Bridesmaid doesn't want to wear makeup?

And yet.... here YOU still are 😂
Just wondering how long you are going to keep stalking my responses and responding to me. 😆

View Quoted Comment

YOU'RE QUOTING ME LMAO

Bye girlie, enjoy those projects and volunteer work!

Hey guys. Thanks for your replies and feedback harsh or otherwise. I forgot my WW password 🤦‍♀️ so I couldn't reply. I'm not going to quote everyone individually. But I'll try to answer what I saw. I didn't expect this many responses.

I know she isn't a fan of makeup and rarely wears it. But she's worn it before several times. It isn't like she's never worn makeup ever. She's not allergic or anything like that, otherwise I never would have asked. She just doesn't like it. She's had her makeup done for a wedding before. That is why I thought it was okay to ask her to wear makeup to my wedding. I'm perfectly fine with her wearing minimal makeup, and some of the other maids are going for a minimal look. I'm not dictating everything.

Also I'm not just picking my bridesmaids for their looks. I'm picking them because they are my friends and family and I love them. It is a formal wedding we're we are all getting glammed up more than usual so I don't really think I'm that much of a bridezilla for considering this??? I don't think I'm asking for much?

I suggested that she have a trial run, to see what look she might like but she's refused that.

Let it go. Do you think her appearance in your pics will be so grotesque others won't want the pictures? Likely, No.
Do you think she will look rather her every day self, but wearing a dress? Well, what is so bad about that? Pictures are taken so you will remember the day as it was. Not so you can cast pro models and actresses to follow your instuctions and project a different image that you have for the character. If she is going for the dress and no more, that should be her choice.

View Quoted Comment Maybe when she had it done before it was uncomfortable? Or it was done so that she felt like she didn’t look like herself? We’ve all had really bad makeovers, and if she rarely wears it, she may feel like she will look bad again.
I adore makeup, but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Foundation may be a bit much for her, esp if she’s watched youtube and sees all the really complex contouring looks people do. Maybe she will be ok with some light lip color?

I would just ask her if she would be okay with a little blush and mascara and maybe even a tinted sunscreen/moisturizer so that it feels more natural

If you are paying to have it done, I would ask if she could compromise and do a light look or wear the look just for photos and then can take it off after if she wants. I rarely wear makeup so understand how it can be uncomfortable to wear a full face of makeup if fresh faced is your normal go to, but I do think there is a difference between minimal makeup and absolutely no makeup at all. Just some bb cream, tinted lip balm, a tiny amount of concealer on problem areas (if needed), and curling lashes and doing mascara can go a long way but still feel light and not heavy handed at all.

View Quoted Comment I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where another bridesmaid didn’t want to get her makeup done. She agreed to mascara though lol so I would suggest this too. I think she even did a tinted lip gloss.

View Quoted Comment Many have, but why should they have to? My husband is never asked to show up hours early for hair and makeup, because something awful would happen if other people see his face and hair as is. Until reality TV got in to making money from weddings, few had pro makeup and hair on site at all. This generation is starting a new sexist demand on women, and it is a lot to ask.

View Quoted Comment Ask FOG, FOB, groom and groomsmen and ushers to get pro hair and make-up services, and see just how to reasonable your Dad thinks it is.

I was concerned about this as well, and it turned out to be a non-issue. My MOH looked just fine in the photos. If she's comfortable in her own skin and happy for you, she'll look great. Let it go.

I know I'm late to the party but came across this thread while searching hair/makeup posts and just want to say yikes. OP you are not unreasonable for requesting your BMs wear makeup and have followed the etiquette of if you require something, you pay for it. Nowhere in your post did you mention looking good for pictures or being prettier with makeup so I have no clue why everyone jumped on you for that. In fact you did say that your friend will wear makeup if the occasion calls for it. I would be somewhat offended if my friend didn't think my wedding was that kind of occasion lol. I also imagine it would hurt to have a gift like this rejected since HMU are not cheap! Have an honest conversation with your friend about why and then let it go. Anyways I just felt compelled to comment because you got a lot of hate and so many of these posts are super harsh towards you and I don't think you're unreasonable or sexist or a bad friend. Talk about women tearing down other women jeez we're all just doing our best as brides.

Also putting this out there. While society's beauty standards for women are sexist, makeup is not inherently sexist and the way some people in these posts called this out was very judgmental to people who like makeup and feel more confident in makeup. I don't wear makeup but I would wear it for my friend's wedding and no I wouldn't feel societal pressure to do so nor would I jump to the conclusion that my friend thinks I'm ugly. It is not appearance altering or on the same caliber as asking someone to change their hair color that is just ridiculous. Also some brides on here may not be neurotypical and those small details being "different" could cause stress and anxiety and for some the need for control especially on such an emotionally heightened day is crucial. It's 2021 and everyone on here could have done better.

View Quoted Comment Hopefully a bride is comfortable enough with her wedding party to say “I know you don’t want to do this, please understand you not wearing makeup is a trigger for my anxiety, please consider doing this for me.”
If the friendship is truly close, this could be the resolution to the issue at hand.
Many of the issues on here seem to stem from not having heart to heart talks about what is happening and what a good resolution for everyone is.

View Quoted Comment On special occasions I absolutely dress up and take pride in my appearance, but unlike you, apparently, can achieve that without makeup or a hair stylist. Why should I do it because you feel the need?

View Quoted Comment Brides only get away with requiring specific dresses or suits because we as a culture accept wearing some kind of ceremonial clothes on certain occasions.
But that does hot mean any part of the body, hair, skin makeup, tattoos, fingernails, facially jair

Sorry - or facial hair.

So many of these responses did not pass the vibe check. It’s your wedding, it’s your money that you’re spending thousands of dollars for photography, and it’s your day so it’s completely reasonable to want a cohesive look. Being a bridesmaid is a great honour but it’s also a role. Your closest family/friends who are in your bridal party should be willing to please you for this one day. Buying a dress, and getting hair and makeup done are the minimum requirements of a bridesmaid. You are valid for wanting a cohesive look. There are even many options for makeup that is a more natural look. It’s your day!!!