Hello,
My childhood friend is one of my bridesmaids, we've been friends since were children, but have always had our issues. Issues aside, I asked her to be in my wedding because I did want her there. I have 3 bridesmaids and 1 matron of honor. My friend since we were kids always expected me to ask her to by Maid of Honor, but because of her normal life obligations I did not ask her because I knew she wouldn't support me in the way I needed in that role. I actually delayed asking her all together because I knew she might have trouble being involved. My friend has a young toddler aged daughter, she is technically a single mom. She does have a boyfriend that she lives with, but says he does not financially help her. When she accepted the roll as bridesmaid I let her know approximately how much goes into a wedding as a bridesmaid. She said her budget all together was $500, which is a good budget for dress, alterations, hair and bachelorette party. I am not requiring the girls to get new shoes, jewelry, etc. When I went to pick out my wedding dress my friend was not able to come along, recently, she was supposed to accompany me to my dress fitting, but said something came up with that as well.(but I found out she lied about what she was actually doing) When we got the bridesmaid dresses, she had to leave halfway through because she had a graduation party to attend for her cousin, which I was okay with. She did not purchase her dress that day and told me she would purchase it within the following week. It has now been 3 months and getting to the point where if she doesn't buy it, it will not come in on time for the wedding, which she knew I have kept asking her every couple of weeks if she has got the dress yet, and she has not. My matron of honor scheduled a bachelorette party for march within the same time frame, all of the other bridesmaids had paid their half of the trip that was due back in June, but she has not, leaving my matron of honor short that money, because she paid it out of her own pocket. I asked my friend is she still thought this was something she could financially do, because when I asked her why she hasn't paid for the other things, she blames it on personally issues/not knowing deadlines. The deadlines thing is untrue, because my matron of honor said when she needed the money by several times and this friend repeatedly kept saying she would get her the money and hasn't. As far as the dress, it could wait, but might not come in on time if she didn't order it by October. (unfortunately I do not have the money to pay these things for her either, nor do I think its fair to my other bridesmaids who have been there every step of the way) I expressed my concerns, because she kept saying the reason she has been slacking is due to money for medical bills, her child, and car expenses. All of which, I completely understand. When I asked her if she wanted to still be in the wedding or just come as a guest, she told me if she had to come as a guest, she wasn't sure she would actually be coming (but claimed to still want to be friends). But in my eyes, if you don't want to come to the wedding because you couldn't afford to be in the wedding/claim to have so much going on, then why would I continue to be your friend. Maybe she spoke out of anger (totally understandable), but I feel as if she was truly my friend she would come to the wedding no matter what. She also expressed she was upset that she's not the maid of honor. Through our whole conversation, she hasn't showed remorse for the way she has made me feel throughout all of this, meanwhile I'm out her asking strangers for advice. Any advice would be appreciated. TIA
