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Just Said Yes June 2021

Brides who postponed... Guest Lists and Invitations??

Mari, on December 30, 2020 at 10:18 AM Posted in Planning 3 7

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Hi y'all! As is the common adage, I was a June 2020 bride and we made the decision last March to postpone to June 2021. So 6 months out I am picking the wedding planning baton back up. Thankfully the majority of the planning is done and I've maintained all of my big vendors, but the problem in my side right now is the Guest List.

We sent out our original Save the Dates in September 2019 and then a postponement notice in March 2020. A lot has changed since then, both of us have changed jobs, people in long term relationships have broken up, and with COVID, there are some folks on our list that we haven't seen or talked to in essentially a year.

For 90% of our list, I would say there would be no change, but for the 10% of people that it almost kind of feels weird to send an invitation. Am I the only one feeling this? Do I send them a formal invitation anyway?

For further context, we and 95% of our guest list live on the US east coast and our wedding is taking place in my small hometown on the west coast (a 15+ hour trip one way). So I doubt that certain folks would actually attend if we are no longer very close and it would feel kind of like a cash grab which I don't intend, but I certainly don't want to offend people by not sending a formal invitation after sending a Save the Date a year ago...

Thoughts?

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Latest activity by Camille, on April 11, 2021 at 9:13 AM

Rockstar July 2022
Lisa Online · on December 30, 2020 at 10:30 AM
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I am also running into this issue! My original date was July 2020, but we postponed to July 2022. Even in the 6 months that it's been since we decided to postpone, there is about 5-10% of our guest list that we wish we could change. We're not making any changes at the moment (way too early for us to decide, since we have another year and a half to go), but what we're thinking we'll do is still send invites to everyone who got a Save The Date, and for those who we aren't close with anymore, they can decide whether or not to attend when they get their invite. If they attend, it might kind of restart the friendship, and that would be a good thing! I'd love to see what everyone else suggests on this topic too.
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Devoted November 2021
Maureen · on December 30, 2020 at 3:37 PM
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In the same boat!!! We have 160 people who have received save the dates, and we moved our wedding a whole year. So much has changed since Covid hit! Following this post for advice also. We aren’t sure what to do either!
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on December 30, 2020 at 4:49 PM
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Our original date was 10/10/20 and we postponed to 10/30/21. Everyone received the original save-the-date, the postponement announcement and our new save-the-date cards. We kept the same guest list because we didn’t invite any “just because“ guests. We only invited family and friends who we truly wanted to celebrate with us. People who we are close with and regularly communicate with. So the year of Covid restrictions didn’t change that for us.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on December 31, 2020 at 4:06 AM
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In terms of the people who broke up - either invite both of them separately, or pick the one you are still close to, and let them decide.
I would still invite everyone, as they got postponement cards, but understand a lot of people may not be able to travel in June.
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Expert September 2021
Dayna · on December 31, 2020 at 11:49 AM
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I expect we will also run into this problem since we postponed to September 2021. I think the best etiquette would still be to invite everyone you originally sent announcements to. If couples have broken up and you were only close to one person in the couple, its probably ok to invite just them. Recipients may decide not to attend if they feel like they aren't really close with you anymore, but it would be awkward if they are expecting an invitation and never get one. I also don't think it would feel like a cash grab since no-one is obligated to send a gift whether or not they end up coming.
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Devoted September 2021
Felicia · on January 4, 2021 at 7:16 AM
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I’m in the exact boat. We are having a September 2021 wedding in Beverly Hills and 85% of our guest list is coming from the east coast. We sent out save the dates last year and since then decided that we need to make changes, especially since California is strict with guidelines. I cut out some people who received save the dates and rebranded my wedding as a whole new event (instead of just saying I’m pushing it back). I also cut back on plus ones for people I’ve never met. After cutting my list down to everyone possible, I’m still at around 86-90 invites. I don’t expect everybody to show up but planning for it and still looking for options to go even smaller (60-70 people). My biggest fear is that we will have California restrictions on guest limits at events. We are assuming that no more than 100 people will be allowed to gather including staff, and making cuts that way. I just cant see California allowing to have a free for all guest count this year. Nonetheless, I do truly believe that this is the light at the end of the tunnel. By June, case counts should be a lot lower due to vaccines but I do think that guest limit restrictions (depending on indoor/outdoor) indoor dining and masks will still be around.
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Savvy June 2022
Camille · on April 11, 2021 at 9:13 AM
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Thank you for posting this. We’re in a similar situation. Our original date was June 2020 for our big celebration (we’d eloped just the two of us a year earlier, thankfully). We are now back into planning mode and are looking at June 2022. A lot has changed since then. Our original plan was a wedding in Copenhagen (my husband is Danish). The guests would be traveling from New York, Ohio, California, all over Europe. I very much want to have a smaller affair now and haven’t even had contact with some of the guests in our list since Covid. Am I required to invite all of the original people on the list? One person has ghosted me, for example (what adults do that by the way?).
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Brides who postponed... Guest Lists and Invitations??

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