Bridesmaid Dress - Is $250 too much?

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Thank you Elizabeth for the advice because after all I did ask

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Hi Deb,

I think that was a sweet gesture for you to do. My bridesmaid are not complaining about the amount, I just wanted to get other brides opinions to see something. But I will put that into my budget to see if I can surprise them with that gift.

I think $250 is a lot for a dress that you’ll only wear once and more than likely the girls will have to spend another $40-$100 in alterations unless they are tall and the dress will hit them
In all the right spots. I would ask if they are able to cover it if not I would try to get a different dress. I’ve been in four weddings. Three of them the bride paid for the dress and one of them I had to pay for my dress, heels, makeup and alteration so it ended up costing me over $500. I would say know your girls and where they are in life and talk to them about it. Each person is in their own state in life.

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Just a note on this - I've been in several weddings where the bridesmaid dress was a designer gown that cost a bit more than what you're looking for your BMs to spend. The bride in each of these weddings had the mindset of, it's a beautiful designer gown, they will all absolutely wear it again. At the end of the day, it's still a bridesmaid dress and looks like a bridesmaid dress. I go to a lot of formal events and have never once been inclined to wear either of those gowns again, nor have any of the other women in those bridal parties. I did not enjoy spending that on a bridesmaid gown. The women who needed theirs altered enjoyed it even less.

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Just a note on this - I've been in several weddings where the bridesmaid dress was a designer gown that cost a bit more than what you're looking for your BMs to spend. The bride in each of these weddings had the mindset of, it's a beautiful designer gown, they will all absolutely wear it again. At the end of the day, it's still a bridesmaid dress and looks like a bridesmaid dress. I go to a lot of formal events and have never once been inclined to wear either of those gowns again, nor have any of the other women in those bridal parties. I did not enjoy spending that on a bridesmaid gown. The women who needed theirs altered enjoyed it even less.

Personally I think that is way too much, I would ask for maybe $150 tops. However, they are picking their dresses for my wedding.

As someone who just had to pay $250 for a bridesmaid dress and hates it, I say yes... to a point. I think it depends on your friends and the wedding itself. If your friends can afford that easily, and you're planning a $100,000 wedding, I don't think that's insane to ask.

However, in my case the bride asked us to use expensive dresses from her bridal boutique because "no where else has her color." It is burgundy... and I know for a fact she didn't attempt to get color swatches from anywhere else to check. Also, we are spending money on bachelorette party, bridal shower, and for lodging since the wedding is hours away from any of the bridesmaids. The cherry on top for me is that she's also constantly talking about how they have to save money for themselves on their wedding but didn't believe that $250 for one dress, not including cost of alterations or accessories, was too much to ask us to spend without any other options.

Just don't be that person, and I'm sure you're fine!

Also... just because they all said it's fine, don't assume everyone actually loves the idea. Actually think about it yourself if you're truly asking too much from your bridesmaids depending on where they're at. I said everything was fine in our group chat because everyone else was totally cool with it, and I'm not going to be the one person who complains. However, I do really think the bride could've taken a step back and considered other options when we offered them to her instead of acting like "it's the least we should do" similarly to what you've mentioned.

View Quoted Comment Is it safe to ask if you guys are still friends? My bridesmaid only expense will be the dress and shoes

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We are still friends and I'm not going to cause a fuss because I can afford it, it's just significantly more than I wanted to spend while planning my own wedding as well. I'm just using it to help me gauge what I expect from my own bridesmaids and make a point to talk to them individually instead in a group to make sure everyone is good with everything.

I don't think that's too much to ask with no other expenses. The biggest thing is when stuff starts to add up where I believe that's a lot to ask of someone for your own day.

A poster mentioned the dress relative to the cost of the wedding - I don't think the bridesmaids should be penalized because the bridal couple chose to have a higher cost wedding. My wedding was mid six figures, the BM dresses came from David's Bridal, and I paid for everything else, plus they wore shoes/jewelry that they already owned.

Just because I chose to spend a lot doesn't mean that they should too. I used David's because they're located all over the country, you can order online, and they'll exchange sizes within reason for new pregnancies, postpartum body changes, etc. I'd have been mortified to ask them to spend a lot on my wedding. I also considered a more $$ BM dress and would have paid this difference if I'd chosen it.

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Agree with this completely. Our wedding was very extravagant and cost slightly over $100K, but we still made sure to keep the bridesmaids dresses in the $125-$150 range. I don't think the couple's choice to hold an expensive wedding has any correlation to being able to request expensive bridesmaids attire, unless the couple is paying for that as well