Bridesmaid gone mia

View Quoted Comment Ok thank you for the clarification! If they’re just going to try that could be fun, but she may not want to so I think you need to ask her if she wants to wait a little longer before she starts looking and let her know (or reiterate) there is no pressure to pick anything yet and you just want her to get ideas

View Quoted Comment It looks like your expectations are the issue then. Let it go. Treat her like a friend. What would you normally do if a friend was not responding to you about normal things? Most people would be worried that the friend wasn't ok and would go out of their way to check on them.

Maybe she is experiencing a change or challenge in her personal life right now. When I'm depressed about something I "shut down." I limit the amount of phone calls I answer to just a few family members and I just don't want to deal with anyone. Eventually, I come around and it's possible that your friend will too. Give her time.

View Quoted Comment My expectations are the problem? All I asked was a simple dinner something all the other girls agreed too (even ones who live PA and Delaware). I have tried to reach out again even including her in play dates for the kids and no response

Maybe you can reach out to one of her family members to ask if she's okay.

View Quoted Comment Well I’m hoping to hear back from her soon,
at this point I don’t care about the dinner I just want to see what’s going on. My daughter keeps asking for her son and I don’t even know what to say to her anymore.

That's strange. Since your wedding is so far away, I wouldn't cut ties with her yet. I would try to figure out why she isn't answering. One of my bridesmaids is super busy, she is a college professor and freelancer. When I talk to her she doesn't respond for sometimes weeks at a time but I can understand why. Maybe try to see what is going on with her.

View Quoted Comment Yup. Your expectations are too much. Just because others are game to have a group dinner, she doesn't have to be there. Just because others are looking for dresses so early, she doesn't have to be involved. Let those expectations go.

If you value the friendship, stop looking at her as a bridesmaid who isn't doing what you expect. Look at her as a friend and find out if she is ok. Something is probably going on in her life. She might not want to burden you since you are deep in wedding lanf. There's a very good chance it has nothing to do with the wedding, but the expectations being put on her are making things worse. Go to your friend and find out what is going on, reach out to others who might know more. Be her friend, not a bride.

View Quoted Comment I don’t feel that way but to each his own 🤷🏽‍♀️ And again I have tried to be a friend and reach out to her. But you can only do so much we aren’t children and it would be nice to not be left in the dark about things. I’m not a mind reader if there is an issue than let me know.

View Quoted Comment Since it's now come to a point where its affecting your children, try calling one of her family members to ask if she is okay and see what's going on. It's not fair on the children.

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I'm going to add to the chorus of you have way to high expectations. Just because you disagree - doesn't mean it isn't true.

Your normally responsive friend hasn't been responding to you. To me, I'd be freaking out and trying to make sure they are okay - not worrying about how it will affect me. Perhaps be a friend and figure out what is wrong versus worrying that she doesn't want to come to a dinner party or buy a dress 2 years in advance. And part of being a good friend is realizing that if something is really wrong, they might not be able to reach out and doing the reaching out for them. I've been depressed at the level where I can function enough so people at work don't notice, but then I'm left with no energy to do anything - especially explain how I'm feeling because I feel terrible that I feel bad (It can be super cyclical). Luckily I have friends who notice when I disappear (not usually like me) and will just show up at my door with food and not ask questions.

View Quoted Comment Just because you think your right doesn’t make it so. I have tried to reach out lIke I have said multiple times with no response not sure what else I could possibly due 🤷🏽‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Why are you speaking as if you know this bridesmaid personally? She even mentioned that she reached out to her to set up a play date and still no response. Stop trying to make her out to be one of those bridezillas. You did the same thing to me in one of my posts.

Maria. I agree with othe poster, try to get in contact with one of her family members if possible. Good luck to you!

The last thing I want is to be is a bridezilla and for anyone who tries to make me out that way doesn’t know me very well. I will give her some more time and not push the issue with her and maybe it will all work out for the best.

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As I said, if my usually responsive friend wasn't responding despite multiple attempts I'd be showing up at her door making sure she is alive. And if that didn't work, I'd be calling her mom/boyfriend/other mutual friends until I got confirmation she was alive and well. My first thought would be about her well being - not anything about the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Well given to the fact she has no problem posting on social media and talking to other people I’m going to assume she is avoiding talking about the wedding.

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Exactly this. I was going to comment, but this says everything. Good luck, and try not to stress too much...you have plenty of time between now and your wedding.

View Quoted Comment One of the bridesmaids in a wedding I was in did this to the bride. It turned out she had been struggling financially and was avoiding contact about the wedding because she knew she’d have to pay for things and didn’t know how to inform the bride that she couldn’t participate in certain activities. Of course this may not be the case here but just an example.

Since you’ve tried to contact her directly and no response, maybe reach out to a family member of hers or a mutual friend and ask if she is ok, above all you should try to maintain the friendship

I think her ignoring you and on social media is her way of saying she doesnt want to do it unfortunately. I don't think there is anything to read into this and likely nothing that you did if you all have been cool since you asked. Maybe things were going good when she originally agreed to the 2019 wedding but maybe not so much in 2020. I postponed mine as well and i had to re-ask if the girls were still interested before going forward again. Id wait it out with her and continue doing what you need to with the other girls. One pony doesnt stop a show.

If your wedding is far away it could be like mine! I habe no date picked but looking at a year out and my BP wouldn't change if I had waited. I'll send them some messages here and there just to update or get some opinions but some dont respond (group chat) but I'm not worried about it because I know they'll be there at the end. It's hard especially dependent on their life being hectic with jobs, family, school, etc. It's definately hard if you are trying to make sure she can come or not and in my opinion, to be part of the wedding party she should be at least responding. A friend in general should communicate. Good luck though !