Ok, this has been on my mind for a while and I have been trying to wait things out, but I need advice. I have a bridesmaid that is also my coworker. I have been working at this job for about 2 years now and we became good friends last summer. Everything was fine and there were no issues. And then the New Year hit and the dynamic of our relationship changed basically overnight and I really had no clue why. I laid low to try to let things simmer out, but the tension grew and I decided it was time to address it with her. I wrote and email to her so that I would have the chance to word things correctly to not make things worse and to have paper trail so that my words were not flipped on me. Through the email I just stated that things had changed between us and I was unsure why. I explained to her that I had been on and off my depression meds and had recently been struggling with my mood and emotions. I apologized to her about this and acknowledged that I had been a pretty negative person to be around and that I was working on fixing it. I also addressed that I hadn't liked how she had been treating me lately. I explained that she probably didn't realize that she was doing any of those things since she has such a strong personality and that I knew that it wasn't her doing it in spite of me. I was just trying to clear the air and tension so that things could get better between us. I even ended the letter telling her that I just wanted our friendship back and the intent of the letter was not to "bash" her and that I am not claiming I'm perfect either. I asked her for any feedback on what I could work on as well. This email was about a page and half long and she responded with 12 pages of her bashing me. She went on and on about how no one likes to be around me and how she has it so much worse than me in life. At work, it was even worse. She began giving me the silent treatment and turned the rest of the 3 case managers against me. Everything that I has once confided in her was now the office's business. A week after, all the girls sat me down and asked me what was going on (4 against 1). I explained that there were things going on in my life, but I have been dealing with it and haven't bothered any of them on it. They went on another bash session about how it was now tense in the office because of the silent treatment being given to me. Long story short, trust was broken between us and things were dropped but not fixed. I can't trust her with any personal life details and I don't really like being around her. I'm at the point though, that I don't know if this is something I want to fix. I don't like the person she is and someone I really don't want in my life. I go to work, do what I need to do and leave. I am friendly with everyone, but for the most part keep to myself because I am so over the high school drama. So the difficult part… I don't want to be her friend and I don't want her apart of my wedding, but I am too scared to cut her from the wedding party because I know she will make my life a living hell at work. I can't change jobs right now and I shouldn't have to get away from a bully. So I am stuck. Do I just bite it and let her be a part of my wedding to avoid unnecessary drama (and maybe I am being too dramatic anyways) or do I nicely cut her out? Also, she has made no effort to help the other bridesmaids with any of the event planning. From the last time I talked to her, she hasn't bought her dress or shoes yet either. Help! Am I being too drastic?
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