Bridesmaid possibly can't get leave for my wedding!

Oh I’m sorry. That’s no fun at all. However with that being said, I don’t think you owe her back for her dress. Was there a possibility that she could have been denied without COVID? I don’t think you have to refund her for the dress but if you want to that would be very nice of you! Good luck to you! I hope she makes it hope in time!!

You're holding out for one more week, it's not that long to wait and make a decision. Is she the same size as any of your other friends that could possibly take her place? I'm not sure I'd postpone just because one of the BMs couldn't make it (It sucks, I understand), but what if you postpone and suddenly now another BM can't make it, or a groomsman? Just have a back up plan, whether it's to replace or just go with one less. Don't worry so much about it, it's completely out of your control and worrying only causes wrinkles.

I personally would pay her back if she can’t make it. I definitely would not postpone anything though. It will more than likely cost you a lot more.

i definitely would not postpone anything either. could you livestream anything for her?

I would offer to pay her back if you can afford it. She literally would not have spent that money if you hadn't asked her to, and not being able to attend won't be her fault. That said, she may not accept your offer, and that's fine, too.

There's nothing for you to do otherwise. I definitely wouldn't try to find a "replacement" (how do you replace a friend??).

No don’t postpone bc of that even though it’s unfortunate. I think it would be nice to pay her back but I don’t think you necessarily need to.

I would not postpone. Have faith that she will get leave. If she can't make it you can have one of your others bridesmaids face time her and hold her up during the ceremony so she is still included

I wouldn't postpone anything, but I would decide with your FH on a backup plan of either being short a person (which would be my preference, in all honesty), or asking someone to stand in...if that's what you choose to do, ask this person if you can buy her dress from her, but be VERY careful how you approach the new person because this is the kind of thing that, even though it's a sincere deviation from your plan and everyone is taken aback by it, could come across as being an afterthought and a bit insensitive to your stand in bridesmaid - if that makes any sense.

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Thank you all for the wonderful advice. Like this is not stressful enough! It seems like I fix one problem and then another problem arises! I am just so close to my breaking point! I am trying to keep the faith since we only have less than 25 days but each day is a struggle. I am just wanting to cry!

Can you set up a zoom or Facebook live for her to participate?

My cousin is also military, he can’t get leave either. Perhaps a FaceTime video? I agree it’s stopper frustrating but definitely don’t replace her!

*super darn auto correct!

Yeah, I don't think I will replace her!! She is irreplaceable anyways, just sucks. Now just seems like more issues popping up. Florida requires the people from out of state for their state to have under 700 cases per 100K, currently as of today 2 states with most of our out of state guests are coming a little too close for comfort in the 600's. I don't know how high these numbers jump each day, but that definitely is something else to worry about as well.

We ran into the same issue with one of my FH’s groomsmen who’s in the marines. He’s saying he’s still going to try and get his leave approved and if he can’t we’ll just have a uneven ratio to groomsmen/ bridesmaids. It really sucks but I’m happy you guys are not postponing. Good luck!!

I don't think I would postpone or recruit a stand-in, but I would try to reimburse her for any expenses she incurred. Gosh, I am sorry this is happening!

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Thank you! Yes, it sucks and it is so hard because I know how badly she wants to be here and how much I want her here! Everything surrounding this year just sucks! Hoping to still have a special day regardless of all the hurdles we have been against and will still face in the upcoming 22 days