Bridesmaid doesn’t want to travel cross country

As a bride, I am super understanding that not all guests will feel comfortable to fly to my wedding, including my bridesmaids. I think you should talk to your friend about your concerns, I am sure she is weighing her options. Unfortunately postponing a wedding isn't easy and can take time and effort on the bride's behalf so I'm sure she is being mindful of this and just hasn't made a decision yet.

This is exactly why we are considering no longer having guest besides immediate family, we don't want to put others or ourselves at risk. Besides, the wedding doesn't have to be for anyone but the couple anyways If I was invited to anyone's wedding right now I would tell them due to health concerns I will not be attending

As August is still a few months away, I understand why the bride does not want to postpone just yet. Every bride is taking it day by day and seeing how the situation evolves. Are you a bridesmaid or a guest?

I would expect each bride to make the decision that works best for them. If you do not feel comfortable going and you are a guest, don't go. If you're a bridesmaid that makes it more complicated but you shouldn't put your health on the line, so talk to the bride and tell her of your decision not to go.

I honestly don't think she's not being mindful because she is still keeping the event on, for now at least. If she got mad at you for not going, that would be a different story though but she probably is very stressed now and just wants to get married to the person she loves.

I live in California. Our governor is taking a very conservative approach to reopening the state. We're barely in his Stage One (start talking with business owners about what changes they'll have to make to reopen -- in VERY modified ways -- essential and/or low risk businesses, which will be Stage Two -- which could, maybe, possibly, who knows, start in a few weeks...). I'm pretty sure a 150+ person wedding would be in Stage 4, which he's already said we may not get to this year. Honestly, I'd be really surprised if a large wedding is allowed to happen in CA this summer, but like others said, your friends need to come to that conclusion on their own and are probably pretty stressed out right now. In the meanwhile, I do think it's completely appropriate that you let her know that, unfortunately, you're going to have to decline being a bridesmaid and attending because of the potential health risks for travel. Stay safe!

If you're going to reach out to her, I'd start on a non-wedding basis.

Check in on her, because even CA is struggling. Let her lead the conversation a little. Maybe wait a few chats to even bring it up - though she might, right away.

It's unlikely she's made a call on it, yet, invitations wouldn't even go out until June.

I understand your concern - we just got an STD for DH's cousin in October. Hopefully things will be better this summer.

I guarantee she is thinking about it every day. I'd check in on her but not to ask if the wedding is still on or not - just to provide support. I'm in this boat as a July bride and while I haven't been completely ignored, I do feel really lonely and anxious in this process because none of this is normal. While I haven't postponed yet, I am fully aware that it may need to happen. My venue isn't entertaining that discussion yet, so a lot of us have to proceed as though everything is on (until we are told it is not). As for the other question - I would not fault you for not being able to come to a wedding due to safety, even if you were my bridesmaid. The last thing I would want is someone to come to my wedding because they felt obligated to do so. Just don't lead with that - check in with the bride and offer some support.

So my bff's wedding is sept and most of her guest list is out of state. 3/4 of her bridesmaids are out of state too. and she said that at the end of the day she's gonna get married so whomever can come, come. it's not like anyone is forcing people to come, ya know?