Brides - Tell Me Your Favorites and Fails

I think one of the biggest lessons learned is to be careful having dates engraved too much in advance on anything during this time of Covid. Daughter had save the dates, then change the dates, then change of venue...

View Quoted Comment That’s great insight! How far in advance were her dates? We’re looking at getting married in the next 6-8 months.

Favorites: My bridal look! I picked out my dress and veil by myself and actually went against my mom and MOH’s choices for accessories. I’m so glad I did because I 100% adored the way I looked and didn’t bow to pressure from anyone.
Also, our venue and food! We specifically chose a beautiful high end resort where we knew we would need minimal decor, and that provided top-tier onsite catering. People still randomly tell us we had the best wedding food they’ve ever had.

Fails: I let myself get talked out of a DOC, and so wish I hadn’t! Also, my florals. My initially responsive florist became super unresponsive and wouldn’t do virtual floral specs, even though I said I’d pay $$$ for them. I ended up hating my bouquet and my bridesmaids’ bouquets, which ended up being fine because the florist was super late delivering them and the only pics we got with them are our processional/recessional shots. I wish I went with a pricier, more professional operation and got to design florals I loved.

Favs: Wedding planner has been the BIGGEST lifesaver ever, I really couldn't imagine doing it without her. I'm obsessed with my bridal look (which was custom made and WAY cheaper than buying in store) We splurged on Photo/video and that is the vendor I am most excited about!

Fails: Not explicitly saying what people could have a say in before accepting financial help. We have been through a LOT (including almost canceling the whole thing) because we accepted money for the wedding from family and then fought because they wanted a say in certain things that we didn't think they should have a say in.

So my advice to all brides, if someone offers you money, even if there have never been issues before, talk about what that means in terms of what they can have a say in and what you have full control over before you accept the help.

View Quoted Comment

Kylie, thanks for sharing! I’ve been on the fence about a planner for the full process; but this spoke to my gut feeling of needing a DOC. Even if we had a smaller wedding, I don’t want any of those questions or coordinating things coming to me 😂

View Quoted Comment Thanks JA! I’m curious what steps you took to make something custom? I have a shop in mind where I’ve had my eye on getting a dress; but I’m not opposed to trying this route either!

View Quoted Comment

First I went in and tried on a bunch of dresses and took a ton of pictures of elements I liked from the dresses. I had my eye on the skirt of a particular dress that was about 12K, so that was not in my budget (plus I didn't like the top of the dress) I have previously worked in an industry where we got custom dresses for our performers all the time from a few different designers. I reached out to one of them and sent pictures and the timeline and asked if they could make it and they said yes! A dress that would have cost anywhere from 10-18k in store ended up being about 800 Euro. I was shocked! A lot of the expense from dresses is based on the name of the designer and the exclusivity. Also, I found that going custom I could pick still wonderful and comfortable but not luxurious fabrics that brought the cost down a bit. Plus it is made to size and I only need very minor alterations.

But anyway, here are my suggested steps:

Try on dresses (even WAY outside of your price point) to see what you want, take a ton of pictures.

Contact a few designers either locally or through Etsy (there are so many amazing small businesses!! Just check reviews and instagrams!)

View Quoted Comment JA this is wonderful information! Thank you so much 🙌🏽

Favs: choose a venue that fits your vision and comes with extras (better location, plenty of parking for guests, day of coordinator) because you’ll be desperate for any conveniences you’ll get when you’re stressed out. Choose a great photographer with a 2nd shooter. The photos are will capture those incredible moments with your spouse, family & friends. Provide great food and drinks, it’s the only thing guests really care about (and not being too hot or too cold).


Fails: DIY does not equal less money and it’s a ton of work. We budgeted $1200 for DIY decor and those little $5-$20 items and supplies added up to $4K! 🤦‍♀️ Nobody notices details anyway. Get a massage or something nice to yourself the week of, stress and arguments can happen and some R&R can make your life easier and wedding planning more fun.

View Quoted Comment Her wedding was originally June 2020 and sent STDs about 7 months before. At that time she started getting items engraved and signs made with their wedding date and then Covid hit. She changed her date to August and sent out the new date. Then her venue still could not open and she had to find another one and again send out change of venue notifications. She already spent enough on "change of..." mailings and didn't want to spend anymore having items engraved again with new date so many things still had the June date for her August wedding. I'm sure many Covid brides have similar stories!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for these! After we got pictures back from our engagement I was fully convinced to have great photography/videography 🙌🏽 My fiancé is also a photographer.
I am not a DIY bride at all 😆 so that’s great to keep in mind!

View Quoted Comment Ugh I can only imagine how frustrating that was 😩 Thanks for breaking down they timeline!

View Quoted Comment Oh yay! Glad you’ll make photos a priority! 📸


Ha ha, then no worries on DIY. You’ll be fine there.

Faves:

- First look with my bridesmaids. My husband and I wanted to do a traditional walk down the aisle but I still wanted to do a first look with someone and decided to do it with my girls! Although we were together all getting ready, they didn't know what my dress looked like or what the full version with my hair and makeup would be. It honestly was such a great/emotional moment to see them all glammed up in their outfits and for them to see me in mine

- hair and makeup trial- I wavered a lot on this mainly because I didn't want to waste money on a trial, but in the last few weeks before my wedding, I caved. I'm someone who is really bad with knowing how to express what I want for hair and makeup, and after my trial, it was easier for me to see what I liked/disliked and what I wanted to change. My final look was perfection and I felt so beautiful because it ended up becoming what I envisioned.

- My venue- Our venue was the one thing we didn't want to compromise on. The food, the decor, the atmosphere was exactly what we were looking for, and we knew it was the one when we walked in. Even though we could have chosen another venue for a summer wedding, we opted to go with our venue during a less than ideal month for us because it fit our dream. I would 100% do this again!

Fails:

- Not sure if it's necessarily a fail, but take that last week to really enjoy the time with your family and friends. I lived with my family before my wedding and that last week was definitely stressful in trying to get things done, that I didn't get to spend those last few days just being fully present around my parents and my sister. It wasn't until the day before the wedding (when I finally said if it's done it's done, but i'm done stressing!) that I really just enjoyed myself with my girls, my immediate family, and some of my extended family. It was one of the highlights of my weekend of just eating together, exchanging stories etc. I wish I had spent more of my week doing that instead of stressing out!

- MARRIAGE LICENSE- OMG please make sure you do this! We filled and submitted our application on time within the month before our wedding, but in the chaos of everything completely forgot to pick it up, and of course only remembered the day before the wedding when the town registrar was already closed. Que the freakout mode lol. things worked out in the end, but definitely make multiple reminders in your phone/calendar!

View Quoted Comment Kylie - why do you regret not having a DOC? I am so torn as well! The venue coordinator said I didn't need one as she would be doing that stuff.

Congratulations!! It's so exciting but overwhelming at the same time.
Some things I learned:
- Always follow your gut instincts whether it's about a vendor, dress, decor, who to ask to be in your bridal party, etc. Don't cave to pressure if your gut is telling its not the right thing for you.- You get what you pay for. If the price of something seems too good to be true there's a reason for it. Some things are worth the cost. We decided we didn't want to skimp on the venue. It was worth every penny. The grounds were gorgeous for pictures, there was a beautiful gazebo for the ceremony it was part of a hotel so no transportation worries, the food was amazing and the venue had a coordinator who helped us every step of the way especially day of. We didn't have to lift a finger day of. Everything was perfect!!- Leave plenty of time for alterations. Long story short, my dress was destroyed during alterations and I had a week to get another dress and have the alterations done. It all worked out in the end but it was an added stress I didn't need the week of!- Photography/videography - these are your memories for years to come!! Don't trust them to someone's phone camera, though those are good to have too.- All those little details you stress over? No one cares! lol seriously no one will notice what color napkins you have. Focus your energy on the important things.- Most importantly enjoy yourself!! Enjoy the process of planning and everything leading up to the day. But most especially enjoy yourself that day! You worked hard to get there. Things will go wrong, it's ok. The important thing is you're marrying the love of your life. What could be better than that?! Your guests will feed off your energy. If you're having a great time so will they. I swear we didn't stop smiling all day. Good luck!!

View Quoted Comment

Thanks Sherin! I love so many things that you shared here. I've been extremely torn about the first look unfortunately; and that's such a fun way you chose to do it! And yes - what you get for the cost of your venue has been one of, if not the most difficult part so far. When I realize a place comes with a bunch of rentals and too much of a blank canvas, it's deterring to say the least.

Also I live with my parents as well, and will be until we get married; so the reminder to be present with them is a great one

View Quoted Comment

Thank you Sharon! My goodness I cannot imagine what that was like with the dress fiasco. I'm so glad everything came together in the end! That gut instinct you mentioned has also kicked in with a few vendors and is very real haha.

You and a couple others have mentioned not skimping on the venue. Would you say that this has more to do with all-inclusiveness or the aesthetics of it (or both!)?

View Quoted Comment It depends on what's important to you. For us it was both. The venue was beautiful so we didn't have to worry about decor and our centerpieces could be very simple (in other words not too expensive lol). They had in-house catering (which was delicious!), they provided tables chairs, linens and as I mentioned an in-house coordinator as well as a bridal attendant day of. So worth the money.

View Quoted Comment

I needed to hear this today! We've had all of our vendors booked for awhile now, but I haven't worked on any of the details. I need to figure out flowers and music next and then all the little things. We're getting married on May 7, 2022 and I've been putting off planning until the new year. I'm picking up my wedding dress on Thursday and I'm really stressed out about it for some reason. I'm worried I won't like it anymore or like how I look in it.