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Tayla
Dedicated March 2020

Bridesmaid Backed Out 80 days before the Wedding

Tayla, on December 30, 2019 at 5:57 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
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So my best friend texted me today saying this..


I was waiting to see if I could get out of it but I just got confirmation I can’t...
I got promoted which I’m happy about however they have me doing trainings the first half of the year. Some are in oklahoma, some are not. And the one that’s in Texas is the same week as your wedding. I get back the day of your wedding but idk what time.
I tried to see if it was mandatory and my boss just got back from out of town today and told me yes. So i don’t think I can be in your wedding now only because it’s so iffy and I don’t want to stress you out more the day of then I already am now. 🙃😔
I’m really upset and sad because I really didn’t imagine getting married without her but I’m also upset that she waited to tell me this at such short notice. I’m not that upset but more hurt and I’m not sure of how to deal with it.. any advice? It’s hard to try and find someone at such short notice and I can’t tell my groomsmen they can’t be in it. It’s frustrating.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Cyndy, on December 31, 2019 at 8:34 AM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I'm sorry. Maybe she will find out she is getting back early enough that she could still be in your wedding. If not, you are just going to have to deal with it because there really isn't anything that can be done. My sister almost dropped out a week before my wedding because she didn't like how her dress looked once it was altered. I ran out and bought her a new dress. She was in a different dress than the rest of the girls who were all wearing the same dress and I spent a whole bunch of money on a new dress for her, but I bought it to avoid drama.
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    1st, I'm sorry you're disappointed! You just have to remember that unfortunately their lives cant revolve around your wedding and it sounds like she truly made an effort to make it work still. Your wedding is only one day whereas work is literally her livelihood! Please don't be upset!


    Also you don't have to replace her or have a guy drop out just to keep things even. I feel like more people have uneven bridal parties these days!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I’m so sorry that happened! But please don’t replace her or drop a groomsmen for the sake of having even sides. These are the most important people in your life... not props for even photos. If I were you I’d honestly just tell her you’d still love to have her stand next to you if she ends up being able to make it on time.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    This is so sad for you and for your friend. But there's nothing to actually do now, other than be sad, and then continue with your planning. The "short notice" doesn't change anything because you don't need to find a replacement or kick a groomsman out. Even sides are irrelevant. It's the people themselves that matter, not the symmetry.

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  • Amber
    Dedicated October 2020
    Amber ·
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    I understand you're upset, but like others said you shouldn't try to replace her. You shouldn't just pick someone just to have even numbers. My bridal party is uneven and I wouldn't have it any other way. You can either accept she won't be in it or hope she makes it back in time (just have a plan A with her and plan B without if she can't make it if that's the route you decide).
    She tried everything she could to still be a part of your wedding, so you can't really be upset with her. She may not have even found out herself until recently.
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  • User2574599655703
    Dedicated June 2021
    User2574599655703 ·
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    80 days is more than enough time to recalibrate. Your friend got promoted and there is nothing she can do. Send your congratulations and then find a replacement. Good luck!
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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    I’m so sorry! I completely understand your bm. My college best friend asked me to be her moh years ago and I was unable to take off work. I was trying to succeed in my career and am very much an A type personality so even if I took off a couple of days would stress me out. I was sad I had to miss it and still regret it to this day. If i knew how to balance my work-life balance better maybe I could have made it like I would be able to now. Sorry you’re sad!
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I’m sorry that this happened but you don’t need to replace her. Unfortunately everything can’t be planned around your wedding and this was out of her control. Just congratulate her on her promotion and keep moving forward.
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