Bridesmaid Information to ask

This is completely unnecessary. You don't need to know their sizes. They can order their dresses themselves. If you're worried about allergies, just have a conversation. A form to fill out makes it seem like its a job...

I agree. As a plus size woman I'm begging you to not make the sizes public to everyone. If someone is going to order shirts for an event or something, only the person order needs to know the sizes. I had to put my shirt size on a Google doc with someone's whole 8 person bachelorette party and it was embarrassing. I would say that you can provide contact info to the people who need it and leave it at that.

Agree - it's something I wouldn't do if I were a bridesmaid. If you want to know sizes for robes/shirts/etc just ask. If they have an allergy they are probably aware of it enough not to eat/drink whatever may have it. You should already know if they have allergies if you're that close to them - close enough to want them as a bridesmaid. You should already have their contact information as well. If you want them to get to know each other - start a group chat or have a meal together and sit, talk, be merry.

This is 100% only for me. I am ordering all dresses and I dont have most peoples emails. I feel like that's the best way to contact people regarding wedding stuff so they can save it in a folder or find it later

View Quoted Comment I would just text them individually and ask what size you need to order for them. For allergies I wouldn’t bother because that’s something they would write on the RSVP. It’s fine to ask for their email or address but again I would do this in a quick text. If you want to take this information and put it in a document you can but I would find it odd if I was a bridesmaid and given a form to fill out.

View Quoted Comment That makes sense to me, I just saw a bunch on pinterest and thought that they could be helpful considering i do need some of that info since I'll be ordering everything. Allergies were something I was worried about because alot of my family has allergies to different florals i.e. lavender/pine/sage

Are you ordering their dresses? I asked bridesmaids for their sizes in individual texts so they wouldn't be embarrassed for getting ready outfits. I also had their contact information (all I needed was phone & address), so I didn't need to ask for it. I didn't ask about allergies since they will just mark that on their invite. I would just text them individually for what you need.

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If this is something you want just for yourself, and it makes you happy, I don't see a problem with it. Unnecessary, yes. But to each their own. Are you sending this via personal email or snail mail? Either way, keep each of their answers/forms private. The only thing I'd suggest be aware of is the potential of asking them certain questions might give them too much input. For instance, if one of your fun questions is "Do you have any opinions on the dress?" or "Is there anything you'd like to see at our wedding?" Just be cautious on involving them too much. I wish I could give you some examples of good fun questions, but I just can't think of any.

Hi Maya,
I think that your intentions are very sweet, and that you are a very organized/antalyical person. Size (& age) can be a sensitive subject. I think the rest is fine & can be fun. I would send the form to the MOH & BMs & then send them texts about their sizes, since you are purchasing the dresses. There is something more intimate about telling your size via cell then providing it via a spreadsheet. Happy planning!

I think it's more so the info can be collected in one place and only has to be asked once. Im doing one too and the sizes are so that I can order robes/pjs for getting ready as part of their day of gifts. If you're making a form on google forms, the only person reviewing it is the one making the form.

Im collecting:

getting ready wardrobe preferences (robe vs nightgown, vs button set)

Who is getting hair and makeup

what tasks can the bridesmaids help with

shoe size for slippers

music for road trips and getting ready

snack and drink preferences,

allergy info

date availability for bachelorette and bridal shower

A photo/headshot of themselves they like ( I want to add blurbs about the bridal Party onto the wedding website)

Affordable price ranges for things like the Bachweekend, hair and makeup, dress, etc.

What tasks do people want to help with (some examples are: help with addressing envelopes, planning games for the bridal shower and bach party, being in charge of music for parties and getting ready, and having someone to take pics and videos during the getting ready, and bach party as behind the scenes, etc)

And to anyone who says otherwise, unfortunately being a bridesmaid is a job, it's a substantial financial and time commitment. No one backs out of being a bridesmaid because they don't feel like it. It's either because you are a bridezilla, or because they can't afford it. Between helping you plan and host a bachelorette party, a bridal shower, the dress, shoes, hair, Mani/Pedis, and The gifts that they get you. Not to mention the time spent at parties for you and taking time from work for a Bach party, and dress shopping, and luncheons and rehearsal dinner set up and take down for parties, handling your vendors for your day of so you don't stress, holding your dress while you pee, the list goes on and on. It is 100% a job, but it's one our friends do for us because they love us. I understand that as brides we have a tone more to do and pay for, but that doesn't mean we should diminish the time, energy, and money or bridesmaids put into parties that are for us, and not them.

Edit: I know this thread is old, but in case someone else like me stumbles across this thread I wanted to leave what I am doing in here to share with other brides

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Not even close. The "maid" in bridesmaid historically refers to young women, not a job or an endless list of obligations to an entitled bridezilla. Almost all of the things you mention are completely optional and voluntary. The only obligation is to purchase the agreed upon dress, attend a rehearsal if possible, and stand in support of the couple. Don't confuse things you've seen people choose to do out of generosity with things they are expected to do.

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Jade, I completely agree! The title bridesmaid is not just a title! Its symbolizing your friendship, one where you guys support and are there for eachother! Why shouldn't they treat your wedding the same way? It's crazy to think their job is to basically be a guest that stands instead of sits and wears a "coordinated" dress. How does that "support" your new marriage? Idk, that's just my thought. You're far from a bridezilla, lol. If your bridesmaids know you, i doubt they'd be surprised by your list.

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If you want to be "historical" then your bridesmaids should be matching the bride in their entirety. The point of the bridesmaid was to protect the bride from evil and spirits. They had to match the bride to confuse the evil and spirits by making them unsure who the bride was. That seems like a pretty big responsibility to me...

Historically, your maid of honor was supposed to act as your handmaiden leading up to your wedding and be at your beck and call... that seems like a responsibility to me...

Your Bestman is historically the person who was best handling a weapon so that if bandits robbed the wedding or tried to kidnap the couple, they could defend the couple and the gifts. That seems like an even greater responsibility to me....

Now, the things that I mentioned in my post, a bachelorette party, a bridal shower, the dresses, shoes, hair and makeup, Mani/Pedis, gifts, the time spent at parties for you, and taking time from work, dress shopping, luncheons, rehearsal dinner, set up and take down for parties, handling your vendors for your day-of so you don't stress, holding your dress while you pee, etc. These are what most would consider modern-day traditions and responsibilities. And sure, most of it can be optional. I'm having my girls pay for their own hair and makeup if they want it, and if they can't take the time off of work for a bachelorette party then they don't need to worry about it. But to act like any of these things are out of the norm or make someone a bridezilla for having them is ludacris. and these are just western/American traditions! God forbid some of us are "ethnic" brides or marrying into other cultures and have even more responsibilities and events that our bridesmaids are supposed to be a part of! (personally, I have a henna night that is supposed to happen which is another party in its entirety!)

The point of my post was just to remind brides that their bridesmaids do a lot and that we should remember to appreciate them more often than we probably do because being a bridesmaid IS a big deal and it does imply more than just a dress, and 2 nights.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. A bridesmaid is not a job. By putting too many expectations on them, you risk damaging the friendship. If they are all in the same friend circle, great, but it’s not a place to meet people and the above list of details about likes and personal information is unnecessary.