Brides - Tell Me Your Favorites and Fails

View Quoted Comment That’s exactly what my venue coordinator said. In addition to not doing the venue coordinator tasks properly, I had no help with the timeline for the day, no vendor coordination and no professional to bounce ideas off of the month leading to our wedding. It just would have been really nice having someone work for me that I could trust to run the day smoothly.

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Thanks Kylie. My wedding officiant actually is doing 3 ceremonies at my venue in the New Year and said she'll report back to me how SHE felt the venue coordinator did LOLOL One of the reason I booked that officiant .... we became, like, instant friends after meeting and talking. LOLOL

View Quoted Comment Good luck with your dress!! It's amazing the stress this one clothing item can cause us lol. It's so normal to stress about it because a) It's a lot of money for one outfit and b) let's face it, it can make or break how beautiful we feel that day. I hope you still love it and everything goes well. Post a picture of you in your dress! I love seeing everyone 's dresses.

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Thank you! I'm afraid to post a picture because I don't want my FH to accidentally see it! I'll private message you a link to the dress I got though!

#1 favorite: getting legally married in private before our "big" wedding. I honestly ended up hating the whole experience of our "big day" so I will forever be glad we had a private courthouse "wedding" that I actually enjoyed!

Other favorites:

#2) on the "big day," pretty much everything that mattered for the guest experience went really well. Food was delicious, music was great, etc.

#3) I added a lot of personalized details like designing a wedding logo that had meaning tying together both of our cultures / backgrounds and adding a little card to our programs that explained the meaning of it. Also added a favorite song lyric to each table number and had a few creative framed signs, etc. I don't know how many people really noticed and took all that stuff in, but a few commented to me about it and I know I'll look back on those details fondly even if nobody else noticed or cared.

#4) hiring a day-of coordinator. I pulled the trigger really late on this once I realized how much stuff we were bringing in ourselves and I really didn't even have that much DIY stuff, but it adds up. No idea how I would've gotten everything set up without her.

#5) I asked BMs to pick their own dresses from wherever they wanted as long as they were floor length and dark red - loved how that turned out and glad I didn't have to deal with the stress of coordinating dress orders / picking out a designer, color and price point for everyone, etc. The variation in shades and fabric textures looks great in the photos, IMO.

Now, the fails (sorry, there are a lot more of these so I hope they are helpful for planning!):

#1) FH got COVID 3 weeks before the wedding (bachelor party travel). If either of you are traveling within a couple months of your wedding, I *highly* recommend isolating from one another after you get back until you can test. Even if the partner who gets it doesn't get super sick and only has to isolate for 10 days, if they infect the other partner then *their* isolation starts at least a few days later, pushing their recovery date closer to the wedding. Continuous testing to determine if you have to cancel your wedding last-minute is NOT fun.

That #1 fail pretty much caused everything else that went "wrong" bc it took my focus away from the things I otherwise would've done in those last 3 weeks. But, here are some specific things I would've done differently even if the COVID fiasco hadn't happened:

#2) not speaking up when I noticed there was something I didn't like about my dress. I had a V neck that dipped semi-low in the back, and when I tried on the sample it was several sizes too big so they had it clipped up, which made the "V" shape going down my back pretty narrow - very flattering. In my size though, the shoulder straps were much farther off to each side, creating a wider "V" which made my back look (IMO) oddly wide and slumped. I think I noticed this the first time I tried the dress on in my size, but didn't say anything bc I was hoping I was just being neurotic. I didn't figure out why it looked different from the first try-on until my last fitting. If I'd said something right away, who knows, maybe they could've adjusted a bit.

#3) not having a better plan for how I wanted getting ready with my BMs to go. I told them they could arrive within 30 min of their appt time slots so they could sleep in if they had a later appt - but that meant I had to play traffic director as they each arrived and needed to be told which room to go to in the inn where FH and I were staying. I should've either told everyone to get there at the same time or designated someone else to show them around, or both. Also, maybe bc of COVID, no one stayed in the room before / after their appts - just floated throughout the inn. I really wanted to spend the whole morning with my BMs and instead I hardly saw them - the whole morning was stressful and lonely. I wish I had asked everyone in advance if they'd be cool all hanging out in the same room provided we'd all tested before, etc. If not, I could have at least prepared myself for that and maybe not been so disappointed the day of.

#4) not reminding BMs individually to bring a black leather jacket or waist length black cardigan for outdoor photos. I wanted this to be low maintenance so they could likely use something they already had, but about half forgot or put it off. Eventually they all found something to use, but a few ended up with wraps/shawls that didn't help keep them warm and one was in a puffer jacket that didn't look right with the formal dresses. I should've either reminded them each individually closer to the wedding, provided the jackets myself, or at least purchased a few backups in various sizes that I could return after the wedding if no one needed them. This one is so minor in the grand scheme of things, but bc I didn't end up getting a single photo with my BMs indoors, the somewhat chaotic looking jackets / wraps are in every BP photo and I do regret that a little.

#5) trying to be so considerate of vendors that I didn't ask for what really mattered to me. I didn't want outdoor photos - picked our venue for the interior, not the grounds, plus it was cold outside. But I went along with taking 100% of our portraits outside bc some vendors were still setting up in the ceremony / reception space (all one big room). I'm now incredibly sad that I won't have any portraits in the space I dreamed about for so long, AND as noted above I got no photos of my BMs in their dresses without the jackets, AND being outside for that long made my hair go flat and scraggly, so I actually hate a lot of our photos / video bc of that.

#6) not experimenting more with hairstyles that might be more weather resistant / getting pics from lots of different angles after my trials (especially under natural light outside) so I'd really know how everything would show up. I liked my trials, but there are a few things I would've changed if I'd taken more realistic test photos and especially video.

#7) not making sure someone knew how to pin my veil and comb into my hairstyle! Our day-of coordinator finally got it to stay right before I walked down the aisle, but it was falling out during all our pre-ceremony photos, and that shows in some of them and in the video.

#8) I told our photographer about my "good side" but don't think I told the videographer, so there are a lot of angles I consider "bad" of me in the wedding video and as a result, it's a little hard for me to watch. Which is such a shame because it's a beautiful video in every other way.

#9) trusting the shuttle bus company on the schedule. The hotel pickup time sounded too early, but I thought we should err on the side of that vs. guests not arriving in time for the ceremony. NOPE. We were running late anyway, so when we finished pre-ceremony pictures we walked through the venue and our coordinator called for a golf cart / tram to take me and the BMs back to the inn where we'd gotten ready. When we walked outside about half our wedding guests were standing there bc the shuttles had already dropped off, but the venue wasn't allowing guests inside yet, so they were out there waiting in the cold. I have no clue how long that went on, afraid to ask. I feel horrible about how uncomfortable our guests must have been, AND it was incredibly awkward having everyone see me before the ceremony and start cheering like I was making some sort of grand entrance at a time when they def weren't supposed to see me. To make it worse, we had to sit on a golf cart waiting for a good 5 min in front of all those guests bc not all the BMs had gotten the message that we were leaving so we had to wait for someone to run inside and grab them. Horribly, painfully awkward! If you're doing on-location pre-ceremony photos, definitely have a detailed plan for how you will get photos done and guests into the venue WITHOUT anyone seeing you before OR guests having to wait outside in bad weather.

#10) so minor, but forgetting to set aside one of our invites and some faux flowers and/or ask my florist for a few loose blooms to use for my bridal details / flat lays. Hate that I forgot that.

#11) being too stressed and busy with last-minute details to take good care of myself physically in the last few weeks before the wedding. Nails were brittle and kept breaking so I ended up hating my manicure, didn't do the at-home spa treatments I had planned on, etc. - I could've set some of the last-minute details aside, accepted that some things wouldn't get done, and focused on my own physical and mental health instead.

#12) assuming my FH had taken at least a few days off of work and would be able to help me with said last-minute stuff! I took the whole week off leading up to the wedding, he only took Thursday and Friday - and we had a semi-destination wedding on a Saturday, so we left home on Friday and everything really had to be done by Thursday night. It caused a lot of tension between us, which obviously did not help my mindset and stress levels going into the big day. He was just clueless about wedding prep - I wish I had just told him when we booked our date that he needed to request PTO for the week of the wedding, like NOW.

Sorry for the diatribe - I hope at least some of that is helpful!

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Elizabeth thank you so, so much for sharing all of this! There were a few things that stood out to me: 1) I've always dreamed of the same things with my bridesmaids as far as getting ready with them all. I didn't think that to not bring it up might indirectly cause people doing their own thing. That's just a great thing to keep in mind. 2) I would've never thought of keeping an extra invitation and loose flower for pictures! Taking note. 3) Transportation is the biggest question mark for me. Do you mind giving some insight on this? Thankfully the venue we're looking at is 2 blocks away from a Marriott hotel, where most of our guests will likely be staying. What are the typical expectations for guests and transportation?

View Quoted Comment Good, I’m glad that was useful and not just completely overwhelming! 😂


1. Putting food in the area where you’re getting ready, and only in that area, might help… LOL. I had food downstairs, getting ready upstairs and I think people were partly just gravitating toward the kitchen. Plus the room was a little small for a big BP (I had 10 BM’s plus a junior BM). If you make sure the space can fit your BP with enough room for everyone to lounge around, eat and drink, etc., you probably won’t have the same issue.
2. Definitely ask your photographer for examples once you book, and/or when you’re researching photographers ask to see examples of a full wedding gallery. You’ll probably see some example flat lays which will give you ideas of what you want to include in yours and you can set those items aside ahead of time. You certainly don’t have to include an invitation or florals, it just helps bring in your wedding colors if that’s something you’d want since those photos are otherwise just your shoes, accessories etc.
3. Generally speaking, my understanding is there’s no official etiquette saying you have to arrange transportation such as shuttle services for guests, it’s just a nice gesture you can offer. In our case we did bc our wedding was about an hour to an hour and a half from where we and most of our guests live, and the hotels were ~15 min from the venue, so for those who chose to stay overnight we really wanted to make it as convenient as we could. Uber/Lyft were also tough to get in the area, so shuttles were pretty necessary if we wanted people to be able to have a few drinks at the reception and still get back safely.
In your case it seems unnecessary to offer transportation for a 2 block walk, but I suppose guests would appreciate it if it happens to be pouring rain or otherwise bad weather, especially if they’ll be in formal clothes. I would just talk to the hotel, let them know you are interested in a room block there if you haven’t already, and find out what type of shuttle service people typically arrange to your venue if any. You may be able to arrange just one shuttle for the few guests who might take advantage in poor weather, or you may not even need to arrange anything bc the hotel may have its own smaller shuttle that would be sufficient given how many of your guests would really end up taking that 2 block ride. I may be a little biased here as I’m mostly a city girl, but I’d do a 2 block walk in formal clothes without even blinking unless it was really rainy / crazy wind or snow… and in that case, I wouldn’t expect the bride and groom to have free transport available for me, I’d just call an Uber/Lyft and sheepishly tell the driver that I know it’s only 2 blocks but I can’t make it down the street in these shoes. 😂

View Quoted Comment That’s great to know! I love that the hotel is so close, so that was a bonus when we picked the venue. Hopefully weather is food because I would enjoy the walk too 😊

I definitely urged for a good photographer and spending the money [if they have it] for one.

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May 14th and same! I need to get it together. haha.

View Quoted Comment Yes! We have a great photographer lined up, and now the debate is whether videography is worth it 😆

I dont get married until next September but I already am absolutely in love with our venue!! They have been amazing so far and every time I have contacted them to ask a question or make a payment they have been super responsive. Also almost every single vendor we are using is one they had a pamphlet or ad for at the initial meeting (all super reasonable prices and been responsive so far). Downsides so far is not being more firm with my future father in law earlier in the process (he waited until after save the dates went out to give me a list of family members on his side he would like to see there 🙄). Also doing alot of my decorations by myself because Im going off the beaten path a little and while I enjoy doing them it can be a little overwhelming looking at the list of everything thats left.

View Quoted Comment We absolutely love our venue as well, so I know the feeling 😍 As far as people coming, we’re realizing too the parent-guest-list is a thing 😅 So our wedding of initially 100 is looking closer to 125-140 with invites.

View Quoted Comment Im looking similarly adjusted numbers as well!! Luckily our venue comes with tables and chairs for 300 if needed not that we are trying to hit that many.

View Quoted Comment I cannot agree with this more!! I had 3 dates and intimately a cancellation. I spent so much money having things remade because I was certain my new dates would work out. In the end I ended up scratching it out with a sharpie because I didn’t want to spend anymore.

View Quoted Comment My eyes go cross thinking of a 300 person wedding 😂 Our venue is capped at 150 which is the absolute most I could handle!

The last few weddings I’ve attended, the speeches stood out as being way too long and tedious. There were a couple with stacks of paper, reading for what felt like forever. Reading with your head down, for a long time is a bore. Most people tune out after a couple of mins. Advise speech givers to stick to a 2 minute max. Don’t bore us…get to the chorus.

View Quoted Comment We’re not doing speeches at all during the reception for this very reason! We’re saving them for the rehearsal dinner which will be a smaller setting where people will actually care/listen 🙌🏽

Congrats!! Welcome to the planning process I'm a newlywed of 2 1/2 months after having to reschedule twice because of Covid. The final product of our wedding was incredible and amazing, in ways I can't even describe. If I had to pick out my favorite, I would strongly recommend a DIY photo booth. My sister-in-law put it together for us: background, props, lights, etc. Then we had everyone use their own phones! When you have a paid photo booth, there's no guarantee that your pictures will actually look good when they come back. This way, everyone could take as many pictures as they want, and because each person/group had their own phone, there wasn't that big of a line.

As for things I wished I'd never done, I can't really say there was in my wedding that I wouldn't do again. All of our vendors were great, especially in being patient each time we had to reschedule.

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Edit: I had given advice to start planning quickly but i missed you had some comments saying you had a bunch of stuff lined up. NVM!