Bridesmaid doesn't want to wear makeup?

View Quoted Comment Ask your fiancé’s groomsmen to wear some blush so their cheekbones are more prominent for the pictures. Sound ridiculous? If not, ask them and Let us know how that goes.

View Quoted Comment You don’t need to come at me for saying that I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask them to do it if EVERYONE else is. It’s not a matter of boosting their appearance it’s making it so everyone is relatively matching. If she truly doesn’t feel comfortable wearing makeup then she doesn’t have to, but all I was saying is I personally don’t think that’s unreasonable to ask her if she would be willing to wear makeup if she paid for it.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely no wedding guest looks at the bridesmaids cheeks to make sure they’re matching. Did we revert back to the 1930’s? My mind is absolutely blown at these responses. Let’s do better, ladies.

If you were asking for full glam for your friend who isn't in to that, I would think you're being ridiculous. But you've said that you would be more than okay with minimal makeup and you're paying for it. No, I don't think you should try to force your friend to wear anything at all if she is just adamant in not wanting to wear anything. But I would be pretty annoyed if this is someone who will sometimes wear makeup, and refuses to on your wedding day - which you say she does. If she just insisted she wasn't wearing any, I would just let it go- not worth losing the friendship.

But I'm also a bridesmaid who would wear a hot dog costume if that's what the bride wanted me to wear. I can't imagine refusing to wear minimal makeup to look the part for a formal wedding. I'd literally wear a potato sack and goggles if that's what they wanted.

View Quoted Comment The interesting thing about this thread is there was another one last night where the bride wanted everyone in the exact same hair and makeup, in a specific style. That I think is over the top...but I have no problem with a bride who wants the girls to look relatively the same level of formal/done up. As I said earlier in the thread, some foundation to even out her skin tone, and maybe some mascara and lip gloss. Very minimal. This is not a strange request.


As to the groomsman comparison, I've seen wedding pictures where I thought the men would have benefitted from concealer. Maybe we should emphasize skin care routines for men, instead of lowering the bar for everyone.

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Alter her normal lifestyle? She's been asked to wear makeup for a DAY. It isn't like Taylor is demanding she doesn't leave her house without makeup on forever. No one dresses as formally like they do for a wedding. It isn't like we wear cocktail or long dresses daily or men wear suits daily. Is asking a bridesmaid to wear a bridesmaids dress "altering her normal lifestyle", is asking a groomsmen or even a male wedding guest to wear suit and tie or a tux, also "altering his normal lifestyle"? How is makeup much different to this? Lots of women don't wear makeup daily but wear it when the occasion calls for it?

The bridesmaid should get over herself because the bride is asking a very simple request of her on the day. Bridesmaids get asked to do far more than just wear makeup when it comes to their appearance.

Why don't you have the MUA you are planning to hire for yourself and the other bridesmaids come and do a trial run for them? See if they will agree to a "no makeup makeup" look at least for a trial run to see if they like it first, and if they absolutely HATE IT for the practice run, then I would respect their wishes. Your photographer can always blur out a blemish or two if need be.

View Quoted Comment The double standard is ridiculous, especially in today’s day and age.
I hope this post gives brides and others pause before asking them to change anything about their looks or lifestyle habits to accommodate the esthetics of the wedding day.
It’s a wedding, not a fashion shoot.

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Agreed! Paying for your girls to get their makeup done doesn't have to be a women's rights movement. It's not that serious. It's literally a gift and a treat from the bride, not just for pictures. But so you're not the one person who looks like they didn't get the memo. I'm SURE this friend is beautiful with or without makeup, and if she just will not wear makeup, whatever. I just wouldn't consider it a fight worth having, from both the bride and bridesmaid

View Quoted Comment Yes, altering what she normally does everyday to accommodate someone else ... that in the most simplistic terms is asking someone to alter their normal lifestyle habits.
It does not matter if it’s for a day ... what you are wanting her to do is telling her who she is is not good enough for your wedding day image.
That’s over the top.

Asking a bridesmaid to wear minimal makeup (or really any makeup) is a pretty normal request. It isn't demanding of her time or money, in this case. She can do this for her friend/relative, whoever she is in relation to Taylor.

It is only for one day, an important day for the bride. And brides have bigger requests for bridesmaids regarding appearances. I've worn unflattering gowns, awful shoes and gotten a dark spray tan at the request of the bride. Wearing makeup is way less of a demanding request. I'm surprised at the comments making Taylor out to be a bridezilla.

View Quoted Comment I think ALL of this is over the top! “maybe we should emphasize skin care routines for men, instead of lowering the bar for everyone”. Seriously?? So you are saying “the bar” aka “the ideal” everyone should strive for, is beauty?! Not only did you NOT uplift the beauty of a natural faced woman... you actually suggested pulling men down to that shallow level too 🤦🏼‍♀️
The emphasis should be on NOT propagating this unhealthy attitude... not spreading it further. smh

View Quoted Comment Just because some Bridezillas have “bigger requests for bridesmaids regarding appearances” doesn’t make it RIGHT. I have no idea where this mentality came from that a bride gets to be an awful monster just because it’s her wedding day. I feel horrible for the “friends” of some of the people on this thread. I think certain people need to do some soul-searching and figure out exactly what is important... if a bridesmaid wearing make up to make her look more “acceptable” in pictures is worth throwing a fit about, then maybe they need to really reevaluate their priorities. Having someone wear a certain color dress or suit is not the same as having them put makeup on in order to change the appearance of their face! Just as having someone cut or color their hair, get a spray, wear colored contacts, forcing them to lose weight, etc. is also NOT acceptable behavior. These are not models and these are not your employees. Furthermore, everyone keeps saying to just have her do a natural “no make up” look. If you are going to pay hundreds of dollars for a make up artist to make her look like she’s not wearing make up, then WHAT’S THE POINT?! LOL
Save the money and just have her actually not wear make up.

View Quoted Comment By this logic, any guidelines or requests for bridesmaid attire is telling your friend she's not good enough. Most people do get fancier for weddings than for everyday...

View Quoted Comment I don’t think it’s an argument against meeting the formality of the event. It’s the argument that wearing makeup (a practice with very sexist roots) should be considered part of what is included as “expected”.

View Quoted Comment Yes, actually, everyone should arrive to look (and be!) their best, especially at a formal event where they will be photographed. I get our culture is wrapped up in a race to the bottom of who can care the least and be the chillest, but I don't agree with that in general, and I think there are certain occasions in life when you should put forth effort. I don't wear makeup most of the time now that I wfh, but for special occasions I absolutely get dressed up and take pride in my appearance.

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Okay, are the groomsmen expected to shave their stubble for the wedding? All of the weddings my fiancé has been in, he's never had to be asked to groom his face because it's kind of expected. It isn't sexist to ask the guys to shave their face and groom themselves to be presented in a formal event, why in the world is this such a huge thing that a bride wants her bridesmaids to look their best? I can't figure out why we throw around the term 'sexism' like this.

View Quoted Comment And that is absolutely your prerogative. However, it is absolutely NOT up to you (or anyone else) to force their views and opinions on someone else. Especially when it comes to physical appearance! Just because YOU think putting on a face of makeup makes you more beautiful or “your best”, others argue that makeup looks fake and takes AWAY from a woman’s beauty. I have no issues with women wearing make up, if they do so because they enjoy it. Makeup should never, ever, ever be forced upon someone though. Furthermore, your comment about the “race to the bottom of who can care the least” is super offensive when you tie it to the idea that “putting forth effort” (as you put it) requires altering your appearance in order to meet the standards of beauty set out by the beauty industry to make women feel insecure about themselves in order to sell products. For many women, feeling confident in their own skin and natural beauty is the ultimate definition of “taking pride in their appearance” (again your words). Some may argue that wearing make up is actually the opposite of taking pride in your appearance- it’s hiding your appearance.

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I know this is really hard to believe, but you can look your best without makeup.

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Not once did I say you couldn't. I actually said that I'm sure this woman is beautiful with or without. You completely skipped over my point because I'm using the same logic you're using and you don't have an explanation for why it can only apply to women.