyone involved and can do everything myself. Just show up on the day and enjoy yourself.

My FH and I are both over 40, and both have been married before. I am handling most of the details and he gives his input. We decided on a destination wedding in Maui and a luau for the reception. It has turned into a once in a lifetime family vacation as well. This is about you and your spouse... make it reflect the 2 of you.

We were married about 6 weeks before my 40th birthday. H is 46. First marriage for both of us. Here are some suggestions that we heard:

At your age why don't you just have a brunch and call it a day?

Just do it in your backyard...you don't need anything big.

Can you even wear white?

@Kristin this is my second marrage. My first was at city hall. I had always planned a big wedding and now that im with FH who is 7 yrs younger he really wants a wedding. This time around i was okay with just having a small wedding then a big party in the summer afterwards.

ETA: your getting married on my B-day

The initial lack of interest in our wedding was probably a blessing. Not a whole lot of unsolicited suggestions As our date nears, a lot of folks are inquiring n offering to help now which is welcomed. We have much planned they way FH n I want. Can be frustrating when asking for help n you get the 'IDK'.

I will be 38 when we get married and my family is thrilled. My Dad has been waiting for this moment for a loooong time, so even though I am "older" he is treating it the same as if I were 25. I am sorry you are not getting the reaction you were hoping for. Maybe it's not because you are older but because your Mom is just used to more simple affairs. Enjoy planning what you have been waiting for. It's your one and only wedding! Congratulations!

I'm sorry you're getting that. ..I haven't heard any of those responses and we're both 41....but I also haven't expected anyone to help. I know it is totally more important to me than anyone else plus I'm a control freak. ...so FH and I are planning everything. My parents helped financially but we're also keeping it modest. Just be excited for yourself and everyone else should follow. If they aren't....than screw 'em.

DH and I are both in our 40's and both had been married before. My first wedding, in 2000 was a bigger affair than I wanted and his was a JP somewhere. He wanted the big wedding. Honestly, this wedding was bigger and better than my first, and it was just how we wanted it. I did hire a planner, and nobody had any responsibilities associated other than fittings. We did wonder if it should have been smaller because we are older and had been married before, but honestly, we figured "eff it. We are paying for it, we are planning it, and it will be awesome." And it was.

Do exactly what you want to. Treat your guests right and have a good time and who cares if people think your wedding was "too much for your age." That is dumb.

@ sarah I hope it turns out to be a good birthday for you in 200 days . It is also the day before my late mothers birthday. We wanted to get married mid week but just not on her birthday.

We have totally planned a day above and beyond what we could have ever imagined. The best part I think is that being older we do not have all the budget issues and can add things at will. Now that we have what we would like we really want to focus on those coming. like Tami this destination wedding will be a trip of a life time for the whole family. We are renting a large event home for two weeks with 3 chefs. We really need people to look at menus. I am going to start just dropping in unexpected and raiding fridges soon to see what they drink! We are kind of the peace makers in the family and the ones that like to throw a good party. The day/weeks will be so much more joyous seeing all those we love enjoying every moment(as long as no one gets a concussion this year)!

Please note a courthouse wedding IS a real wedding. Just because it's not a large and or sparkly affair doesn't make it any less of the beginning of a marriage.

I think you took that the wrong way Shiny....

My FH was married at a court house. My FH did not have a real wedding. A wedding is getting married and having a party after. He did not have this and cant wait to this time around.

No disrespect intended.

marriage.

1.the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship:

wedding.

a marriage ceremony, especially considered as including the associated celebrations.

Don't feel that way. I love, love, love my "older" brides. You'll plan everything yourself and you'll call your own shots. Which is great.

Older bride, I'll by 47 and first for both. My mother isn't that interested either. We are paying for it by ourselves and totally planning on our own with little advice from others. Just go with the flow and let it happen your own way.

@Kristin-a wedding is what happens when you get married no matter how big or small it is, nor where you get married. If your FH eloped the first time around, that was his wedding. It is extremely disrespectful to refer to elopements and courthouse weddings as "not weddings".

OP - FH and I are in our early 30s, and his mom keeps telling us that we are spending too much and that she only spent a couple thousand dollars on her wedding 40 years ago. A lot has changed since then. It sounds like you are going to have an amazing wedding! Congratulations!

@krclark7---just for curiosity I looked at $**** dollars and that's over $8500 in today's buying power

@ kittycow - That's a good chunk of change. Most of my family did the church and fellowship hall with tea sandwiches, cake and punch. 300 would have been a lot

FH and I are both in our 50s, second wedding for him and first for me. My family is very excited.